Chapter 50: old cows & young grass, let’s talk
(Part 1)
Hearing Qin Shuhan’s words, Lu Anwei’s movements froze and after 10 seconds, he continued to massage Qin Shuhan’s foot. “Don’t joke.”
“I’m not joking!” Qin Shuhan was filled with fury when she heard this kind of answer from Lu Anwei, only God knows how much courage it took her to say this….this kind of ‘invitation’ ah! Qin Shuhan’s face turned embarrassingly red and her eyes were indignant. “To, tonight there’s no one at home….you, you stay behind….”
“Don’t be impulsive.” Using a handkerchief to wipe Qin Shuhan’s foot, Lu Anwei said, “I don’t want you to regret it in the future.”
“I won’t regret it!” Qin Shuhan said firmly, in the past she has never believed in love at first sight, but after that Saturday afternoon, from the time she first laid her eyes on Lu Anwei, there was a voice in her heart telling her, “it is him! This is the person!”
From then on, she knew that she has gone crazy, she liked going to Lu Anran’s house, liked to stand at the window of Lu Anran’s room and search for his figure in the courtyard. She liked the feeling when she was discovered by him, and when both of their eyes meet….Lu Anwei was not handsome and there was an awful scar on his face, but she does not care about it, she has set her mind on Lu Anwei this person and this person only!
“You have a good rest tonight.” Lu Anwei did not dare to look at Qin Shuhan’s eyes. He was afraid that he would be unable to resist and make a mistake and end up wrecking her life. People like him who cannot give her a stable life, was full of selfishness, he does not wish for the woman he liked to live a life like Ji Rou, forever waiting for her husband to return home….he hopes that Qin Shuhan can find a honest and reliable man and live on happily in this lifetime.
“Don’t go!” Seeing Lu Anwei turning to leave, Qin Shuhan anxiously stood up, but suddenly felt a sharp pain in her foot and unsteadily wobbled. Lu Anwei hastily pulled Qin Shuhan into his embrace and just managed to catch her before her beautiful face smack onto the floor.
“Don’t go…” Qin Shuhan hugged Lu Anwei tightly and raised her head to look into his eyes. “I like you, from the very first time we met, I have already fallen for you! Don’t go……I’ll never regret it, forever….”
“Let go.” Lu Anwei was reluctant to push Qin Shuhan aside, afraid that she would get hurt again if he did that. In response, Qin Shuhan hugged him even tighter, so he could only reject her coldly, “you’re only temporarily caught in the heat of the moment, you’ll regret it when you calm down! There is nothing I can give you!” This was also the point Lu Anwei felt the most inferior about himself, he was unable to give Qin Shuhan a stable family, so he would not touch her.
“I’m not letting go! I don’t want anything! I only want you to stay behind!” Qin Shuhan tearfully looked at Lu Anwei, she knew very clearly in her heart that if Lu Anwei leave today, then it was possible that she would never have be able to meet him ever again! She does not want that! Never!
“Shuhan….” Gazing into Qin Shuhan eyes, Lu Anwei’s heart clenched painfully, “you’ll regret it! let go….”
“I’m not letting go!” Qin Shuhan hugged him even tighter, like a starving hamster who got her hands on a melon seed after much difficulty.
It was very hard for Lu Anwei to remain unswayed, as he felt the softness in his arms. Qin Shuhan who was aware of the change in Lu Anwei’s body, wrapped her arms fiercely around his neck, tiptoed with some effort and kissed Lu Anwei’s mouth.
His mouth suddenly felt a rush of sweetness followed by a tongue as tender as a lilac pushed in and teased his tongue in jerky movements.
Slowly losing his senses, Lu Anwei’s arms wrapped itself tightly around Qin Shuhan’s waist, replying Qin Shuhan’s enthusiastic invitation.
As Qin Shuhan kissed Lu Anwei, she slowly moved her arms away from Lu Anwei’s neck and glide it downwards to his waist, where she slipped her hands into his shirt and touched Lu Anwei’s burning body. The countless scars on his body led Qin Shuhan to feel distressed and her tears flowed down uncontrollably.
Tasting a slightly salty flavour in his mouth, Lu Anwei stopped and stared at crying like a pear blossom bathed in rain and hoarsely said, “I’m leaving….” He was too impulsive, he was a mess after only being kissed and almost did something that would hurt her.
“Don’t go….” Qin Shuhan buried her face into Lu Anwei’s chest, “I don’t want you to go.”
“Go to sleep, I’ll sit here and leave after you fall asleep.” Lu Anwei gently hugged Qin Shuhan and patted her head, the desire in his eyes was still burning strongly, but he was restraining himself.
“I’m not sleeping….” Qin Shuhan unbuttoned the button on her shirt one by one, “I said it before, I won’t regret it.”
Chapter 50: old cows & young grass, let’s talk
(Part 2)
Seeing Qin Shuhan smooth skin exposed, Lu Anwei stood immobile in surprise for a moment before sharply turning his head away and rasped out, “Shuhan….” Lu Anwei himself was also only 23 years of age and was right at the age where he is very hot-blooded, so he is currently putting all his energy into restraining himself.
“Don’t forget, I’m older than you, you don’t need to teach me what to do! I’m the teacher!” Qin Shuhan muttered with a pout, she just past her 26th birthday this year as compared to 23 years old Lu Anwei, she is older than him by 3 years! Thinking of this, Qin Shuhan’s eyes shifted around guiltily, the her now, does it count as her robbing the cradle ah!
“…..” Naturally Lu Anwei knows that Qin Shuhan is a little older than him, but to Lu Anwei who have experience near death situations from young in the military, Qin Shuhan’s mental age much younger than him.
“I don’t care! I have already decided to sleep with you today!” Qin Shuhan bulldozed ahead, after all she has already undressed until like this, so she must definitely grab hold of Lu Anwei! Qin Shuhan who came back from studying abroad seeked equality between both genders and has the belief that girls who are in a relationship without equality meant that they would be taken advantage of easily. Nobody would be at a disadvantage. She wass already 26 years old, it was her own decision to do whatever she wants.
Hearing Qin Shuhan’s words, Lu Anwei does not whether he should laugh or cry, she wants to sleep with him? This girl is really…
Qin Shuhan did not give Lu Anwei any time to reject her and immediately hugged him again and kissed him, successfully blocking off all of Lu Anwei’s refusals.
Gradually, Qin Shuhan’s body softened and under Lu Anwei’s possession bloom into the most beautiful flower….
…..
The bright sunlight shined through the thin window drapes into the room, and a small head unstably popped out of the blankets. Qin Shuhan sleepily looking around her own room and realised her body hurt like after she got into a fight. When she flipped open her blankets to sit up, the originally white and soft skin was filled with love bites.
“Ss….” Qin Shuhan sucked in a breathe at the pain, her face blushing slightly.
She looked around her and did not see Lu Anwei anywhere, a glimmer of disappointment flickered through her heart but there was nothing she was unsatisfied with, after all she willingly slept with Lu Anwei. Also, the both of them were adults, so there was nothing about anyone being forced.
She flipped open the blankets and crawled out of her bed to wear her pyjamas while enduring the pain. Walking forward in her slippers, she turned around and saw the bedsheets stained red by blood. Qin Shuhan’s face went hot with embarrassment and quickly pulled off the bedsheets, crumpling it into a ball and throwing them onto the floor, silently planning to wash it after she took a shower.
As she exited her room to enter the bathroom, images from last night flashed across her mind like an old film roll making Qin Shuhan feel so embarrassed that she squatted on the floor hugging her knees for a long while before standing up again. She did a basic wash up and exited the bathroom to enter her room again. It was only after she finished wearing her clothes that she realized that the bedsheets that she was planning to wash had disappeared.
Qin Shuhan left her room to go downstairs and caught sight of the bedsheets that she was planning to wash was already washed clean and hung up on the veranda to dry. Hearing sounds coming from the kitchen, Qin Shuhan subconsciously frowned. Is Mum back already?
Just as Qin Shuhan was in a daze, Lu Anwei walked out of the kitchen carrying a bowl of porridge he had just cooked and said to Qin Shuhan, “ Finished showering? Come over and eat this while it’s still hot.”
“You…” Qin Shuhan stared at Lu Anwei in surprise and said, “you didn’t leave ah?” She assumed that Lu Anwei has already left! Seeing Lu Anwei suddenly appear in front of her, Qin Shuhan was stunned for a moment and felt her heart fill up with warmth. What should she do…. She was falling for this man even more than before!
“Where should I go ah?” Lu Anwei carried the bowl to the dining table, “Quickly come and eat the porridge, be careful it’s hot.” He was not very confident in his cooking skills and nervously watched Qin Shuhan as she ate the porridge he cooked bite by bite. When he saw that she did not dislike it, Lu Anwei felt relieved.
“You….” Qin Shuhan felt a bit shy as she ate the porridge and sneaked glances at Lu Anwei who was focused on her with all his attention.
“Let’s talk!” Lu Anwei had a heavy heart. His original intention was to maintain appropriate distance with Qin Shuhan, but since things have already become like this, it was definitely impossible for the situation to return to its original state. His mind was in a turmoil. He was a man and as a man he must be responsible, no matter if it was towards the country or to his family, it was all the same!
He could only tell her everything about his status and identity, and hoped that Qin Shuhan could understand and accept him. If it was not possible, Lu Anwei would not selfishly cling onto her, although he loves her very deeply, but if she refuses him, then he would not force her…..
“What is there to talk about!” Qin Shuhan cannot help but admit that when she saw Lu Anwei’s awkward expression, her heart throbbed with pain. She knew very clearly in her heart that it was her who forced Lu Anwei to sleep with her, he had already rejected her so many times, but it was her own wilfulness. This morning Lu Anwei did not leave before she woke up and even washed the bedsheet, and cooked breakfast for her, Qin Shuhan was already very happy.
From the beginning, she never had the intention to let Lu Anwei be responsible for her, but Lu Anwei was a man of honour, and now Lu Anwei must be thinking of being responsible for her. For him to be responsible for someone he does not love, it was hard enough for him!
Thinking until here, Qin Shuhan choked up and her eyes went slightly moist with tears. She felt so ridiculous, there were so many people who loved her, who chased after her but there was not a single one that she liked. Yet, she herself finally managed to fall in love with a man but he does not love her…. From the start, Lu Anwei has been rejecting her, and has never once said that he loved her. Since it was so, what was the point of forcing him to be responsible for her? She had already forcibly had him for one whole night, she should be contented already right?
So, since it is all her own unrequited love, then she does not mind personally drawing a full stop onto this originally loveless relationship!
😦 Awww … Darn…