Chapter 30.1
Roswaal’s proposal――To release the refugees of Arlam .
Like the last time, the proposal itself passed without much resistance . Seeing no point in keeping the refugees in the Sanctuary any longer, it was only natural . But of course, unlike last time, there was no accompanying condition that Subaru should challenge the Trials .
[Subaru: This time I’m totally getting hated on by the guy who came up with that condition, after all……]
[Emilia: What’s wrong, Subaru?]
[Subaru: Nnno, it’s nothing . Speaking of which, is Emilia-tan feeling better? Have you calmed down a bit? If I’m too much of a nuisance in the room I could go outside if you want?]
Flapping his hand with an awkward smile, Subaru said this to the girl beside him―― Emilia .
They were in the bedroom that Lewes lent to Emilia, sitting on the side of the bed, and passing the time without talking about anything particularly interesting .
The time was dusk, approaching the fall of night .
–
After waking up a little before noon, Emilia had some late breakfast before they went to settle the negotiations between Roswaal and Lewes on the matter of the refugees . The discussion proceeded without any problems, and they agreed on releasing the refugees the following day, and dissolved their meeting there――
[Garfiel: So, t’state the obvious…… Emilia-sama’ll be challengin’ the Trials t’night, yeah?]
As if laying down a warning, Garfiel’s words didn’t leave much room for interpretation .
Pressing down the urge to click his tongue, Subaru stole a glance at Emilia, and, although it was only for a brief moment, he saw on the side of her face a fleeting trace of fear and grief . In fact, he was almost certain that Emilia will fail the Trial tonight .
Unlike Subaru, who had passed the Trial owing to his memories, Emilia’s condition ultimately hadn’t changed at all . In order for Emilia to pass the Trial, Subaru will have to take actions to create some drastic changes in the environment around her .
Yet, in this loop, Subaru couldn’t see a single way to change her environment in such a short period of time . ――If she challenges the Trial tonight, it will only be wearing her down .
[Subaru: But she wouldn’t breathe a word of complaint or even think of giving up… that’s just like Emilia-tan]
In front of Garfiel’s provocative question, Emilia hid away that momentary emotion within her eyes, and firmly answered, [Of course I will] .
Garfiel narrowed his eyes as if impressed by her reply, and Roswaal quietly whistled, which only added to Subaru’s irritation .
But in the end, there was no way to stop this . There were only a few hours left before the start of the Trial tonight .
–
After ending their talks there, she ate lunch not long after her breakfast, and it was about three hours later when they got back to the house . In that time, following by her side, Subaru had been constantly talking to Emilia―― but as the hour of the Trials neared, he noticed she was speaking less and less .
By now, her words have become almost exclusively reacting to Subaru’s . But――
[Emilia: Umn…… I’d prefer if you… don’t go]
[Subaru: AaAHHH, UNDERSTOOD . NO PROBLEM . Until Emilia-tan’s settles down, I will just keep focusing on savoring the air Emilia-tan breathes out, so don’t worry]
[Emilia: I reeaaally don’t like the sound of that . ……but, stay here]
Faced with the complexities of a young girl’s heart, Subaru shrugged his shoulders and stayed like she asked .
Even if, to her, it must have only been filling the void of losing the one whom she relied on the most .
Ever since coming to the Sanctuary―― or more accurately, ever since Puck stopped responding to her calls after they returned to the Mansion, Emilia’s attitude toward Subaru had consistently softened .
A part of him was overjoyed to be given a place within her heart, but there was another part of Subaru that was quietly concerned about this development .
That part of him wondered what could be the dangers of Emilia losing her strongest anchor .
[Emilia: ……Hmm?]
[Subaru: Nothing at all? I was just thinking Emilia-tan’s eyelashes are so long and cute, I kinda wanna eat them]
[Emilia: Subaru, you keep saying you want to eat my hair, eat my eyelashes, or lick my cheeks…… are you, into that sort of thing?]
[Subaru: Where I come from, that’s the greatest possible expression of love, you know~]
Seeing Emilia relaxing slightly and sulking at his comments, Subaru scratched at his cheeks .
Although Subaru would consider making licking-noises to be the utmost confession of love, actually doing so would have been extremely creepy . This was especially true in a world that didn’t understand these sorts of things . So he should pay attention to what he says . Although it was too late now .
Occasionally, Subaru would try to take Emilia’s mind off of things by talking about random stuff like this . He now knew some fragments of Emilia’s past . And if he mentions this to her, perhaps something dramatically different from last time might happen,
――But no matter how he thought about it, he felt it wouldn’t be a change for the better .
No matter what the situation becomes, in the end, what he needed was time .
He needed time to help Emilia come to terms with her past and find the resolve within her own heart . And he also needed time to mention the fragments of her past to her, and ask her for the truth of what happened . Time, time, time . There wasn’t nearly enough time .
[Subaru: Just why do I have to always rush from one thing to another all the time . Ever since coming to this World, was there even a time when I got to properly relax a bit?]
Searching through his memories, if there was a time he managed to spend relatively quietly, it would’ve been the few weeks after he settled the problem with the Wolgarms in the forest .
Before and after that, it was just continuous turmoil without a moment’s rest . It was a miracle that he didn’t die of overwork .
And, as he was thinking about these unnutritious thoughts,
[Emilia: ――Subaru]
He was a little slow to react to her abrupt call . Turning toward the direction of the voice―― Subaru saw Emilia’s wet, violet eyes very close to him, staring at him .
He was so enchanted in that moment by those tear-drenched eyes that his heart thumped so loudly he was afraid it was going to stop . Subaru gasped . And, seeing him do this, a wavering resolve and hesitation appeared within Emilia’s eyes . Perhaps she was trying to decide whether to tell Subaru something before the Trial .
[Subaru: What is it?]
Subaru tried to say this as gently as he could, being careful not to rush her . If she could make up her mind here, then he mustn’t disturb her .
However, hearing Subaru’s reply, Emilia only turned down her gaze,
[Emilia: ah…… mn, sorry . It’s nothing . I just, wanted to call you]
[Subaru: ――oh, is that right . J-JUST WANTED TO CALL ME!? Why do I get the feeling that’s something couples say when they’re already in a relationship!]
[Emilia: I… guess I have to go soon……]
Her resolve was gone . Subaru regretted having missed the opportunity, but he pretended not to notice and puffed up his chest nonetheless . Emilia stood up while listening to his voice, and looked outside the window at the Sun that was beginning to set .
[Emilia: ――I have to head to the Tomb . Subaru will only accompany me halfway, right?]
[Subaru: Even if I beg Garfiel to let me see you off to the Entrance, I don’t think I can persuade him . ……Emilia, although I know there’s no point in me saying this, but…]
[Emilia: ――It’s alright . You don’t need to say it, Subaru]
……”Don’t push yourself too hard . ” Emilia already knew what he was going to say, and stopped him before he could say it .
In front of Subaru’s quivering lips, a courageous smile emerged on Emilia’s cheeks, and she held up a finger in front of her lips,
[Emilia: I’m fine, although everyone might not think so after how flustered I was yesterday, I’ll do my best . I want to do my best . And I have to do my best, I think]
Suddenly clenching the hand in front of her face into a fist, [That’s why], she continued,
[Emilia: If you want to say something to me, don’t say “It’s alright to give up” . You should say “Do your best”, and cheer me on instead . As long as I know there’s one person who still believes in me, I’m sure I can find the strength do it]
[Subaru: Believe in you… of course I believe in you, Emilia-tan . The only guy in existence who might possibly expect as much from you as I do is probably that daddy-cat, you know . ――So, do your best]
[Emilia: Mn, I’ll do my best]
For the first time today, Emilia smiled without the hint of putting up a facade . Relieved to see her smile, Subaru stood up as well and followed her out of the building .
In the Sanctuary after nightfall, a chilling wind was blowing .
Caressed by the wind, Emilia’s silver hair danced and glittered as she made her way forward .
Like a silver river flowing under the moonlight, Subaru watched from behind as she forged on with her stalwart steps,
――Although he knew that she will fail tonight .