The poisonous mushroom incident in the slums before the reversion, this woman was one of the victims. She went up to the mountain with the children of the slums, she was mistaken for edible mushrooms and shared with the children before went down.
The bright smile she gave after I saved the life of the children still remained clear in my memory.
“I see. Unfortunately, you aren’t the one I’m looking for. Do you know someone with a similar appearance? She has more red hair and dark golden eyes.”
She shook her head saying she didn’t know. My eyes were sagging. I was so disappointed that she wasn’t the person I was looking for, and I felt guilty too.
“I’m sorry I made you come here in vain.”
“No. It’s an honor to see the Prospective Saint like this.”
I smiled brightly after I received the wildflower that she extruded again.
“Thank you. I’ll dry and keep it.”
“Excuse me, by any chance, can you give me the Saint’s blessing? I’m looking for a job as a waitress in a restaurant, I really want to stick to it.”
I hesitated for a moment. I’m a fake Saint, so I couldn’t fulfill her wish. But, what this woman needed may not be the blessing of divine power.
“Sure. Can you tell me your name?”
“It’s Lyra!”
I embraced the woman. Then I put my hand on her head.
“I’m sure you’ll be able to live a better life doing what Lyra wants. May the glory of God always with every step Lyra takes.”
Lyra opened the door of my prayer room with a brighter face than anyone in the world. I immediately called Sir Solar.
“I’m sorry but can you accompany her to the entrance? She could be humiliated by the nobles.”
Sir Solar’s attitude certainly seemed to have changed. It must have been true that he bragged about me. Unlike yesterday, Sir Solar didn’t frown at my request. Instead, he answered clearly.
“It’s not even a difficult job. I’ll be right back.”
I closed the door of the prayer room and sighed. Then, I noticed the folded robe that Astein put on me yesterday.
“Aren’t you coming today?”
I picked up the robe. I was a little disappointed. My hands swept the robe. I was looking forward to seeing him every day.
“I’m here to get my robe.”
A calm voice was heard. I turned myself and hardened. Astein’s purple eyes gleamed in the dark.
However, my heart was a little bit hurt.
I’d never seen him being cold to me like that. I wondered for a long time if I had done something wrong with him. But I thought I hadn’t.
“Here… thank you.”
He accepted his robe without speaking. Then, he turned around.
Was this a little shocking? Tears were slightly on my eyes. But I swallowed it.
Then, he turned back again.
His eyes were still cold. And his voice seemed to hold back from trembling, it sounded like holding up anger.
“How long are you going to stay in Marquis Futor’s mansion?”
“Pardon…?”
“Isn’t a Saint supposed to belong to any family of priests?”
Officially it was. It was kept until a few generations ago. But not now.
Why did he suddenly say this to me?
I put off my answer for a while and bowed. What I saw then was the clenched fist of Astein. His hands were shaking.
When I saw it, a picture overlapped my mind. What happened that night, when the real saint was found.
༻✿༺
A while ago, my father visited me. He put poison in my hand. I was abandoned by Marquis Futor tonight.
On a cold winter night when the moon didn’t even rise, I took the poison and headed for the garden. The one who followed me was Astein.
“Sir Astein, you may go back now. I want to be alone for a while.”
“Saint!”
Astein kneeled.
“If the Saint commands me, I can remove anyone who stands in your way.”
He continued to scream with a depressed voice without raising his head.
“If you want, I can take you anywhere, I can do anything, so just tell me. I have that ability.”
His hands held so tight that the tendon rose. It was like knowing everything and getting angry instead. That alone gave me great strength.
It was hard to hold back emotions. But it was harder to turn away from him.
“No. I’ll be here as a Saint as I am now.”
I quietly spilled the poison on the ground. Astein shouldn’t know.
“Saint…”
“So, please always stay with me as you are.”
I couldn’t do him a bad favor. Because I couldn’t let my bad luck life splash on someone who shone like Astein.
༻✿༺
“That’s right. Thanks for the advice. I’m going to tell my father soon and move to the temple.”
I didn’t want to let Astein jump into the fire. So I had to be a little wiser. If it’s with the Marquis, the width of the luck would be wider.
“Are you serious? Can you promise me?”
His cracked voice was a little touching. His eyes on my scarf still filled with anger.
He was always the same then and now.
“I still have things to sort out. So I’ll move from the mansion a little while later.”
“What’s going on? I can help.”
The sincere heart from his voice touched me constantly. A man who was always consistent with me, even now.
“It’s my job to do it myself.”
But I couldn’t just rely on Astein forever. If I didn’t change, the tragedy would repeat again.
“But…!”
“More than that, please look at this.”
I took out a small pocket and showed him what the Marquis dropped yesterday.
“You know what is this?”
He sighed softly.
Then, after he received the pocket from me, he smelled it and rubbed the powder. His forehead narrowed sharply. His facial expression wasn’t good.
“It’s gunpowder.”
“Gunpowder?”
“I came from the eastern continent. It’s a substance that can cause an explosion if you light it.”
At one point, Astein set me up with the fact that I searched through the books all night and couldn’t find it.
“It’s imported from the Dark Guild and used to make weapons of mass destruction.”
“A place like Blue Rose?”
In my question, Astein’s eyebrows shook. He tried to give me a casual correction.
“Blue Rose isn’t a dark guild, unlike what is known in the world.”
“But they say they would do anything if they were given money.”
My voice was a little blurred. I couldn’t give a random answer.
“These are the ones who took the poor children who were going through the slums, found them for money, and pushed them into hell.”
“The Blue Rose did it…?”
It was unbelievable. After I heard the story from the Marquis yesterday, I remembered something in the slums.
A child whose parents weren’t even known, a child that no one protected. A child who was taken out of the slums by the misconception of a small divine power as an evil force.
That was me.
[Little girl, I’ll walk you to the orphanage.]
I was led by an old man who I couldn’t even remember his face.
“Yes, I’m sure they did it.”
I thought it was a blessing. I was really grateful that day. However, now I had a grudge against the man who could’ve been Blue Rose’s member.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, of course.”
Astein closed his mouth slightly. His eyes felt a bit thinner.
“Lady Freya, you hate them.”
I didn’t answer it.
Suddenly, the words of the Saint came to mind.
Don’t express negative feelings towards someone.
It was something to keep even if I wasn’t a Saint. I might already have a sore throat, but I couldn’t look angry anymore.
“This isn’t made by Blue Rose,” Astein answered quietly, broke the silence I made.
By the way, it was strange. It happened last time.
“How can you be sure?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
I was a very selfish person. I also had a lot to hide from him, and I wanted him to tell me everything.
We were originally at a reasonable distance.
Right before the reversion, those days were strange. They were very friendly and gave me gifts.
“Do you feel uncomfortable with your hands?”
Unconsciously, I groped for my bracelet. When Astein saw it, he asked me right away.
The question melted in my heart. His interests, big or small, had always been good.
“No, I don’t. If it’s not Blue Rose, can you tell me who made it? Oh, and my father had yellow carnations on his chest. Are they related?”
“I don’t know. We have to investigate. It must have been a dark deal. It’s a dangerous item that isn’t yet officially handled by the Imperial family.”
“It’s a big deal…. my father… is going to use this to harm the Grand Duke at the Imperial banquet.”
In my words, Astein was lost in thought. The eyes that looked at me were mysterious. He asked me after a little while.
“How can you keep me informed of the Marquis’s plans? Wouldn’t it be dangerous? Is that why you won’t be coming out of the Marquis’ mansion?”
I didn’t know he would ask me those questions. I thought he would ask why the Marquis was rebellious and why I kept telling him his plans.
“I can protect myself well, so Lady Freya, please keep yourself safe.”
I felt a little frustrated.
He never understood my impatience. He died because of me, and now he was in danger of dying because of me.
“But he’s not going to give up. He failed to make a connection with Blue Rose, but he completed his request elsewhere. I think Your Excellency thinks that’s okay to die whether or not you become a paladin. This is the only thing I can do to help….”
“No. You can’t do this because you can’t betray the Marquis.”
“Grand Duke…”
“That’s enough. The kindness you gave yesterday, isn’t that Lady’s Freya’s position?”
Since the Emperor was involved, there was no room for help. This was the only way I could help him without any power.
When I heard Astein said that it was okay, it became increasingly painful. I was worried about him more than myself, more than Selemion who was worried about me this morning.
Astein looked at me silently. Then he suddenly raised his lips.
“If you’re so worried, shall we make a bet?”
He had a little playfulness on his face. It was almost the first time he showed it in front of me.
It was the face he showed only when he played with the baby priests. The one I had been watching with delight in the distance.1
Because of that, my face became slightly hot. I wanted to look at it closely.
“Yes? Bet?”
“If I am unharmed even after the Imperial banquet, I win. If I get hurt or die, Lady Freya wins.”
“I don’t bet like that! How can you bet on your life?”
I just yelled. It was full of sorrow and a sincere heart. I never intended to take a light bet with his life. I hated it even if it was a joke.
Facing his cold body was enough only on the day before the reversion.
“I’m not going to die,” he said, erased the playfulness on his face.
His straight gaze met mine. I could see how hard and how determined he was when he said that.
“If you don’t want to bet, then I want you to give me a reason to survive desperately.”
“It’s better this way.”
“So, if I don’t get hurt after the Imperial banquet, would you give me a reward?”
Why would he ask me with the expression of a puppy in the rain like that? I nodded at his unfamiliar sight.
I was sure it’s not the time to get excited about this. But my heart was already running hard towards him, pushing away for any reason.
I couldn’t say no at all. I was afraid he’d be sullen from the refusal.
“Then if I survive, please leave Lady Freya’s day to me.”
A smile returned on his face. It wasn’t a playful smile like a while ago. It was a sincere and serious smile.
A smile that was as beautiful as his heart that I wanted to have.
“If you promise… will you never get hurt?”
Astein kneeled in front of me and took my hand. His lips, which were slightly rough and soft, touched the back of my hand.
Then he moved back. A low and serious voice filled the prayer room.
“Of course. I swear in the name of God.”
An unknown rumble was heard from the back of my hand. As his lips moved, my heart trembled.
“I won’t hurt a single hair to get your day.”
And a strong kiss was put on the back of my hand. I didn’t expect anything too hot and dark fell on my hand.
His body temperature on his lips touched my hands.
Like burning my heart.
