Karen Haier had already acknowledged that she was crazy.
This meant that the fact couldn’t make any new twist. She kept in her mind that there was no way for a person to live in a stagnant time for over 100 years to have a sane mind and she suffered such thoughts from Delusion.
If she lost her spirit in the query for the truth, she would not be able to do anything more. This was why she did not panic when she realized that the corpse was missing.
“.….How dare.”
Rather it was rage.
It was mine! Who dares to do such a thing! How can they act this cruel! Why are you no fun?!?
Karen wanted to see Isela faint because she was scared. Isela being overwhelmed by real dread, and not thorny and mean because of a man. Face hideously distorted with shock as she begged while her body was suspended from a rope. Just like me! But who, who interrupted me? When nothing was revealed or hinted??
Karen raged towards that unknown person and after that she collected herself.
Was it God or someone else? If it was not done by external factors and she was hallucinating, then she herself must be punished. The one to blame is her mind itself. She felt angry at herself.
Thump!
She hit her head hard on the wall.
She felt the pain as the blood trickled down her face. If she was really crazy, then she wanted to have fantasies about what she wanted to see. If all of these were really her hallucinations or her delusions, then the punishment she can give to herself was only self harm.
Bang!
She felt the skin on her forehead tear. She wants to end herself like this. If so, then she will be back to that very same garden. No, she has never succeeded, rather, she would lay in a bed for a year and return back to the same time period.
She had been sinking into the black sea for more than a 100 years. Karen felt like she was dreaming as she fell into endless abysses with a rock tied to her neck. An illusion in space where all her emotion, philosophy and troubles, everything disappeared. Anyway it was good. Noce of these hypotheses no longer held any meaning to her now.
Everything in front of her turned out to be for naught. Whether there are some hints hidden somewhere or the cat in the box actually or not [E/N: I think the author is referring to the Schrodinger’s cat], or if the cave was dark or cloudy! Her current nervousness, frustration and despair was all that she knew now. The only reality she knew of, which was the unknown memory of whether these 100s of years, strangled her as she did not know if it was an illusion or not.
Drip.
With the continuous flow of blood, her mind felt clear and the agitation within her subsided.
“Da…damn it.”
Blood flowed from her head. As she walked along the hallway, her tears fell with the rhythm of rain.
All that can die should just die.
Please.
I will kill everyone I can.
Then no one will be able to kill me this time.
Set fire. Then all this would burn down. But whether this is her delusion or the rules, she just wanted to move forward as it was all nothing. What about killing a whole family? She really wanted to see it, but who was actually hindering her?
Next time, she would kill Nancy and stay in Isela’s room to keep watch. Yes, she can do that. But she won’t be able to keep the promise of getting killed by Nancy’s hands.
“Agassi?”
“.……”
“Are you hurt?”
“.…I fell down.”
Attendant Bowen showed a panicked face and it took some time for him to school his expression. Seeing Bowen in the hallway where there should be no one, Karen realized that it was not early in the morning anymore. Beyond the window she saw rays of light that shined from the horizon. Quite some time passed. She was bothered by the servants that walked around. Karen knocked off the hand that he placed on her. She just wanted to sleep.
“It’s bleeding.”
“I know.”
“.…Your face is pale.”
What a bother.
With a flushed face, Bowen took hold of Karen’s hand again. Presumptuous thought Karen as she frowned. So he also held some feelings towards her. In her current state of mind, she had no care for the lust and feelings of these men.
“Huh, ca..can’t hit him.” She heard a familiar, stuttering voice.
Just look at this. As expected, bothersome. Karen shook off the stiff Bowen again. Dulan had gotten ready to head off for the early morning mass. Bowen hurriedly bent his back in a bow.
“Miss Isela won’t be able to attend the morning breakfast so make arrangements to bring it to her room. Also I will be playing Cembalo in the morning. When Miss Isela wakes up, bring her to the music room.” Karen hurriedly gave some orders to the red faced Bowen and sent him off. If he stayed here longer, the more Dulan would dawdle. So tiresome. Kren slightly massaged her aching forehead.
“Why,did you cover for him?”
“Do you want me to do it?”
Snap.
If you want to be jealous, do it properly. What a tedious guy. In the end, he knew that the servant took hold of her hand because of his worry for Karen but he could only say words like ‘How dare you to my fiance’! and get jealous. In the end he just shot a dope arrow at Karen. Even in comparison to the servant, there was no improvement to his grumpy behaviour towards his fiance.
“Go quickly. I want to look for the ointment in your room and you can sleep after I apply it for you. Is your room locked?”
“N . . No.”
“Got it.”
Dulan held on to Karen as he led her to her room.
“I know where it is.”
“… you have never studied medicine.”
I have learned much more than you. But there was no way for Karen to prove it, so she kept her mouth closed. Dulan with her hand in his hand, headed towards her room. When she saw his face, she couldn’t say ‘Why don’t you just go to your morning mass?’. He made up his mind to take care and bandage his hurt fiancee. Karen sighed. What to do? It looked like he wanted to even score with her. This really was going to be tiresome.
“.….It’s not with you….”
“Shh.”
He was flustered.
Karen tapped at the flustered Dulan. She shouldn’t have made a relationship with him that time. It was regretful, but there is no way for her to know this.
“.…painful.”
“.…..”
When it hurts, how can I say it was just fine? How can you not have more sympathy for me? Tsk. Dulan applied the ointment and medicinal herbs on her forehead with a straight face. It was enough to do a face pack.