Chapter 58.1
Coming out of the remote residence alongside Lewes and Pico, Subaru noticed a sliver of dawn beginning to creep onto the eastern sky, and felt sleepy for the first time that night .
[Subaru: Woah, the sun’ll be up soon…… a whole lot’s happened tonight, huh]
It didn’t feel like it, but the night had begun with Emilia’s first Trial, followed by Subaru’s intervention, a Return by Death, an after-Trial meeting, a run-in with Garfiel, and, after that, him uncovering a secret facility before spending the rest of the night learning the Sanctuary’s secrets from Lewes .
This dense use of time and the hyper-speed developments had left him dazed and out of breath . And, unlike his mind, he couldn’t quite hide the toll on his body, which had been running non-stop until now . One could say that the subtle imbalance of mental and physical fatigue was just one of the downsides of Return by Death .
[Subaru: Honestly, I kinda wanna go back to the Cathedral and sleep till noon……]
[Lewes: No one would mind if you do . I plan on taking a nice long rest as well after I pass things on to the next Lewes]
[Subaru: While I sort of envy the kind of shift-rotations you have, I’m running out of time, so there’s no helping it…]
Six days―― or actually, only five, since a day had already passed . And considering that he’d have to spend a whole day’s travel time to get to and from the Mansion, there was really only three days he could use .
Wasting a precious half of a day sleeping wasn’t something he could afford, but, while Echidona already knew that Subaru could see the future, he was still hesitant about whether he should tell Lewes .
[Subaru: It might make the Witch of Envy show up, so better not just yet……]
Sweat popped up on his forehead the moment the shadowy, Sanctuary-devouring Witch flashed across his mind .
Somehow he just knew that the devastation was a result of him running his mouth in Echidona’s Citadel . Spilling forbidden knowledge out of reach of the Witch’s constraints, he had invited her wrath as well as everything that followed .
So, he’d consider it lucky if the Witch only dealt him the usual punishment in the real world, where she could directly lay her hands on him――
[Subaru: I do wanna try, but out of concern for other people’s lives… better not]
Deciding this in a deflated mumble, Subaru looked down at the dopey-looking Pico, standing there holding his left hand . On the receiving end of his gaze, as if in anticipation of another command, the girl’s round eyes grew even rounder .
It seems that Subaru’s first command had made her more aware of the transfer of command-authority . And now, Pico was like a baby bird looking up to its parent .
[Lewes: So, what does Su-bo plan to do next?]
[Subaru: Probably get back to the Mansion for now . There’s someone there I need to get some answers from…… and I’ll see Frederica while I’m at it . There’s a whole bunch of things she could clear up for me]
[Lewes: Frederica, huh……]
Mentioning the name of the hulking maid who popped into his mind, he saw a furrow in Lewes’ brows, as if there was some significance in hearing Subaru mention this name . After all, it wasn’t like Lewes to react this way .
[Subaru: Did that remind you of something? About Frederica?]
[Lewes: ……No, it’s nothing important]
[Subaru: Lewes-san, I’d rather not use my command authority if possible… I really don’t want to have to order Lewes-san to tell me]
Subaru shrinked up his shoulders, imploring her to tell him . But, underneath the words, his eyes sharpened as if clearly saying, “I’ll use it if I have to” . Seeing this, Lewes let out a sigh .
[Lewes: It was just that, ever since Frederica left, little by little, it feels like the Sanctuary’s gears have been slipping out of place]
[Subaru: Slipping out of place?]
[Lewes: The way it was, though I’m not sure if you could call it healthy…… hm, whether it was the residents, the Lewes Meyer replicants, or Gar-bo, none of them were as on edge as they are now]
[Subaru: …………]
[Lewes: You know, Su-bo, I have great expectations of you]
As Subaru fell silent, Lewes looked up and said this .
“Expectations” . He felt a tug on his chest as he heard it . Because the word reminded him of――
[Lewes: For the longest time, the Sanctuary had been awkwardly serving a purpose which it had already lost . That obstinance is now creating holes all over . That’s why I have great expectations of you, Su-bo]
[Subaru: What, could I……]
[Lewes: The Witch’s obsession, the reasons for the Sanctuary’s continued existence, and Lewes Meyer’s wish . I look forward to seeing you bring about a conclusion that fulfills everyone’s hopes in the end]
A far-too-heavy burden of bearing everyone’s expectations on his shoulders .
Subaru had the urge to immediately say “Can’t do it” . But, sensing Lewes’ solemn gaze,
[Subaru: ――――]
The words just stuck in his throat .
[Lewes: This is good . For now… it’s good enough]
Seeing Subaru’s hesitation and reluctance, as if understanding it all, Lewes nodded her head .
Her appearance was no older than a child’s, but it was in moments like this that Subaru understood that she possessed qualities befitting her age .
[Lewes: It seems, my time is almost up]
Leaving these words with a tinge of regret, Lewes’ body began to glow with a faint light .
It reminded him of a spirit on the verge of vanishing, he thought, as he reached out his fingers to her, but,
[Lewes: Don’t worry . I’m not returning to mana just yet . I’m just going to sleep for a while until I save up the expended mana again . There will be a Lewes to replace me soon]
[Subaru: But… even if your face and voice are all the same, you won’t be the same, right?]
[Lewes: I suppose you’re right . The looks and tone and personality are meant to be similar…… but we’re still different people . So, only this old self chatting with Su-bo right now is actually me . Does that make you feel lonely?]
[Subaru: It’s not whether I feel lonely or not . Lewes-san…… Lewes-san don’t you feel sad? Aren’t you upset that there are four people taking turns pretending to be Lewes Meyer? Don’t you ever wonder where your own life……]
Caught mid-sentence, Subaru realized just how cruel his questions were .
Even if Lewes herself thought this way, even if she truly suffered and grieved over her circumstances, Subaru knew full well that there was nothing he could do about it .
He had no grasp of arcane principles, detailed knowledge of mana, or even the most superficial understanding of magical algorithms . So what was the point of reaching out to these unreachable regrets?
Lewes seemed to understand his conflicting thoughts . She gave him a faint smile as her pink hair swayed in the wind, tinted by the colors of dawn .
[Lewes: What do you think, Su-bo?]
[Subaru: ――huh?]
[Lewes: The answer to that question… is just another one of the things I will eagerly expect from you]
Leaving this behind, like a thin haze, Lewes’ body melted into the morning light .
No different from a scattering mist, impossible to believe even with the warning beforehand, it was like a scene pulled straight from a dream . A living person simply vanished into the dawn .
Although she told him that she wouldn’t cease to exist, he found it hard to take her at her word .
But, in that same instant, the shape of another person appeared where Lewes had vanished . Whether it was stature or appearance, every last detail was identical to the Lewes who disappeared .
She shook her head once and looked up at Subaru,
[Lewes: I shouldn’t think I need to reintroduce myself, Su-bo . The previous “me” has filled me in all about you]
As if to clear up Subaru’s doubts, with that, the new Lewes updated their mutual understanding . And, at the very end, the girl tilted her head,
[Lewes: So, Su-bo…… what will you do first?]
[Subaru: Ah, right……]
He lifted his head .
Watching the light of dawn erode away the night’s sky, his thoughts slipped to the time that had passed, as well as the time that still remained to him .
Then his eyes dropped to Lewes and Pico, and,
[Subaru: First thing is to get out of the Sanctuary . I’ll need some help from Lewes-sans for that]
And just like this, Subaru submitted his request .