Chapter 5
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My favorite flowers may not be blooming yet, but I still liked the other flowers, so I wanted to visit the greenhouse as soon as possible.
“I really want to go there.”
“I’ll prepare lunch so you can have it in the greenhouse!”
“Yes, please.”
For breakfast, I filled my stomach with light sandwiches.
Last night, I asked Lasha for this breakfast because I like to eat it with unsweetened tea.
I dozed off while entrusting myself to the maids who came in to help me take a bath just in time.
Soaking in the hot water made it even more difficult to overcome the drowsiness.
It was a body that was too faithful to its instincts.
When I arrived at the office after taking a morning bath and dressed comfortably, Halbert was the first to arrive with a serious face.
“My Lady, good morning.”
“Yes, good morning… … What’s the matter?”
He came into the office early in the morning without permission, meaning it was an urgent concern.
It was not right to find the hostess in the bedroom early in the morning, so it seemed that he rushed to the office.
“Actually, I was going to find you last night, but I didn’t think it was a good idea to meet late at night, so I am discourteous to appear like this early.”
“Yes, It’s fine.”
I sat down on the sofa on one side of the office and motioned for him to sit.
Halbert looked impatient, chewing his dry lips as if he had received a big shock.
“What’s going on?”
“It’s about His Excellency.”
“Did something happen to Edlade?!”
It’s rare for Halbert to show such a nervous look, so I yelled out without realizing it.
Startled, Halbert looked at me with bunny eyes as he did last night.
“Ah, that… well, if it’s work, it’s work…”
Since when did he show such great interest in the partner of forced marriage, his gaze followed.
Oh, I made a mistake.
“It’s a big deal for me if it’s about Edlade’s health. I don’t want to be a widow yet.”
“Ah, yes. Sure.”
Halbert smiled awkwardly and nodded his head.
Then he took a deep breath and slowly opened his mouth.
“His Excellency seems to have a problem with his memory, so I called the doctor last night.”
“You did.”
“From Joanna’s medical findings… Ah, Joanna is the Philemon family’s doctor.”
“Yes.”
“In general, Joanna said there were no major health problems.”
“It’s good.”
“She said His excellency has a small problem with his memory, and it’s just that he is amnesiac for only one.”
“It’s only for one… .”
I can see why Halbert was nervous.
Because I was also so nervous that my fingers were trembling.
The image of Edlade, who has treated me like a stranger after our wedding, flashed past.
‘Maybe not.’ With hope, I waited for his next words.
“He has completely forgotten only the memories related to you, My Lady.”
“……”
“Everything from the day he got married.”
“…..”
“Joanna said it isn’t a temporary memory loss from the shock. It seems that the memory has been completely erased by an inaccessible force rather than a physical one.”
“That’s why I said amnestic.”
“I tested this and that, but except for things related to the Lady… He remembers everything as clear as day.”
Edlade had a great memory.
He never forgot what he saw.
I belatedly realized how much consideration he had for me while pretending not to know.
Now, he says he doesn’t remember me.
No, he says it’s completely erased.
Halbert continued to explain, looking at my face, which must have turned blue.
“Joanna said it was the first time she had ever seen it. I’ve never heard of something like this could happen… …”
“The inaccessible power is… … What?”
…
“I’d like to unravel the intelligence of the family and find out. His Excellency will also allow me to know if someone’s power affected his memory.”
“…… I see.”
No matter how excellent the Philemon family’s intelligence, it seemed impossible to find out.
Maybe the inaccessible great power is the same as the power that brought me back?
Only memories related to me have been completely erased.
So he completely forgot about our marriage.
His attitude, as if he was dealing with strangers for the first time, came to my mind again.
Along with his chilling words that gave me goosebumps, his words ‘Get rid of it’ sounded like tinnitus.
It’s ok, it’s all about rebuilding the relationship.
After all, it was the first day of our wedding.
Because it was an arranged marriage without love, we didn’t know anything.
yeah, it’s okay, I’m okay.
“My Lady !”
“…Uh, huh?”
Halbert woke me up from the daze. He opened his mouth as if he had not finished speaking.
“Not only that.”
Halbert wiped his forehead as if the story he was talking about was the core of the conversation.
Anxiety started from my toes and went up little by little.
It was similar to the feeling that the suffocating darkness I felt the other day was pulling me in.
“Before I came here to talk about last night, I met with His Excellency to discuss what to do in the future.”
“Huh?”
“I met him this morning… … His Excellency didn’t remember about the Lady…”
“… … What, what do you mean?”
He couldn’t remember me from the day of the wedding, so I thought that I should do well in the future.
In the future, we can slowly build up our memories again.
I remembered yesterday when I was allowed to say his name and call him by the name of Edlade. I thought I could build up memories like that.
Nevertheless.
Even though I tried not to tremble, my voice trembled.
Halbert said with a confused look.
“He doesn’t even remember what happened with Lady yesterday.”
“…”
“He didn’t even remember that he was married.”
“That doesn’t make sense…?”
“I’m sorry. I’m really… … It’s my first time experiencing it. Strangely enough, he remembered everything related to the work he had done yesterday, but only about Lady.”
I could understand if Edlade had completely forgotten what had happened before.
Because I can build it again.
However, I can’t believe he forgot that memory again in just one day.
“I have told His Excellency that two days have passed that he is married to My Lady, and last night he was examined by the doctor.”
“… Does he believe it?”
Halbert made a face that couldn’t be gloomier than this.
“He said he would, but he didn’t seem to believe it easily.”
“That’s right.”
Edlade was the head of the most influential family in the Empire.
How could he believe such an unbelievable thing?
It’s hard to believe even for me.
“So what he did today can be forgotten again tomorrow …?”
“…I can’t say for sure, but I expect it to be. Perhaps only about the Lady…..”
I don’t know what kind of force made me return, maybe my earnest desire caused the regression.
It’s my only chance to be forgiven of my mistakes, or my sins.
I want to ask if there is a God.
Did the regression give me another chance?
If not, are you punishing me?
“…….I… I….”
“My Lady. I’m really sorry to say this.”
“……”
“We want you to keep your distance until we see how His Excellency’s condition progresses.”
“……”
This is despair.
Punishment.
Someone was shouting that I will never be forgiven.
“Nevertheless, My Lady is the hostess and duchess of our Philemon family. If His Excellency’s memory returns to normal…… Obviously…….”
“Edlade doesn’t even know me, so will he try to find a memory for me?”
Will Edlade try to find memories for me when he doesn’t even know me?
What am I to him?
I was disappointed.
I laughed in vain.
It was a relationship formed through a political marriage by order of the emperor.
To Edlade, I might mean nothing.
“Edlade can’t even make a connection with me, will he make that effort for me?”
“……”
“To him, I’m just a stranger who doesn’t appear even in his slightest memory.”
“…….. My Lady.”
“He… he won’t try to get close to me, whom he doesn’t even remember.”
I closed my eyes tightly.
I bit my quivering lips hard.
Even if I clenched my fist tightly, it didn’t stop my body from trembling.
How am I supposed to accept this fact?
What kind of nightmare is this?
“You can get it back. Until then, I will explain to His Excellency every day about the Lady.”
“… You are trying to find the cause of an inaccessible strong force, right?”
“I will find it even if His Excellency doesn’t want it.”
“Do you have any reason for that?”
I opened my closed eyes and looked at him.
Halbert had a darker complexion than before, and his expression distorted as if he was in agony.
After hesitating for a while, he answered quietly.
“It’s for Edlade.”
“……”
“Edlade will want to remember you, My Lady.”
“……”
“To him… You’re everything in his memory.”
He didn’t speak those words as Edlade’s vassal but as a friend and family.
I wanted to ask what that meant, but Halbert stood up as if he had no intention of answering.
“I want you to keep your distance for a while because you don’t have to be hurt by His Excellency.”
“……”
“To the present Lord, My Lady is probably the first stranger he sees every day.”
Halbert sighed, ‘His Excellency is most wary of the one he sees for the first time, and the one he hates the most is you.’ He muttered, then nodded at me as a departure.
The office was strangely cold after Halbert left.
I vowed not to cry just yesterday, and the tears fell.
The thick tears dripped on the back of my hand, which was clenching in a fist above my lap.
I bit my lip to prevent the sobs from leaking out.
I didn’t deserve to cry out loud.
Enduring was a thing that I had done well since childhood.
Born as an illegitimate child of the Marquis family, I was bullied and abandoned by my half-brothers.
Holding back the tears was nothing.
“Ugh uhhhhhhhhhh…”
It should have been nothing.
Why does my heart ache so much?
This was undoubtedly a punishment.
‘Lily, are you holding back again? I have told you not to.’
He’s no longer the one who comes to me with a sigh and gently wipes my tears and brushes my biting lips if I am crying.
There was no more hope that I was dreaming about.
This wasn’t a nightmare.
It was a reality given to me.
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