Upon Lionel’s return, Karl, the butler, informed him of Riv’s daytime visitor.
“Priest Philip came to visit.”
“Philip? Philip Katana?”
“Yes.”
Karl wiped sweat from his wrinkled forehead.
“Actually, it is said that Philip Katana died a long time ago. I had them look for him just in case, but he disappeared without a trace.”
Lionel nodded his head.
“What did they talk about?”
“I couldn’t hear their conversation.”
Lionel’s expression darkened.
***
That evening, Riv went to bed early under the pretext that she was not feeling well.
Lionel visited Riv and touched her forehead.
“It’s not a fever, and I don’t think you have a cold.”
Lionel’s face was filled with concern for her.
Riv didn’t want to lie.
“I didn’t take a walk because it was too cold. Besides, it’s too crowded here compared to the countryside.”
Lionel stared at Riv as she lay quietly on the bed and pulled the duvet over her body.
“You don’t have a fever, but it is cold, so be careful.”
“Okay.”
“Right now, get rest. I was going to turn down annoying social invitations anyway, so it’s fine.”
“Thank you.”
The social season had not begun, but it seemed that some nobles had already returned to the Royal Capital.
However, the Earl of Murden couple, whom Riv wanted to see, would not return until spring.
She regretted not meeting with Sophia, but decided not to write her a letter.
‘After all, if I disappear, nothing will be left.’
Riv stared at Lionel, desperately wishing she could tell him everything.
Her terribly charming husband… She wished she could be with him tonight too, but she couldn’t.
“Did you hear that Priest Philip visited, Lionel?”
“Oh, Philip Katana?”
Riv nodded her head.
“Philip said that he had met my mother. He said that I look a lot like her.”
“If he knew her, then it must be true.”
Riv grinned.
Lionel couldn’t take his eyes off Riv’s pale face.
“Did Priest Philip give you a shock? You don’t look good.”
“No. It’s nothing.”
Riv held back what she wanted to say.
“I’m worried about Riv.”
Riv told him she was just tired and fell asleep quickly.
She felt Lionel’s concerned gaze, but she didn’t care.
She just hoped that Lionel wouldn’t notice her physical condition.
***
Nights were a nightmare for Marianne.
“You impure, filthy thing!”
Marianne’s new husband, the old Grand Duke, imprisoned and abused her. Shortly after she married him, Marianne lost her child.
“P-Please, S-Stop it!”
“Stop what?”
That night too, the Grand Duke’s fist flew at her.
Marianne fell to the ground.
The drunken Grand Duke began to swear at Marianne with bloodshot eyes.
“Do you know how much it cost me to have you? But now what? Why are you still useless?”
“S-Spare me.”
Marianne begged on her hands and knees. However the Grand Duke either couldn’t see, or didn’t care.
“Aahh!”
Marianne fainted after being hit again. Her small body was covered with bruises.
After some time, Marianne regained her consciousness and realized that her feet were shackled to the bed.
“Why, why did this happen?”
To make matters worse, the Grand Duke’s son’s cries drifted in from somewhere.
Marianne covered her face with a pillow and stuck her fingers in her ears.
Still, the cries of the children did not go away.
“It’s terrible! Save me, please!”
Marianne struggled in anguish.
“Let me out of here please. Somebody save me!”
They were hellish days from which she couldn’t escape.
Marianne, who had only been married for a month, was slowly going crazy. She couldn’t sleep well because of the cries of children.
And when she finally fell asleep, Marianne always had nightmares.
In her dreams, she was killed over and over again, in many ways.
Beaten, trampled, beheaded, poisoned, tortured.
At the end of each nightmare, there was a giggling woman looking down at her dying self.
“Crazy. This is crazy.”
Marianne was always a victim in her dreams.
She was sometimes human, sometimes beast.
When she was a human, she was a powerless, low-ranking maid. When she was a beast, she was a young, weak, little thing who had just been born.
She was killed regardless.
And it was always the same person who killed her.
One day, Marianne finally realized.
That she was the one who killed herself in her dreams.
That she was experiencing the ‘death’ of all the things she had killed.
“Why, why, aaaah!”
Marianne struggled in agony.
“It’s all because of Riv. It’s because of that stupid girl!”
The only person listening to the crazy Marianne was the black reaper at her bedside.
Marianne sported the reaper and screamed.
No one heard her.
***
It was December, and the day Riv died was tomorrow.
It was exceptionally cold that morning.
It was a clear day, but it was cold enough to make the hair on her body stand up. The servants of the mansion walked around in heavy layers.
“It snowed the day I died.”
Riv wrote a letter she couldn’t deliver to the Countess of Murden, and went to the greenhouse.
She read a book but couldn’t process it. So she organized her clothes instead.
She wanted to spend the whole day with Lionel, but he was called to the Palace to deal with the aftermath of Ezul Plains.
Returning late at night, he stayed in his bedroom so as not to wake Riv.
‘Tonight may be my last.’
Riv headed to Lionel’s bedroom late that night.
She wore a nightgown that concealed her invisible body.
The door between the two rooms opened. It was lit just enough for her silhouette to be distinguished.
Since it was the middle of winter, the floor was cold and the Duke’s bedroom was a little chilly.
‘You didn’t start a fire?’
Riv added wood to the fireplace and headed to his bed.
The blonde-haired man had fallen asleep, alone.
Riv lifted the blanket and lay next to him.
“Hmm, Riv?”
Lionel turned to face Riv.
Riv leaned against him and listened to his heartbeat.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
It was beating strongly.
Lionel was clearly alive.
“Riv, what is it?”
It was nice to hear his voice.
Riv burrowed into Lionel’s reliable arms.
“Lionel, I hate being alone.”
“Mm.”
“So, hug me.”
“What?”
‘Is Lionel fully awake?’
Riv wondered as she brushed Lionel’s bare skin. He liked to sleep without clothes on, regardless of whether it was cold or hot.
His body was always burning.
“Lionel.”
All Riv needed was him.
“Hug me.”
Riv caressed his body. Her hands became warm.
Riv straddled Lionel’s body and looked down at him.
He stared up at Riv with dark eyes.
“My wife.”
It was easy to arouse Lionel.
Riv welcomed him gladly. She stretched out her arms towards him.
“Come to me, Lionel.”
“Riv.”
Their shadows overlapped. Lionel became a beast, and ravaged her.
The blankets that covered them were flung about violently.
***
Much time had passed. Riv stretched out, tired.
Lionel looked overly satisfied as he lusted after and teased her.
“I’m going to the bathroom for a moment.”
Riv said to him.
“Don’t you need a light?”
“I have no problem getting there.”
Lionel stared at Riv curiously, but didn’t stop her.
Lionel growled as he casually laid back on the bed. He looked like a satisfied beast.
Riv hurriedly hid her body under her lace pajamas.
Fortunately, her body did not disappear while she was with him. So Lionel didn’t notice.
She loved Lionel madly.
She was more regretful to lose him than to disappear.
Riv looked back at Lionel.
Soaked in sweat, he reached towards Riv.
His eyes burning with desire, Lionel licked his lips as he stared at her.
“Riv, come here.”
Riv laid on Lionel’s arm like a pillow.
She couldn’t sleep easily. When she thought about how this was their last night together, her insomnia got even worse.
“Lionel, what would you do if you had to make a choice?”
“What kind of choice?”
“If you had to choose between the world and me, what would it be?”
“It would never happen, but I only care about you, my wife.”
That was enough for her. Riv laughed. Even if she disappeared now, she would be satisfied.
Even if he didn’t remember her, even if he no longer loved her.
Riv could live in a world of nothingness with just those words.
“Riv, stop talking and go to sleep now.”
As Lionel nagged her, she cuddled deeper into his arms. She could hear his heartbeat.
Lionel’s arms were wide and comfortable.
A warm embrace that she never wanted to forget. He was the only one she loved.
“Don’t forget. You’re the only one I can’t forget.”
Riv muttered to herself. She was sad to leave Lionel here.
She decided she didn’t want to disappear until she had to.
This was the best choice for Riv.
***