****
The first spring flower ball of my life before my regression was a little terrifying.
For some reason, as soon as Edlade arrived at the ballroom, He disappeared somewhere, and I had to enter with a single tulip flower alone.
The newly married wife entered alone without her husband, so, of course, the gazes were not very good.
There were already rumors that I was a simple woman at first sight, and visiting the ballroom alone gave strength to the rumor.
“Oh my? Aren’t you the Duchess? Why are you here alone?”
“I can’t see your husband… It’s your first event after marriage, did you come here alone?”
“Hoho, I’m sure you didn’t do that.”
It was too natural to look at me with the gaze that I would call mockery.
I didn’t want to attend a place like this, and I resented Edlade for coming with me to a place like this and leaving me behind.
“He, He… came with me.”
“Your Excellency, Duke Philemon, is here with you? Then where is he?”
“You’re so good at making silly excuses! Are you going back to Philemon……”
“Shh! What’s the point of talking about that? Don’t you think we should at least bluff that we’re here together?”
I kept my head down because I was afraid of people’s gaze, and I wanted to cover my ears because I didn’t want to hear what they were saying.
The sharp gazes and ridicule.
I felt naked in front of the gazes of finding fault. They entered by the time the stems of the tulips in their hands were crumpled.
Receiving everyone’s attention with their gorgeous dresses and natural beauty, they approached me without hesitation as they saw me trembling alone.
“I would have told you not to stand out for anything lowly.”
“Mother, do you know what people say because she is lowly?”
“Alas, Scotty. This is the hostess of the Philemon family…… That’s what you should have.”
“huh! How on earth did His Majesty know of her existence and send it to her? No matter how much the imperial family tries to check the duke family, the position ……”
“Shhh, I don’t mean to say things like that, Scotty.”
I never wanted it.
I had no intention of becoming the hostess of the Philemon family. But Scotty thought I had taken her place.
It’s always been like that. Even if I did nothing, it was solely my fault.
Semele, with the tulip in his hand, looked down at me while shaking it and said.
“Being a duke’s mistress does not mean that your lowly veins go anywhere. If you dare to mention that position in front of me… You know well, right?”
“…”
“I feel pity for the duke who was forced to accept a woman like you as a hostess at His Majesty’s order.”
“…”
“If you don’t want to lose, you should pray.”
My complexion was obviously not white, so it must have turned blue.
Losing my reason because of my fear, the only thing in my head was the scene where she said ‘pray’.
I collapsed on the floor.
It was because of the weakness in my legs.
Scotty burst out laughing at the sight, took the champagne from a passerby and poured it over me like she was making a mistake.
A mistake? Was that really acting like a mistake? No, Scotty deliberately poured champagne on me, not caring who was watching.
The slight excitement of going to the ball was thrown to the cold floor.
Maybe I knew
It was a vain hope to have a little bit of joy with the Duke. that it is.
“Oh, my. Scotty. Did you forget where this is?”
Semele scolded, but she wasn’t harsh.
“I’m sorry, mother. I lost the strength in my hand for an instant.”
“Be careful next time.”
Then they moved to the place where the center of socialist should be.
Sitting on the floor and soaking in champagne, I looked miserable and pitiful.
They informed Edlade that such a person was the hostess of the Philemon family, the first family in the empire.
There is no need to be discouraged by the prestige of the duke family, and the Duchess of Philemon is a pathetic being with a low bloodline.
It was shameful. The feeling of insult came all the way to my toes, and I couldn’t even get enough strength into my hands and feet.
I tried to get up, but I had to slip over and over again.
It’s just like a worm struggling on the floor.
Tears came out. Biting my lip, crying, and blushing, I came out of the ballroom as if running away.
It was disappointing.
Two women mocked me and insulted me.
I was also angry with Edlade, who had left me alone.
There’s nothing wrong with him.
Because there was no one else to be angry with.
Growing up in fear from an early age, the young child didn’t even know how to resent those who bullied me.
Just because Edlade is a stranger.
When I think of the reason why I couldn’t even sleep at night because of fear, it was because he was always there.
I just couldn’t help but resent him.
It’s all his fault.
Because he agreed to marry me.
With no power, I can’t resist the Emperor’s orders, but Duke Philemon is different.
I thought it was all Edlade’s fault.
***
At first, I thought that gorgeous blonde hair was much more beautiful than sprinkled with gold powder.
It was a completely different color from mine, and the blue eyes that embraced the sky were so pretty, I couldn’t take my eyes off them.
It reminds me of that time just looking at her face as if a strong first impression had been embedded in my brain.
The woman looked at me and wrinkled her pretty face without mercy.
‘Is it the blood that’s obscure? You have the same face as your mother.’
Several words were meant to me.
Starting with the princess of Buffken, the golden rose of Rayburn, the blue snowflake of the social world.
She has several nicknames, but her name is Semele Rayburn.
She is the wife of Marquis Rayburn and the wife of my father.
She’s gorgeous, her beautiful looks attract people’s attention by wearing a dress that suits her too well.
She’s so flattering that she can’t be considered a mother of three, she was one of the people I feared most in her previous life.
“I thought it smelled disgusting, and a fly came to this place after smelling it.”
She slightly covered the corner of her mouth with a fan decorated with fine fur and glanced at me.
The people present did not know that the words were clearly aimed at me.
No one could make fun of her, the only sister of Prince Wüfken and Marquis Rayburn’s wife.
“My mother’s thoughts about the quality of the ball are like spring flowers. Am I mistaken for a fly’s theme ball?”
Naturally standing next to the Marchioness Semele was her daughter Scotty.
She stared intently at me, and I found it a little funny to see her back.
Scotty, who grew up with the love of her parents, had nothing to fear in the world.
Her maternal uncle was the archduke of Wüfken, Marquis Rayburn was her father, and Semelle, who was the wife of such a family and called the princess of Wüfken, is her mother.
Conzel, the official successor, also adored her so much that Scotty grew up without any fear.
At one time, I was really jealous of it. Even though she was of the same age, she grew up completely differently from me, and I was madly envious.
‘Now that I think about it, it was useless jealousy.’
To wish for the affection of such a family was the biggest poison to me.
After finishing my brief reminiscences, I noticed that their gaze was directed towards me.
“I hope that fly isn’t me, Madam. My husband came with me… wouldn’t he be upset to hear that?”
“…….What?”
Even though I had come prepared, my fingertips were trembling. The fear of being abused since childhood cannot go away overnight.
Nevertheless, I had to overcome fear by chewing the flesh in my mouth. If I shake with fear, can’t say a word, and show cowardness, it’s no different from your past life.
“What are you talking about?”
The ferocious Scotty continued.
Of course, the people around them just watched this exciting situation without saying a word.
Semele stared at me with the gaze of a fly flapping its wings as if struggling to survive.
It was the first time I saw her looking down at me in high-heeled shoes, but she was so used to it.
‘I’m really… scared.’
When I looked in the mirror, I was sure that my face would have turned white.
“Did your excellency come with you?”
It was words filled with the feeling of displeasure.
“No way, mother! There’s no way he’d bring a fly like this to the ball, right? Would he have left her like this if they came together?”
“That too. If you’re lying in front of me… No, that won’t happen, unless you want to go into the prayer room.”
The body quivered automatically at the end.
I clasped my two hands holding the tulips, hoping that my trembling body might catch her eye.
Semelle, who was looking at my hand holding two tulips, not one, slowly turned away.
The gossip around them was also mixed with the exhilarating admiration of the women who had seen Edlade a while ago.
Semele, noticing it quickly, slowly turned her gaze away from me.
“It seems certain that Your Excellency has come here.”
“Mom! with this kind of thing!”
“Scotty.”
At Semele’s low whisper, Scotty withdrew from me with an angry face.
I felt cold sweat running down my back. I was trying not to be nervous, but I couldn’t hide from Semele’s eyes, as she had been watching me for a long time.
“It’s fine, but the fly seems to know my theme.”
Seeing me speechless, they smiled triumphantly and walked towards the center of the banquet hall.
When the blue snowflake of the social world stands, it becomes the center of the banquet.
She led the people as if to prove that they were not wrong.
It wasn’t even a corner place, but the place I was standing in suddenly became the most remote place from them.
I also knew that was what Semele wanted.
The way Scotty glances at me is to check my miserable condition from time to time.
“Sigh…….”
But it wasn’t that shameful.
She didn’t say a word though. Perhaps it was thanks to Edlade who entered with me.
Being with him at the first event meant giving me a little bit of power as a Duchess.
There is no way to run out of the ballroom with my face colored with insults and tears as in your previous life.
I thought it was fortunate that I just made such an insulting remark so that everyone could hear it.
I can’t rebel against them now. There were times when the fear made my body not move as I intended but now was not the time, as I had done with Conzel.
‘But I can’t do this again next time.’
I must not be bound by the Rayburn family shackles forever.
Revenge against them must be done very carefully and secretly.
“I can do it.”
After I habitually mumbled words, I felt as if it was really going to happen.
Although I was in a corner, there were still people glancing at me like Scotty, so I couldn’t give a sadistic slap on the cheek.
“Are you okay?”
An unfamiliar voice came.