Chapter 2: Liking somebody is Scary, but I also like it.
Author: 長月 Nagatsuki
TN:Mamuni
Click LINK TO PREVIOUS CHAPTER for the followers who didn’t get email.
The night after the matchmaking. I returned to my small 1LDK condominium(TN: It’s a single room apartment.), I was reminiscing about last night while soaking my shoulders in the lukewarm water in my bath.
My first marriage interview, and my first confession from a girl. Both were exciting experiences, and it really took a lot out of me.
Although I had a lot in common with Kameoka-san, I don’t feel like our personalities are very similar.
Unlike me, who is rather rough and energetic, she is a calm adult woman. Always having a soft smile, and a slightly low voice that is pleasant to the ears. She is calm but not quiet, and her gorgeous voice when talking about her favorite things is captivating. Always smiling with her relaxed eyes, and her round nails on her fingers are cute too.
The time I spent with her was fun, pleasant, and I wanted more no matter what. Actually we decided to meet the next day. – – – And I promised the next time we meet I would have an answer to her confession.
“I mean, I already like them. . .”
If I don’t deny my feelings I can just admit it. If I abandon the idea that same sex = friend, logically my feelings for Kameoka-san are love no matter how I slice it.
The A.I’s judgment is correct. There was a possibility she just spoke recklessly based on the scenario, but I have to admit she is speaking from the heart because I was also aware of my fluttering heart. I’m definitely attracted to her.
However, romance and marriage is a different story.
When my grandma was a child, same-sex marriage was legally permitted in Japan, and advancements in reproductive technology have made it possible for same-sex couples to have children. Thanks to that, there is no real difference between straight and gay marriage.
Unfortunately, human prejudice is another issue. In general same-sex marriage is more likely to be seen one step lower than hetrosexual marriage. It also spills over to children conceived in those marriages. This prejudice is particularly prominent for people over the age of 60. I’ve never actively scorn or show disdain for people living that lifestyle, but I myself am not a saint, I can’t say I’ve never had any prejudice. And with me being the person in question doesn’t mean that all my discomfort is gone.
That’s why I’m unsettled about this.
“Marriage is also not a one man thing.”
If I believe in the value of compatibility, Kameoka-san and I will have a happy marriage. We’d enjoy our time laying on the sofa together watching videos, enjoying sake together. Our body shapes aren’t too different so we could lend each other our clothes. We only spent a few hours together, but I could easily imagine living with her.
However, that is regarding the compatibility between each other. That value does not include compatibility with those around you.
You could be a great match, but I often hear the family could be a make or break factor. A little while ago, a popular actress came out saying in the entertainment news that her relationship ended for that reason.
“What about our families? I hope they approve. . .”
Huh? The more I think about it, I really want to marry her. It’s so amazing. Until yesterday morning, I never would have even thought about marrying another girl.
I can hear a voice in my head screaming. “It’s that person!”. It’s in the back of my head. I want her, she is my destiny, it’s a desperate feeling.
And, that scares me. I feel scared about being with her.
She is still waiting for my reply, I could still run away. Give up.
Although I wanted to be with her, I still lacked the courage to voluntarily jump into a minority group- – -A group that can be looked at with prejudice. . .
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The next time I met Kameoka-san was on a friday night. She said that there was a great Izakaya that serves delicious Sake. When we got there we sat in a private room with a nice atmosphere.
With a shine in my eyes I ordered high brand sake and shochu. Seeing me order all that, Kameoka-san giggled and said “Don’t drink too much.” Don’t drink too much, we’ll see about that.
“I never make mistakes with alcohol.”
“Oh, are you a heavy weight?”
“Hmm, maybe just normal. How about you?”
“I think I’m also normal. Though originally I didn’t drink too much.”
She brushed her hair to be above her ear, looking down at her menu with her long eyelashes, sipping her drink. As I thought, I like her.
Why is she so attractive? Each casual gesture stirs me, and just listening to her voice warms my chest. I want to touch her small soft earlobes, I want to put my face to her nape and smell her in, it’s kind of perverted.
I was staring at her while she looked at the menu, noticing my stare as she looked up, her cheeks then dyed lightly red.
“It’s a little embarrassing to be looked at that intensely. . .”
“S-Sorry. . !”
Ah, that was bad. Even though I haven’t taken a sip my head is giddy.
The reply to the confession was mentally postponed. We should know more about each other during tonight’s drinking, but it might not be necessary. The other day I wasn’t aware of my attraction to her, but being self conscious of it makes it now impossible to ignore. My heart is racing so fast I might die.
I mean, isn’t her shy face too cute? It’s also kind of sexy. Cute and sexy.
“Have you perhaps thought about my confession?”
Kameoka-san came out swinging.
“Eh, Um . . .Yeah.”
“Ah, thank you. I hope you thought about it seriously. I feel like listening to it sooner would be nice, but let’s talk a little after our meal.”
“That’s true. It would be awkward if the clerk came in the middle of our talk.”
I haven’t even ordered, but it seems we weren’t about to go to the main event. The order of things is important. It would be smart to order first, then after all our stuff is delivered we enjoy a little chat.
Kameoka-san bitterly smiled at me, when I gave my yeah yeah response.
“If I get rejected we can’t have fun drinking. I’m just going to put off the scary thing. I’m sorry, but I’m pretty anxious.”
“Oh don’t be, it’s okay! Because I like you!”
“. . .Eh?”
“Ah. . .”
I said it!!
I hadn’t even ordered, and the final payload was delivered. I was too busy thinking about having a fun chat, but I ruined all of the setup in 5 seconds! Ah man. Shit. I really wanted to have a natural momentum.
But now I just shoved it all on Kameoka-san. Please tell me it will be okay, Maybe I can pass it off.
“Ah, Um wait. nevermind .”
“Eh, n-nevermind?”
Kameoka-san deflated in a pitiful frown, her eyes moistened as in an old Shoujo manga, she leaned forward and whimpered. No it’s true! I didn’t know it would hurt you saying to forget it! I just wanted a fresh start, I’m sorry!
“Um, wait no. No nevermind. I like you.”
“. . .Really?”
“I can’t lie about this. I’m not sure about marriage yet, but I do like you.”
“Thank you, I’m so happy.”
Illuminated by the soft light of the cabin, with a screaming smile she brightly said, “I like you too”
In our private room, two people stared at each other with bright red faces, when suddenly there was a knock at the door.
“Pardon me. Have you decided on your order?”
With a hurried expression, the clerk asked with a nice smile. I said ” Juyondai”and ” I would also like that!” followed.
We’ve only ordered drinks for the time being.
Also I was so taken off guard I just ordered from the premium sake section, isn’t that expensive? Well, it’s a celebration sake, so it’s alright?
“Hey, about our conversation. . .”
“Wait, I don’t want to talk about it now, they can hear. The walls are thin.”
“Is that so?”
“Because I like you too!” they could definitely hear if she says that. Kameoka-san spoke in a moderate voice, but I’m sorry. Surely the clerk just before entering was waiting for their time.
We waited quietly until the liquor arrived, and then enjoyed the delicious liquor. Chatting lightly until going into a deeper talk when our food arrived. By the time we were almost over with our meal we finally began to talk about it.
“Um, I said I’m still not sure about our marriage.”
“Yeah, I did say that.”
“I’m wondering if I should say more, but I’m really worried. What will my family think, what will the people around me think?”
Kameoka-san quietly listened to my woes. I talked about the things that have been troubling me at home. Giving me the ocassional conversation response.
I like her, and I would love to get married if possible. But the eyes around me are scary.
She finished listening to my selfish anxieties until the end.
“Yeah, I understand.”
She nodded easily.
“Um, you do?”
“Yeah, I’m worried about the same things.”
“Eh, really? Then why did you quickly confess?”
On the day I met her, she confessed after only knowing me for 3 hours. Because of that I thought she was simply somebody who didn’t worry about gender.
Kameoka-san shyly looked away after my retort.
“Because Minato-san wanted to meet up as friends. . . I thought you wouldn’t look at me as a possible love interest if we met like that.”
“Ah, uhh. Is that so? I did say that!”
“I fell in love with you at first glance, and when we talked I became more fond of you. So when I confessed, I simply didn’t want to miss the chance! I was desperate.”
“Huh!?”
This is my first time hearing that! I could understand if you see a beautiful person, but I just have an average face. This is the first time I’ve ever been told that.
But isn’t that similar to me? It may be because we were destined once that we both were charmed immediately after meeting.
“One thing to note however, is that I’ve always known that I was bisexual. So those troubles for me have already passed.”
“Ah, is that so? Huh. . .”
Does that mean she was with a girl before me? Maybe they were also dating. . .No, I’ve dated before too. I’ve had former boyfriends. But now I feel bothered. . .I can’t complain though. . . Sigh.
“I asked you out with the premise of getting married, I’m sure that was bothersome. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, I was happy!”
“Thank you. But you don’t have to think about marriage right now. I’d be happy enough if we could get to know each other more, and perhaps get married when you feel more confident.”
She said with a dazzling smile. Simply stating to do my best. Perhaps it’s because she is older than me that she knows exactly what to say.
I don’t want her to put up with me. I may live with her my entire life, so I want us to get along together and not have her overdue it.
“Well, you know alot about me.”
“Yeah. I’d like to know more, Minato-san.”
She wants to know more about me. And I want to know about her.
What does she like, what does she dislike? What does she want to do, what doesn’t she?
What does she want from me, what do I want from her?
We’ve spent less than 10 hours together, that’s far too little time to know each other.
“Hey, can I sit besides you?”
“Uh, sure. What happened?”
“I’m just a little tipsy.”
“That’s a lie.”
“You can’t decide that, but I wonder if I should get closer to be safe.”
Kameoka-san replied in a pouty voice, but ignored my response. She got up and then sat on the seat to my left.
She pushed closer into my shoulder, allowing me to smell her soft, sweet aroma.
Shampoo, liquor, and probably her own scent. Maybe it’s because of our compatibility but smelling her feels good. I’ll refrain for now, but I’d like to have a deeper whiff sometime soon.
“Kameoka-san. I actually have a thing for scents, and you are smelling really nice.”
“Ehh, I’m happy but. Kinda embarrassing.”
“Hmm, I. . .”
She glanced at my face and shyly turned immediately. Ah, there is something about her.
“I want to know about Kameoka-san.”
“That’s playing dirty!”
Kameoka-san moved her upper body to escape my eyes, but I followed further into her. She was cut off from her retreat, turned red to a point she couldn’t go further, and diverted her flustering eyes.
She usually looks so adult, but she is very shy and cute now. I mean, she is always cute, but a shy Kameoka-san is insanely cute.
“I want to kiss you. . .”
I placed my left hand on her cheek and turned her towards me. With her eyes rounded, I saw the light of expectations flicker within them. Understanding her desires, she pulled her lips closer.
A gentle soft few seconds happened with a kiss-like greeting. However the heat, the softness, the sweet sigh was too perfect. Leading to a captivating kiss.
I managed to ignore the temptation to go into a deep kiss, with a sigh we parted. With similar regrets she looked with eyes that screamed to chase.
“I guess we also have a 92% kiss compatibility.”
“Fufufu, perhaps. . .”
Kameoka-san smiled embarrassed. She looks kind of like an innocent teenage girl. So I wonder if kissing on the first day was too much.
Seeing how giddy I am, I wonder if I’m also thinking like a teenageer.
“Minato-san, Um. . .”
“Aki is fine.”
Eh? That is what her face said.
“I’d prefer if the people I like call me by my first name, and if I also called them by their name. . .Mizuki.”
I wanted to have a smarter relationship where we could call each other by our name, but why is it so embarrassing to say. I feel like I didn’t have such a bittersweet exchange with my ex-boyfriends, even when I was a teenager.
Still I can’t help it. I really want her to call me by my name.
“Thank you, Aki. I like you.”
“Me too. . .Mizuki.
From then Mizuki initiated, the lip piling was stronger than before. Intoxicated by the sweetness of her touch, and more fragile from the alcohol, all I could think about was her.
Just a little more.
I don’t think it took so much time, so please wait.
Until I got the courage to live together. Full speed forcing through my worries to be with Mizuki.
Just when we were leaving, Mizuki laughed and told me she had a kissing kink. Afterwards, in the self-driving taxi, we kissed again.
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This chapter is much more, umm. Is it hot in here?