I definitely didn’t want to die. It was a thought all living things most likely had, but I was a bit more desperate than others.
‘I’ve already died once.’
The memory of the moment of death remained so clear in my head that I couldn’t even deny it. The doctors’ footsteps, the machines’ noises, and the people around them whispering about what to do. Then the view became dark. The doctors stopped talking as the machine beeped and lowered in volume. Then came the silence and the world of perfect nothingness.
Just thinking about the fearful and depressing moment brought suffocation and tears.
‘Also…’
I jumped lightly. I moved my arms and legs around as well. My body was moving as I wished. This was an extremely unfamiliar sensation for me.
All this time, I had to be careful every time I took a step, and I couldn’t even imagine being able to run. But Yvelina’s body, which I was in right now, was healthiness itself.
This was very enjoyable and precious to me. What I’d always wanted in the hospital was this. Effortlessly being able to go to the places I want with my own feet. I was so envious of how everyone was able to move around as if it were a given.
I looked in the mirror again. I saw Yvelina, who had a beautiful face, bright blonde hair, and blue eyes.
I knew I was an intruder who trespassed into this body. So I was definitely going to be kicked out one day.
‘But I can’t just use it as I please.’
Even the ease of breathing at every moment in this body was something I was grateful for. So although I know the body will die 2 years later, I can’t use it as I please. I couldn’t be sure when Yvelina’s consciousness would return, but I wanted to return her body to her safely if I could. It would be better if it was alive, too.
‘Thankfully, I remember the contents of the book, and I have Yvelina’s memories as well.’
It was a fortune among misfortunes that I had access to Yvelina’s memories.
So I didn’t have to say things like ‘Where is this? Who are you?’ because I knew who the people next to me were, and how the temple worked.
‘But there’s another problem.’
The memories were way too clear. Thanks to that, I was able to know what Yvelina had been doing before I transmigrated into this body.
“What should I do…”
I approached the mirror while mumbling and sighing. The clothes I was wearing right now were a Saintess’ normal robes that gave off a very calm, pure, and holy image. There was fancy golden embroidery all over the pure white robe. I held the collar of the robe and pulled it down.
The skin showing above the robe was smooth, fair skin without a single mark, but the same could not be said for the skin beneath the robe.
It wasn’t just red. There were blue bruises that looked like handprints all over the body. Not only that, but there were teeth marks all over the chest.
I had never done anything for marks like these to be left on my body. But “Yvelina” was different.
“…What were you thinking?”
I murmured while looking in the mirror. After I had woken up, I dismissed everyone and confirmed what had happened to me. At that time, I had a splitting headache and Yvelina’s memories popped into my mind. Before I had possessed her body, Yvelina had gone to bed. Not by herself, but with a few others. Yvelina and two men, to be exact.
“She’s crazy…”
The three of them did things beyond my moral understanding. I pressed my head as I recalled my memories. I’d thought that she sure was amazing when reading the novel, but I never imagined I would see such vivid traces of her actions.
Of course, she was free to live her life as she pleased, but Yvelina was a Saintess. In this novel, a Saintess didn’t have to follow a suffocating rule that banned her from even meeting eye to eye with a man or anything, but she was someone who definitely should’ve been living an exemplary life and getting respected by others. And of course, Yvelina’s lifestyle was far from it.
‘No wonder no one was on your side later on.’
When time passed and the real Saintess Iris appeared, there was no one by Yvelina’s side. Even the men who had spent many nights with her. When I was reading, I had merely thought of it as the villainess’ miserable words, but I felt despondent now that I’ve become that Yvelina. When I looked into my memories, I saw that Yvelina didn’t just end it at sleeping with them.
‘Jewels, mansions, status…’
I remembered all the things she gave to the men she slept with. She gave quite a lot to them.
‘But not a single one was on her side, and just ran away.’
That wasn’t all. From what I’ve read, some of the people who had been in a relationship with Yvelina began clinging onto Iris after her appearance, claiming they had ‘finally found their true love’. Of course, these men were all immediately taken care of by the three male leads.
I mumbled again while looking at the mirror.
“…Your life is quite pitiful as well.’
I fixed my clothes and opened the door that was attached to the room that looked like a huge living room. Then I saw a study full of books. I say study, but all the shelves made it look like a library instead. I sat down at the desk, thinking ‘so these are the things a Saintess can have’.
“Let’s summarize the situation for now.”
I quickly found a sheet of paper and a pen. I thought it would be good to summarize the current situation and what’s happened up till now if I wanted to think about what I needed to do from now on.
To be honest, I was planning on running away as soon as I figured out the situation. I was hoping I’d be able to escape from the future I read in the book by doing so. But when I thought about it carefully, I realized that it wasn’t a good idea.
What would happen if I were to run away like this? Although I may be a pain in the foot right now, the current Saintess is Yvelina. The Grand Temple would be thrown into chaos.
‘Even if I have her memories, it doesn’t mean I know this world well.’
Yvelina’s memories were limited to her life within the temple. She had come to the Grand Temple when she was very young, so she didn’t know much about the outside world.
Even if I ran away in this situation, would I be able to do it well? The temple’s army would probably find me after a few days.
‘If that happens…’
I could imagine how the people would point fingers and talk about me. They would think that the Saintess, who had been acting out of control, has finally done it and is causing troubles outside of the temple as well. My reputation, which was already at rock bottom, would only fall even more.
‘And it’s not like Yvelina’s misdeeds will disappear even if I run away now.’
I thought of all the evil deeds Yvelina committed in the novel.
“Haa…”
I couldn’t help but sigh. There were many things that Yvelina had done wrong. She was a Saintess who acted as she pleased, so she would send any priest who corrected her to a faraway temple in a dangerous area, and she used the property of the temple she stayed in as she pleased. On top of it, if the priests who served her made the smallest mistake, she raised her hand against them and didn’t hesitate to insult them harshly. Even so, no one could say anything to her because she was the Saintess.
‘At least she hasn’t killed anyone yet.’
Right now was 2 years before Iris appeared.
It was only when rumors of Iris began spreading that Yvelina began pointing out all sorts of faults in people and executing them.
‘If that’s the case… wouldn’t I be able to fix what Yvelina has done if i work hard from now on?’
If her misdeeds won’t disappear from me running away, maybe I should stay and try fixing her mistakes from the past, was what I thought.
When Yvelina met a miserable ending in the book, no one stood up for her. But I felt like things could change in 2 years if I tried to console and turn back the people’s hearts from now on.
‘Also, Iris and the three male leads…’
I wrote down the four of their names on the paper.
Iris. Latban. Leon. Aslan.
‘I think I can improve my relationship with these four if I work hard, too.’
In the book, Yvelina practically had a seizure anytime someone mentioned Iris’ name. This was why she commanded for Iris to be killed immediately when Iris arrived at the temple. What would happen if Iris appeared and I greeted her happily?
‘…Wouldn’t I be able to get through it safely then?’
In the book, Iris was someone who tried to understand Yvelina till the end. No, if you think about it, she was the only one on Yvelina’s side. Since she was like that, if I worked hard, we would definitely have a good relationship.
‘It’s the same with the three male leads.’
It was the three of them that killed Yvelina in the book. It was because Yvelina had tried to murder Iris. But if I became friends with the three of them from now on and just gave away the Saintess position and everything to Iris and promised to never appear again, what would happen?
‘There would be no problems then.’
The three of them acted for Iris. So if I showed them I didn’t plan on harming her in any way and maintained a good relationship with her, the three of them wouldn’t go out of their way to kill me either.
‘The problem is…’
I looked at the three male leads’ names with worry.
‘I already have terrible relationships with these three.’
Right now, that was the biggest problem.
First, the commander of the temple’s army, Latban. Out of the three, he hated Yvelina the most, as of right now. It was no wonder, since Latban was someone who had to serve the Saintess without question, according to the rules. But how could he have a good opinion on the Saintess when she was so corrupted instead of sacrificing for everyone and using God’s power like she should?
‘And it was just a while ago that their relationship had become broken beyond repair.’
I began recalling the incident where Yvelina and Latban had begun becoming estranged to each other.