Chapter 6
***
A week has passed since the day I heard about Edlade.
In the meantime, I have sincerely fulfilled Halbert’s request.
“My Lady, are you going to the greenhouse today?”
“……Yes, please.”
Lasha only looked at me as she didn’t know how to comfort me.
No one has experienced the same phenomenon as Edlade even if Halbert searches all over the continent. That’s why nobody knows how to react.
‘I don’t know either.’
Halbert said Edlade forgets about me every day even if he doesn’t see me. Edlade forgot that he was married to me every day because our first link between him and me was marriage.
“It’s awful, it’s awful.”
Slam- Slam
I just slammed the stamp on the documents that were supposed to be stamped.
The biggest defiance I could do right now was to hit the stamp hard.
Yes, it was just this.
‘I will tell His Excellency every morning about the existence of My Lady. I don’t know if His Excellency will accept that, but I ask for your favor.’
‘What do you mean, take good care of me?’
Halbert’s words meant that even if I meet Edlade somehow, I shouldn’t offend him.
Just like I had called Edlade’s name before.
If something like that happens on a day when Edlade’s in a bad mood, Halbert might not be able to save me.
Edlade is that kind of a man.
“Sigh…”
I was in a terrible situation.
Still, I couldn’t blame him for his poor condition.
Because this is what I have brought on myself.
“I am being severely punished.”
My shattered heart was slowly turning to dust.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t get it back together.
There were no more documents to stamp, so I got up from my seat.
There was no need to learn or ask for help because the internal work of the mansion had already been done.
Halbert admired me for my skillful work, but I wasn’t happy.
Because this was something I learned directly from Edlade before regression.
Although I was trembling with fear, I learned by clenching my teeth because I had to become useful and should not get abandoned.
Like a rabbit in front of a wild beast, I laughed at the recollection of learning to work while stumbling at his every word.
At that time, I was like a rabbit in front of a really hungry beast. A rabbit who trembles in fear of being eaten.
What did he think when he saw me like that? It was probably annoying at the time. He must have been irritated. If it wasn’t for the emperor’s order, wouldn’t he have sent me divorce documents right away?
I thought he was very patient with his personality. Even if I stopped looking at the last time, after regression, ‘Get rid of it.’ He spat at me as soon as he saw me.
‘I guess the words “Get rid of it” hurt my feelings.’
It seems that way because I keep thinking about it.
How am I supposed to reconnect the broken relationship with him?
Can I mend it?
My steps to the greenhouse were heavy.
All kinds of words have already circulated in the mansion. They didn’t mean to offend me, but their sympathetic gaze made me feel even more terrible.
A few people knew that Edlade doesn’t remember me.
So, to the people of the mansion, I was a powerless hostess who was ignored by my husband.
‘Still, it’s not the worst.’
The worst thing is that I stabbed him in the heart.
It’s okay because he is alive.
As long as I can keep up.
It was a conclusion I came to after thinking and pondering for a week.
Clap!
I came to my senses when I slapped my cheeks with both hands.
There is no room for sagging.
“Yes! I can do it!”
Edlade opened the door of the greenhouse when I was cheering myself to be happy and strengthen my resolve.
“……”
“……”
An awkward gaze crossed each other.
To be honest, I wanted to ignore Halbert’s words and snoop around Edlade who didn’t know me.
My desire to peek at him from afar was high, but he was a talented man with strong power.
He has great five senses, so I might be misunderstood if I just snooped around and got caught.
So I only went back and forth between the bedroom, the office, and the greenhouse as much as possible.
According to Halbert, Edlade doesn’t go near the greenhouse. So we didn’t see each other for a week. Unfortunate. But why is he in front of me when I open the greenhouse door?
“What can I do?”
“Ah….”
A cold gaze and a cold voice.
Is there anyone who can lower the ambient air temperature at once like this?
“…are you that woman?”
He asked as he overbearingly looked down at me and I didn’t answer.
Perhaps Halbert is faithfully fulfilling his promise to talk about my existence every morning.
“Ah… yes. I am that woman.”
I awkwardly bowed my head.
I just made up my mind, but I didn’t expect to see his face so soon.
My pounding heart raced hard at the fact that I met him despite my promise.
“Did I marry you?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
I don’t know that either. Because it was the emperor’s order.
His hot gaze continued to bore a hole over my bowed head. So much so that I was worried that the back of the head might have been punctured.
“Ah… was it in the name of His Majesty?”
Why are you asking when you know?
Are you doing this on purpose?
To catch me making a mistake?
Edlade was more likely to do so, thus I carefully moistened my dry lips.
‘If you make a mistake, you may die.’
Unlike Halbert who had a strong heart, I am a coward.
I was very worried that my liver might have become the size of a pea.
Edlade’s gaze was so overwhelming that it pierced the back of the head and pressed even my shoulders.
“Yes.”
“……”
“Why did you do that?”
What’s that? I don’t know. What’s that?
I put a lot of force on my shaky eyes and raised my head.
He could no longer be staring at the back of my head.
“What are you talking about?”
“That.”
Edlade pointed the tip of his chin to my cheek.
That? my cheeks?
Is he talking about slapping myself in the face before entering the greenhouse?
“… I was cheering up my energy.”
“By self-harming?”
“Not in the sense of self-harm, but the sense of sobering. . .”
My voice faded at the end of the sentence.
I thought it would be difficult to make him understand no matter what I said.
It would look crazy.
“I don’t think it’s crazy.”
Fortunately, He didn’t treat me like a madwoman.
“It’s my way. This makes me feel refreshed.”
“I must have heard it twice.”
“What?”
“It’s done.”
Edlade’s gaze, which seemed unlikely to disappear, left.
I blinked and looked at him as he paid no attention to me and walked out of the greenhouse.
What happened?
It didn’t work at all.
“Edlade!”
As he was leaving, his steps stopped.
The cold gaze that had disappeared touched me again.
He spoke as in the evening of that day without hiding his atrocities. “Who gave you permission to call me by name?”
“You allowed me.”
“I’ve never done that”.
“Didn’t you hear from Halbert?”
“……”
“You forget about me every day. Are you sure you’ve never done that?”
He frowned at my words for the first time today.
A subtle frown was seen through the hair that covered his eyebrows.
“I wouldn’t have allowed you to call me by name.”
“Oh, my. What should I do?”
“……”
“You allowed me.”
As I smiled, he made more wrinkles on his forehead than before.
“I don’t remember.”
“I guess so.”
“……”
Edlade sucked in the breeze and slowly lowered his back.
He had a very large body, so if he didn’t bow down, then his eye level wouldn’t match mine.
He looked me straight in the eye and said, “Listen carefully, I’m sure I’ll lose the memory of you…”
“It’s probably because I don’t have to remember.”
He smirked in ridicule.
Edlade slowly reached out and grabbed my fluttering hair with his fingers.
He once acted like that and whispered sweet words.
I remembered those days as if it was nothing more than just a memory that could never come back.
“I won’t remember you, neither tomorrow nor the day after tomorrow. So don’t stand out and don’t call me by name.”
With those words, Edlade left without any regrets.
After he left, I stood there in a daze for a while. If it weren’t for Lasha who brought me the meal, I would probably have been standing all the time.
‘He speaks harshly.’
He was so different from the Edlade I knew in my memory.
How on earth did I get close to him?
When did a man who is not interested in others come to like me?
I couldn’t understand.
“It’s hard.”
It wasn’t difficult to get him interested.
Just like a while ago, I was able to attract his attention only for a short time with the truth that I was married.
A woman he can’t remember has become his wife, and he’ll probably wonder what kind of woman I am.
After that one time, I’ll be out of his focus again. But for Edlade, who doesn’t remember me, “Once” will happen every day.
However, just by calling his name, he turned cold as if he had touched the plague.
‘I can approach you without calling your name.’
Calling his name isn’t important.
It’s my determination.
As much as the name, I cannot give you up.
It was the first gift he gave me. That moment is so vivid in my mind as if it was yesterday.
‘Your Excellency … Do you want to help me?’
‘Edlade.’
‘What?’
‘I don’t allow you to call me Edlade.’
“Still, we had a conversation today.”
Hehe-hehe, a silly laugh leaked out.
I didn’t like Edlade telling me not to stand out tomorrow and the next day.
What if I stand out tomorrow when you won’t even remember it anyway?
He’ll forget what he said to me after midnight.
Yeah, let’s just get close enough that we don’t need to die.
Then I can see him tomorrow.
Edlade, who only remembers only one day, wasn’t scary.
Sorry, Halbert.
I should stop keeping my distance.
“My Lady! My Lady!”
Suddenly, Lasha ran into the greenhouse. She was always calm, so it was a little new for me to make such a fuss about her.
“What’s the matter?”
“A guest has arrived!”
“Without contact?”
“I think I told you that I couldn’t meet without prior notice…”
“Who is it?”
Lasha did not hide her embarrassment.
The way she looked into my eyes as if she didn’t know what to say, I could guess who was the guest.
I thought a lot had changed, but some things haven’t changed after the regression.
“Prince Rayburn has come.”
I was waiting for him anyway.