How many people remember the moment they stop breathing?
I was struggling in the dark.
I’m choking. It’s painful.
I was struggling to live and suddenly my eyes were blinded.
I was only able to see a white light in my blurred vision.
‘Are you alive?’
It was noisy around me, but there was nothing I could understand.
There was nothing I could say.
At one moment, I felt a pain in my hips, and I opened my mouth to breathe.
Hey! Huh?!
***
2 years old.
Yes. I was 2 years old now. It was a time for ordinary babies to eat, sleep, and relax without worrying about anything.
But I was looking at the babies lying in the cradle with a confused face.
Babies who were asleep like angels looked the same.
‘Maybe because they’re babies, they’re like identical twins.’
I was born into an ordinary family, graduated from a four-year university, and luckily got a job right away.
I graduated from the department of early childhood education and became a kindergarten teacher.
But who knew it would be the beginning of hell?
I liked it.
However, the variable of the parents and the children being smarter than I thought made it difficult for me.
I was underpaid a lot. Even though my salary was already so small.
But I never thought of dying.
Every day was stressful and hard, but I held on thinking that every day would be the same.
As my friends became busy and it became difficult to meet them, I naturally spent more time alone, and it was novels that comforted me.
Romance Novels.
As someone who has been single since birth, the romance in those novels seemed like a foreign fantasy to me.
Then one day, I was reading, and a collection of a romance fantasy novel came into my eyes. Honestly, the cover was so pretty, I clicked on it like I was possessed.
It was the first time I’ve read a romance fantasy, so I thought I would get a ticket and only read the free portions, but I paid for the rest of the novel.
‘It was a cliché, but the author’s writing skills covered it up. Their ability to draw in readers was no joke.’
It was a romance fantasy novel titled “Cinderella Doesn’t Wear Glass Shoes.” Turned out it was number one in the romance fantasy category!
No wonder it was so much fun. The female protagonist was a rural self-made lady, who had eyes that could see spirits. The novel begins when she enters the academy and gets entangled with several male characters. I was so absorbed in the magic and different charms of the identity system that I even searched for words I didn’t know and read them.
‘I was confused about the ranks.’
There was a count and viscount, but I was confused at first because I didn’t know which one had a higher ranking. In the end I was reading it with a motherly smile seeing the male and female protagonist being lovey dovey without caring about the ranks.
Hmmm, the story goes in a different direction, but if you omit it, it is a story where a heroine of low status marries the crown prince of the empire. As the title suggests, the female protagonist is a refreshing character that pioneers her own fate!
‘Because she did not get pushed around by a man, and the scene where the heroine posed confidently made me have a girl crush.’
I really enjoyed reading it.
I was waiting all night for the novel to be completed so when I got the notification that it had been finished I was so excited that I banged on my desk at work. I was glad it was lunchtime.
I thought it might be about a happy marriage life or a story of the second generation, but it was the story of the villain’s past, contrary to everyone’s expectations.
It contained the reason why the twins were forced to become villains as if they wanted to show that there was no villain without a story.
I liked it, but it wasn’t the sweet ending I was expecting. I was sympathetic because the villain in the novel was dead.
“Oh, when have you been here? Lady Sernia, you’re walking well by yourself now.”
“Yes!”
Sernia Ardentine. The strange and familiar word was my name in this life.
I replied with a big smile to the maid holding me from behind.
“Shall we get a bite to eat?”
“Mamma Zoa!”
At first, while pretending to be a baby, I felt weird, but when I didn’t have teeth, I made a lot of sounds like Abu-, Kya-, and got used to it.
I recalled the contents of my foreign experience while eating baby food that the maid fed me.
The Duke of Ardentine, a symbol of splendid, beautiful elegance that resembled a fresh green scenery,
the highest rank of the nobility as the sole duke of the empire,
In other words, a diamond spoon!
The eldest son, Eriale, and Ariel, the eldest daughter. The two were fraternal twins.
Their names and appearances resembled the Little Mermaid. It must have been taken by the author after watching a certain animation. However, the twins were completely different from the little mermaid.
Eriale is a sub-male and villain who causes a rebellion because of the female protagonist.
Ariel is a wicked woman who is jealous of the heroine and gives her a hard time because she loves the male lead, the prince.
When I read the novel, I criticized the twins for what they did, but the reason they were so obsessed and longing for affection was because their parents neglected them and their only cousin, who had looked after them, betrayed them, and died.
‘Thats me now!’
It’s all because of me they turned black.* (Meaning evil)
I was originally the child of the Duke of Ardentine. However, the duke and his wife died in a wagon accident and I became an orphan overnight.
It is said that the current Duke, who was his younger brother, inherited Ardentine and collected me.
‘The relationship between the current duke and the duchess is so bad that they are famous in society.’
The Duchess, who was already pregnant when she met me, went down to the villa, saying that she had twins and was in poor health.
The Duke supported everything as a caregiver, but he had no affection. The cousin who grew up with the nanny in the strict indifference of his parents was the parent and friend of the twins.
‘But I’m jealous of the twins, so I frame them and kill them, and I kill myself.’
The despair that the only person who gave love disappears at the same time.
And then I cursed myself to death and died.
‘There is no one in this world who will love you fully… It’s too much for you.’
I was moving my mouth mechanically, but I heard a voice breaking my thoughts.
“When you’re done eating, shall we take a nap?”
When did we finish eating?
Thinking about the story of the novel, I didn’t know whether the baby food went into my mouth or my nose.
When I smiled and nodded, the maid smiled and put me on the bed.
The nanny hasn’t come in yet.
The Duchess went down to the villa a few days ago, so she will come in soon.
My goal is to raise the twins with love and not blacken them!
In fact, I was a kindergarten teacher in my previous life, but I was not confident.
Education and parenting are different.
But there was a sense of responsibility.
My last life, too….
‘Mom and Dad must have been very sad. I was supposed to see my friends for the first time in a while on the weekend. I’m so sorry I didn’t see you for the last time.’
I fulfilled my teacher’s mission until the end.
On my way back from a picnic there was a bus accident. The bus, which was off the road from the curve, rolled down a mountain path and fell into the lake.
I broke the window with an emergency hammer and sent the children out. The problem was that it took time because everyone had to loosen their seat belts.
I sent the last child outside, but I couldn’t escape and sank with the bus.
‘Come on. Let’s stop thinking about my past life!’
I shook my head. When I think about my past life, I have a lot of lingering feelings.
I was born again the moment I thought I died.
Surprisingly.
I don’t know how it works.
I just opened my eyes and became a baby.
We can’t change the past anyway! The only thing I can change is the future!
I clenched my fists and made a pledge.
Even if this is a novel, I will survive!
***
“Let’s play with dolls today!”
“No! My sister is going to play war with me today.”
The twins who slept in the cradle grew up to be five years old. They were not loved by the Duke and Duchess, but they grew up to be loved by me and my nanny.
“It’s a nice day today. Shall we go on a picnic?”
“You’re gonna go to the garden even if it’s a picnic, right? We went last week.”
“If you don’t like it, don’t go. I’ll go with you.”
“What? Who said no? It’s just that I want to go somewhere else.”
The little kids stuck by me, arguing hard.
The twins, who look the same, but are subtly different in their hair color and eye color, asked me with their pretty green eyes.
I didn’t even get it right, but when I saw the twins talking at the same time, I laughed.
“I love being with Eriale and Ariel so much that I can’t think of anything.”
“Really?”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
The sofa rocked and the two children hugged me.
I naturally patted the twins’ heads and said.
“Or shall we read a book here today?”
“I’m happy if you read it.”
“I like hero novels!”
“No, we’re fighting every day. I like romance stories.”
The twins, who look the same but have opposite tastes, suddenly left the room and brought the book they wanted to read.
Eriale’s book was “Aslande Hero Story.” It was a book that tells the story of the first emperor of the Aslande Empire in fairy tales.
Ariel’s book was a romance story called “The Secret Knight and the Lost Princess.”