***
After being scolded to the point of tears by Erdos because I was taken out without a proper bodyguard, Eryrte was placed under house arrest in his own Palace. I didn’t think we would get caught, but I didn’t expect to find Erdos waiting for us in the room.
Of course, Eryte wouldn’t succumb to such punishment, but at least he would not be able to leave so easily while under surveillance. I walked through the garden after supper holding Erdos’s hand.
“Rosiane, it’s not safe out there. Don’t go out like that ever again, do you understand?”
During the hour of our walk, Erdos was explaining to me the dangers of the outside world.
Just as I was getting tired of it, Erdos made a completely shocking suggestion.
“If you want to go out and look around, I’ll go with you. Your body is a little stronger now, you can express your wish.”
For an hour, Erdos talked about going undercover with him. Actually, I had no intention of looking outside. I just went along to place Eryte’s compulsion to rest.
His thoughts were naturally ignored, as I needed to maintain the concept of “a child who can’t talk yet”. Eventually, to my annoyance, my first outing with my father was scheduled without knowing the exact date.
***
Autumn and winter in this strange world passed by in a flash. Before I knew it, a year had passed and it was early spring.
I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, my grandmother sat quietly on the ground. My mind still stuck in a dream, placed me in a daze. For the first time since I arrived here, I dreamed of the past. It was a dream from when I was a child.
The room was dimly lit with incandescent bulbs, and there was something gloomy about it. There was a faint musty smell that struck my nose. It was the smell that damp walls emitted when it rained. There were insects that periodically came up from the sewers, but no matter how much insecticide was sprayed. It was ineffective so we eventually gave up. Whenever it rained heavily, there would be so much water that it drenched everything. Occasionally, the power would go out, and sometimes the water was cut off. It was fairly normal for the gas to stop. At such times, my grandmother would take out the rice and kimchi that rested in the rice cooker when the electricity shut off. If I didn’t eat, she would shout at me.
‘You will starve!’
This was the world where my grandmother and I lived. A place where no light shone.
I thought this was how everyone lived. Alone in a house where the air was suffocating. No one to confide in. No one to talk to. However, I realized in elementary school that this was not the case, after I was invited to the group leader’s home. There was a mother who cooked a delicious meal for her because it was her birthday, and a father who brought her a neatly wrapped doll that she had asked for. The house was bathed in warm sunshine and delightfully smelled of air freshener.
‘What am I? Where are my parents? Where’s my grandma? Where is my house?’
I lifted my face, which was in my palms, and looked around the room. The expensive tapestries with woven figures of gods located in a corner of the room, gorgeous silver damask curtains with delicate trimmings on the edges, the soft carpet made of unidentifiable animal skins, everything was different from there…
“Ugh…”
Suddenly, It was hard to breathe and tears welled up in my eyes. I didn’t know why. It was too scary and painful to be alone in the room where only darkness lay. I couldn’t stay in the room any longer and ran out, and the guards standing at the door rushed after me. I ran as fast as I could to get away from it all.
“…… Rosie?”
As I reached the garden, breathing heavily, I saw Nanuk in front of me. He took turns looking at me and the guards, but then came closer to me.
“Did you have a nightmare?”
He hesitated for a moment, as if he didn’t know what to say, but then he wiped my tears away and asked. His hand on my cheek was warm.
“It’s okay. You’re not alone.”
Nanuk patted my head with a careful hand.
‘Not alone…?’ That was the most strange thing I’d ever heard, because I was always alone.
“I’ll be with you. Come, let’s go for a walk.”
He took off the thin cardigan he was wearing, buttoned it over me meticulously, and hugged me tightly. The warmth that was started with Nanuk’s hands circled my body and then lingered in my chest. Just as my breathing stabilized, Nanuk’s heartbeats sounded in my ears. It sounded very calm and nice. He had not said any comforting words during the walk, but this paradoxically gave me a sense of security. It was strange being consoled by someone who was much younger than me and who was just a character in the book.
“Will you come to my palace?”
Did he notice my reluctance to return to my room alone, that’s why he asked? Without replying, I grasped his sleeve firmly and, thinking it was an agreement, I turned to the right side of the garden. Unlike the garden of the Palace of Hegatheon, where the flowers were in full bloom, the garden of the Palace of Rafinas, where Nanuk stayed, were drooping green. There was not a single flower, the garden was made up of trees taller than an adult.
The garden of trees, one after the other, neatly trimmed without an inch of error, seemed to resemble him. It was like him that was perfectly refined from every angle, like him that there was a sharp edge to it, like him that it would sting you if you tried to get close to it.
“The Lelandi tree cleanses the spirit and relieves psychological pressure. How do you like it?”
Indeed, it was just what I needed right now. I breathed in, and the clear air awakened my clouded spirit.
Even though my grandmother’s death was already seven years ago, I would have nightmares. When that happened, I always ran out immediately.
Nanuk walked into the room and brought me a hot chocolate. There were a lot of marshmallows missing on top of the hot chocolate that was placed in front of me. The white marshmallows had melted and mixed with the chocolate because they could not stand the heat. This seemed to be me. I couldn’t overcome the first time I felt my family’s affection, and I was melting, not knowing what would happen to me.
“Be careful, it’s hot.”
Sweet things would make me feel better. Nanuk leaned back on his elbow as he slowly sipped his hot chocolate. His long, thick eyelashes cast shadows as if he had pulled down an awning. At first he called me a fairy, but it was he who looked more like a fairy. He was so lightly pigmented that it didn’t feel real. When I was about halfway through a cup of hot chocolate, he spoke.
“Next time if you have another nightmare, let the knight know to come get me. I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”
I looked at him with my eyes round. For him, the world was a chessboard. A journey to move the bishop, to thoroughly calculate and checkmate the numbers in all cases. Everything, except his family, was just a chess knight in his eyes. The unofficial position of Crown Prince, and the numerous assassination attempts he had experienced since he was a child, made him more cold-hearted and deliberate than anyone else.
He would be more like an “emperor” than anyone else. He put on solid armor that no one could break, layer by layer, and built a solid defensive wall. That merging line was the bedroom. He was a perfectionist and did not want to expose his disgrace. The definition of ‘sleep’ in his mind meant he had to let down his guard, and that was the breaking point he didn’t want anyone to see, nor could he.
[The Prince!]
It stuck in my memory because I’d read more methodically about the First Prince in the series. Therefore, his proposal was nothing short of surprising. How could Nanuk, who had never slept with any of his family even as a child, say such a thing? Was that how special Rosiane was? So much so that Nanuk would get out of bed to be by her side?
I thought he would send me back to my palace, but to my surprise, Nanuk let me sleep at his place.
“You’ve eaten something sweet, you should brush your teeth so you don’t get cavities.”
I put down my empty glass and Nanuk called the maid to help me brush my teeth. After brushing my teeth with help, I walked up to him, who was leaning against the head of the bed reading a book. The black leather cover of the book he was holding had [The Prince] written on it. It looked like a tough book for a sixteen years old to read. I looked at him with a puzzled expression, then he covered the book and placed it on a small table. He then lifted the covers and told me to get in.
I walked in groggily. The blanket smelled of the drying sun. He pulled up the covers to my neck. There was warmth under it. The servants turned off the lights and left, and darkness fell in the room. But it was not as gloomy as before. Nanuk patted the top of the covers to help me sleep better. A beautiful painted face in front of me. This time, I fell into a deep sleep without any dreams.
***
Thump. Thump.
“Brother! Rosie is gone! Wake up!”
It was really noisy early in the morning. Eryte knocked on the door of the room and woke me up. I was staring blindly at the clear sunshine through the window, when suddenly a shadow fell into my view. When my eyes could open easily, Nanuk stood in front of the window, covering the sunlight and making the shade. He looked at me with a subtle expression which I couldn’t tell if he was smiling or not.
He was really handsome, even through my hazy morning eyes. Why is this boy here?
“Nanuk…..?”
His name slipped out of my mouth. After a few moments of silence, I realized my mistake and sat up in bed hurriedly. However, I pretended like nothing happened, I lay down again, hitting my head directly into Nanuk’s hand, which had created a hidden curtain over my head. I heard a crackling sound as I realized how hard I had hit him.
“Haha!”
He laughed aloud at first. He could see that I was looking at him with a puzzled expression, so he quickly adjusted his expression and patted my twitching forehead.
“You called my name for the first time.”
I stared at him, fearing he would think I was crazy, but he just raised his mouth and smiled beautifully. His eyes curved in an arc. It was the first time I had ever seen a smile that was uniquely his. It was more than I expected.
Thump. Thump.
“Brother! How long are you going to sleep? Rosiane’s not in her room!” Eryte shouted again.
At a loss for words, Nanuk sighed and applied pressure to his temples.