Now that they had broken up, there was no one to say anything if he smoked. But Tae-wan couldn’t bring himself to light the cigarette.
He had tried to light it once, but failed. The hand that was holding the lit lighter rose, but then fell. He felt that if he smoked, then it was really over.
A dark shadow fell over Taewan’s slender face. A winter breeze passed over him. It was cold, but he couldn’t even move. There’s nothing easy going back home or smoking a cigarette.
“It’s cold. Come on, let’s go.”
Another person’s voice came in the winter wind. Normally, he would have hurried to move in case other people would notice him, but Tae-Wan didn’t move.
It seemed like it wouldn’t matter now if anyone saw him.
“I’m fine. Let’s go slowly. It’s good to walk hand in hand on a cold day.”
“Still.”
He didn’t intend to listen, but the surroundings were quiet so he could hear their conversation.
The man was urging to get home,and the woman was urging to stay a little longer.
“You don’t like being with me?” The woman said, as if complaining.
“No. But it’s cold, and you might catch a cold. I’m going to make a lot of money and buy a car. That way, you won’t have to go out on a date while it’s cold.” the man said in an apologetic tone.
“No. I am okay. You can’t get into the habit of already driving a car. Besides, if you walk slowly, we can be together longer. And I could buy a car first. Why are you sorry about that?” the man laughed as if in apology, as the woman’s voice sounded with laughter.
He heard the sound of them passing by, while talking about the weather.
Hayeon also told him that it was okay, but she was sorry she couldn’t do it all the time.
“I am not sorry. It’s natural.”
“OK. We can do it together.”
“It’s not cold. In the future, we will remember this day in winter when the cold wind blows. When we walked on the street because we were twenty-three and didn’t have money to ride the bus.” Na Ha-yeon spoke. She was always smiling, as if it was okay.
Tae-wan, sitting on the bench behind the pillar, bit the end of the cigarette with his teeth.
The end would burst if he bit too hard. The smell of cigarettes spread into his mouth. Tae-wan’s eyes darkened. Hayeon always said she was okay, even if she was nervous.
He didn’t like to say or hear about being okay. The difficult and poor years were the highlighted to others, but to him they were stupid. He didn’t want to let Ha-yeon experience that life at all. He didn’t want to let his loved one handle too many things because they loved each other.
However, there was a limit to how much he could do. And Ha Yeon watched the difficult times silently. He took the lead so that he could overcome it.
At his grandmother’s funeral, Ha-yeon stayed with his family for three days. The empty funeral hall, where even relatives don’t visit, was boring, but she didn’t express it once.
It was also she who paid a large amount of condolences with an unnamed envelope. He was angry and didn’t want to accept it, but Ha-yeon said it wasn’t her.
“It’s not me.”
“Then who is it? It’s obviously not the people who had already come and gone, so who else is it other than you?”
“Someone who knows you. Not really.” She just said so and shook her head to the end.
Tae-wan was convinced it was Ha-yeon, but he couldn’t return the envelope. He didn’t have enough money to pay for the funeral. But in the unnamed envelope was the rest of the amount he needed
It wasn’t until a few years later that he realized that money in the envelope was the money that Ha-yeon had saved for a long time while working.
He only found out when he was looking at Hayeon’s bankbook when it was lying in her drawer by chance.
The amount withdrawn on the day his grandmother’s funeral ended was exactly the same as the amount on the unnamed envelope. After the funeral, he was unable to throw away the white envelope without the name on it.
Instead, he put it deep in his desk. Closing the drawer, he pledged. Let’s never be someone like your own parents. If you love them, you have to let that person enjoy life to their heart’s content. Let Ha-yeon live never knowing about poverty.
He worked at his best. So, as if in return, some income followed.
He first found a spacious apartment. He wished there was a house where Ha-yeon could live comfortably.
Hayeon was happy, it was as if he had just bought a house. It was just a slightly wider house… Nevertheless, he was happy to know that he could do something for Ha-yeon.
So he laughed for a few days and fell asleep. That’s enough. Let’s expand it step by step like this and live in a stable way.
Tae-wan planned to rent an apartment in a spacious officetel. And when they get married. He thought it would be nice if the house was spacious and had room for children, a life without debt.
When the time comes, they could hold hands and go on a trip together. And if there was something they wanted to eat, they could go to a restaurant without worrying.
He wanted to enjoy life with Hayeon. It was during the time he was gaining recognition and was working as a supporting actor.