TL: flarewk
[Reincarnated type Childhood friend]’s obsession
“Yu Hui.”
“……….”
“Yu Hui?”
“Ah, yes, my apologies. I was daydreaming for a moment.”
After my name was being called out twice, I then regained my senses from amidst deep thoughts.
“Mm…………blurred consciousness, huh? Do you still know who I am? Try calling out my full name.”
Doctor He slightly frowned her eyebrows, as she placed the cigarette that was hung from her mouth onto the ashtray, and focusedly queried me onto my body’s condition.
It must be because of me suddenly daydreaming, which made her thought that I’ve relapsed again. I once again made someone worry about me already, I’m really such a………..
Hastily unveiling out a smile, I displayed out a look of energetic POWER appearance as I replied.
“I’m fine, my consciousness is very clear. You’re the psychiatry’s He Meng Yu, Doctor He, right. I’m really sorry, as I’m thinking about other things just now.”
(TL: Her “you” towards Doctor He is in the polite respectful form, a “您”)
Doctor didn’t say anything, only kept staring at my eyes, and after a while picked up the cigarette on the ashtray and hung it on her mouth once more.
The ash tray was very clean, and as the hospital forbids smoking, Doctor He didn’t light up this cigarette, but merely dangled it.
Always an appearance of sleep deprivation; having very thick dark circles; dangling a cigarette, these were Doctor He Meng Yu’s three traits.
“Mm………..looks like it’s indeed fine already. Well then, from today onwards, you’re finally not required to periodically come look for this aunt of yours then.”
(TL: The aunt here wasn’t really referring to being her real aunt, it’s just a friendly way of addressing oneself closely)
“This is all due to your hard work.”
Doctor He wasn’t rather confident towards herself, often self-mocking that she’s already a yellow-faced wife*.
But she’s clearly a beauty from what I could see. Her figure’s so perfect to the point where it made people envy, with a slight dolling up, she’ll definitely be able to attract the gazes of men. Along with the title of Doctor, there unquestionably would be many people chasing after her by right, so I really don’t understand what’s there to be feeling so inferior about.
“Uuu………..but I didn’t help out in anything at all, in the end, up to the very final moment, I couldn’t help out to cure your sickness.”
“No, if it’s not you helping me to control the duration of its relapse, it’s impossible for me to peacefully go though these few years.”
“Mm…………but I at most could only help up to that sort of level.”
“That’s already a heavenly great gratitude, I’ll definitely repay you.”
“You don’t need to………..but Yu Hui, it’s really quite a rare sight to see you actively daydream, do you have someone that you liked?”
Someone that I liked………..huh?
“…………Perhaps.”
“Is it, well then, work hard on it, it’s also not an easy task for you to be able to enjoy your youth.”
Doctor paused for a while before continuing to speak.
“Consider this from a person who had experienced it before………..once, there were two chances placed right in front of me. But I didn’t properly grab onto them, so if you really have someone that you like, don’t bother about anything else and just proactively go for it, if not when the time comes, it’ll be too late for regrets already…………”
“I see………..Doctor, you weren’t able to be together with the person you liked?”
“Mm………..the person I liked had already been married for 10 plus years already………..his children are already as big as you, with a blissful happy family too.”
“I see………..”
Somehow, I’m able to understand a little of Doctor’s melancholic feelings, because my situation’s slightly similar somewhat…………as he already had a girlfriend…………
Knock, knock knock.
Knocking sounds that disrupted the silence emanated, and Doctor He absentmindedly shouted out a ‘Come in’.
A strict-looking middle aged man pushed open the door and walked in.
“An, An-zhǔrèn! Why did you come over!”
(TL: ^ suffix refers to head doctor or something)
Doctor He who was still in a cross-legged sitting position earlier, upon seeing the incoming person frantically stood up. The cigarette that was dangling on her mouth fell onto the floor, her eyes gaping wider than usual slightly, and even made a great show of tidying her clothing.
This was still my first time that I saw that Doctor He being so panicky. I remembered when the hospital director came to look for her last time, she didn’t even stand up from her seat, and had a rather casual attitude also………..don’t tell me that this sharp-eyed male doctor was Doctor He’s target of affection?
He looked a little similar to him too………..
“There’s still a patient here? Then later on I’ll once again………..”
“Ah, it’s alright, the diagnosis have already ended. Then Doctor He, I’ll first head on back.”
“Mn? Ah, ahh, then Yu Hui, be careful on your way back, if there’s anything just give me a call anytime.”
“Alright, I got it. Well then, I’ll take my leave first.”
After nodding my head and bading farewell, I pushed open the door and left the room. That place shall be left for Doctor to be alone together with him then.
Even though the person that she liked had already married and had children for so many years already, Doctor He still was unable to forget, huh………..that’s true, being unable to forget was then the normal thing to happen………..
Walking on the way back to school, my brain wasn’t feeling any sort of giddiness anymore. Although daddy unveiled a face of concern as he suggested to drive and pick me up, but it was being rejected by me. The me right now was fine already; capable of properly being mindful of the traffic lights color changes and the passing by cars, being able to go out by myself.
Recently, my thoughts became more and more clear already.
I won’t once again become sleepy without a reason already.
Able to remember many things already.
And also won’t suddenly fall asleep already.
My lifestyle changed into having no difference compared to a normal person’s.
Father and Mother were delighted to tears, saying that it’s my narcolepsy being finally cured.
(TL: narcolepsy is an excessive sleeping disorder. wiki link here)
It’s really been hard on them…………ever since I relapsed from middle school until now, they had always taken care of me as their utmost priority. I can’t find any words to express out my gratitude towards them.
When I had just graduated into middle school, I suddenly acquired a bizarre illness.
Unable to stay awake.
Cannot help myself from sleeping.
A huge portion of an entire day spent sleeping.
The most serious situation previously lasted continually for 5, 6 days.
Because it would be very dangerous when I fell asleep on the road while walking normally, hence there’s a long period of time that I was studying at home. Afterwards, under Doctor He’s help, I barely managed to stay wide awake for a period of time during the day. Under the circumstances of daddy helping to send me to and fro to school, I was able to attend classes then, although there’s still more than half the time being spent in the infirmary sleeping.
The entire 3 years of middle school, it could be said that I had spent it mostly within my dreams.
And afterwards, when I entered high school, my illness finally turned for the better.
Doctor He ultimately didn’t knew about the reason on why my relapsing illness which lasted for a whole 3 years suddenly recovering, and it made the keen Doctor He to always be very attentive and concerned about me.
But I finally understood what was going on. It’s only because the extremely long ‘dream’ had finally been finished.
Starting from when I became drowsy, what followed next was a sort of dream that seemed to have lasted for quite a few lifetimes.
In different eras, I possessed different statuses, and experienced many different things, repetitively meeting and parting with familiar people…………
(TL: the status here refers to the person’s title being what and what. e.g. Doctor He’s a doctor, and I am a translator.)
I started to be unable to distinguish who I was exactly, with my self awareness turning hazy, memories incomparably chaotic; unabling to differentiate between dreams and reality.
Why was it me who just so happen to encounter onto this sort of things?
When I occasionally woke up, I would always be lost within such resenting emotions.
Not only did it stole away my time, it even made the things that I could do so pitiably less, and it even made me live on ambiguously. Even my presence on being alive weren’t being able to be felt rather alive at all. Everyday, I could only sleep, sleep, and sleep nonstop…………it’s basically no different from corpses, right?
Then I may as well just die…………why would I dream onto these stuff that had nothing to do with me at all?
Not understanding, being confused, being incomparably vexed.
Becoming troubled just for these unrealistic falsified memories, it’s really idiotic to the max already.
All the way till I met him once again.
Like being awake from a dream, I instantly became enlightened.
I originally thought that it was merely a dream.
I originally thought that it was merely an illusion.
I originally thought that it was merely all falsified delusions.
Merely a false virtual scenario that was being proactively created by my brain while I was sleeping.
But when I met him, the instance I saw him I then understood. Those were real, were things that I had experienced before, were things that belonged to my life, were memories that had been accumulated after I experienced 9 cycles of reincarnation.
When I saw him, those cluttered memories and agitated feelings all became neatly arranged, as ‘these girls’ all stood behind me.
I’m able to be satisfied just by seemingly only being able to look at him.
That, was being carved into my very soul, those feelings that were about to spill out.
I understood the purpose of my existence. Each of my cycles was only all because for him, it’s merely just for the sake of staying by his side; sometimes being his lover, sometimes his daughter, sometimes his wife, sometimes his sister…………no matter what status it was, I only always wanted to stay by his side.
And in this lifetime, I’m a childhood friend that knew him when we were young.
Lifetimes and lifetimes of memories in the form of dreams appeared within my thoughts, and after I experienced the 9th cycle of ‘a lifetime’, the memories halted abruptly.
The extremely lengthy dream had finally ended.
I couldn’t help bursting out into tears.
The dream had ended, it’s time to face reality already.
Afterwards, the memories from my previous lifetimes became more and more blurred, as if it really was like a dream as it gradually became forgotten by me, and only memories regarding him were like a recording tape being preserved within my mind.
I understood the meaning of that.
——Next up, it’s your turn.
She, she, all of those girls told me as such.
Just like as if they had completely entrusted onto me.
Throwing all of those regretted, unfinished, lamentful things completely unreasonably towards me; it’s extremely heavy yet at the same time having no choice but to oblige.
That lifetime, you’re a demonic tyrant, both hands bloodied over the fighting of the central throne, yet for my sake you sacrificed your life to the Yellow River.
That lifetime, you’re a prince, commanding over the entire world with absolute authority over it, yet for my sake you didn’t wed anyone throughout your entire lifespan.
That lifetime, you’re a physician, compassionately saving the dead and curing the incurable with your incomparably powerful skills, yet for my sake you became completely terminally sick and handicapped.
That lifetime, you’re a daoist, painstakingly cultivated in search for the Dao, yet for my sake you gave up Dao and returned back to your original state.
That lifetime, you’re a merchant, possessing infinite wealthiness coupled with glory and splendor, yet for my sake dispersed off all your riches.
That lifetime, you’re a chivalrous hero, wandering throughout the entire brotherhood realm aiding justice*, yet for my sake secluded yourself in the mountains.
That lifetime, you’re a war general, accomplishing battles everywhere with a fully gold-plated war horse, yet for my sake tearily withdrew your army.
That lifetime, you’re a prodigy, unconventionally suavely talented having great loveships in your life, yet for my sake woke up from your delusions at the very critical moment.
That lifetime, you’re a scholar, champion of the imperial scholarships becoming renowned throughout, yet for my sake gave it up and returned to being a farmer.
Nine cycles of reincarnation, I originally thought that our fates had already been completely diminished, but I didn’t expect to meet you once again.
The rebirth of this cycle, in this blanket of fate, I finally wasn’t being able to be matched to you.
You seemingly had already forgot about me, and by your side there’s other people as well. Was it because of the previous nine cycles of reincarnation, which caused you to never want to meet me, who had caused you so much anguish…………
This lifetime, I met you during my peak of my youth; it must be the Creator’s decreed on wanting me to reward you for your persistence.
He who came to my side was known as An Jun Cheng.
“If you, a gentleman treat me sincerely, I, equally won’t treat you naught as well, huh………..”
Then I’ll also treat him sincerely in return, believing that he, a gentleman won’t let me down.
“Yes, please leave it to me………..I’ll protect Jun Cheng-dàren.”
He wasn’t obsessed with me anymore, but it doesn’t matter. He forked out so much just for my sake, so it’s time for me to fork out in return.
“Using my entire life to protect.”
This is my, and ‘our’ common obsession.
An obsession that is unable to be severed off in any way.
This lifetime of Yu Hui will definitely belong to you, Jun Cheng-dàren………..