Chapter 56 | Handsome Stranger
* * *
Valentia was standing still in front of the clinic.
This was the day she’d made her appointment, but unlike when she first made her decision, she hesitated—unable to take another step further.
All she had to do was go inside, take the medicine, and within a few days, everything would go back to normal. For both herself and for Lexus, she knew that was the right answer. That was a decision she’d made up after calculating everything.
So why couldn’t she walk in?
Why did she keep thinking of Goldie’s expectant and big black eyes? Why couldn’t she stop thinking about him, burying his face into her belly?
[???] “Hello? Mind if I ask for a little bit of help with directions?”
As a voice called out to her, Valentia’s mind went blank the moment she turned to look at them.
Was it possible for a human to look like this? She was met with a beautiful face of pure and flawless skin—someone so fantastically beautiful that it was difficult to tell if they were a man or a woman at first glance.
But she quickly shook herself back to her senses.
[Valentia] “Oh, I have time. Where are you headed?”
This time, it was the person in front of her who was a little dazed.
[Man] “Is there something on my face?”
This person before her was so immaculately beautiful in comparison to one such as her, so she narrowly thought he might’ve made a mistake calling out to her like this, or that she perhaps misheard him when she was asking her for help.
[Valentia] “Oh, no, that’s not it. But you said you needed directions?”
[Man] “I think I might be lost. I’m trying to get to Haydin Boulevard. It should be straight ahead and then take a right at the first alley, then a left, and then another carriage ride before I’m there, right?”
[Valentia] “That’s exactly right. That’s the way.”
He told her he was lost, but he seemed to know his way perfectly well.
That boulevard was famous for being rather wealthy. Now that she was looking at him a bit closely, this man’s clothing wasn’t really in line with what was considered trendy these days, and she assumed he must’ve had them custom made.
[Man] “I thought so, but I can’t find the place I’m looking for. Well, this is the right place, but it’s just not how I remember it being.”
[Valentia] “Has it been a while since you’ve last been here?”
[Man] “I wouldn’t put it that way. But it’s strange…..hm…..Do you have anything troubling you?”
When such a man smiled so brightly, it was difficult acting coldly towards him.
[Valentia] “……No.”
[Man] “But you’re standing in front of the clinic. Are you hurt? If you’re sick, then you have to go inside quickly. It might get even more scary and painful if you try and hold it in.”
Valentia couldn’t help but smile. Listening to how this man spoke, he sounded almost like a little kid.
[Valentia] “That’s not it.”
[Man] “Then as expected, you have something on your mind, don’t you?”
[Valentia] “. . .”
[Man] “This must be fate. Would you like me to help shoulder your burdens for you?”
Not a coincidence, but fate, he insisted.
His sweet and beautiful face coupled with his friendly and personable attitude overshadowed all else, but somehow, he gave off the atmosphere of a man who’d probably made his fair share of women cry.
[Valentia] “Why are you doing this?”
[Man] “Why don’t we call it repaying the favor for pointing me in the right direction?”
But Valentia didn’t even give him any directions. When he asked her about the path, the one he recounted was completely accurate, with Valentia merely confirming it for him.
She was going to tell him to never mind that fact and just be on his way, but Valentia couldn’t bring herself to say that out loud.
This was something that she couldn’t confide in anyone about, but at the same time, it was also something that was far too heavy for Valentia to carry by herself.
And so she wondered, for someone who held no investment into her circumstances, how would he answer her questions?
[Valentia] “I don’t know you and you don’t know me, so is it alright if I speak freely?”
[Man] “As a token of my thanks, I will treat you to a cup of tea.”
[Valentia] “That would be nice. I’d rather not talk about this in the middle of the street.”
Walking a short ways off, she followed the man into a small but private looking cafe. The man ordered himself a coffee, and Valentia, who was about to do the same, sighed before changing her mind and ordering warm milk instead.
Their drinks came out quickly. The man took a single sip of his coffee, then proceeded to frown as if he disliked it. Setting down his cup, he looked at Valentia.
[Man] “What troubles you so, my lady?”
Holding her glass of milk in her hands, Valentia awkwardly tapped her fingers against it.
[Valentia] “I have a friend who is very dear to me.”
[Man] “Yes?”
[Valentia] “She just found out that she’s pregnant. She’s not really in a situation where she’d be able to raise them comfortably, so she’s not sure whether it would be a good idea to give birth or……..”
[Man] “She must be thinking whether it would be for the best to stop things now while she can.”
[Valentia] “Yes. She knows what choice is the right one, but for some reason, she keeps getting the feeling that she’ll end up regretting things if she makes this decision.”
The man took another sip of his coffee, tilting his head with a smile on his face.
[Man] “No matter what choice your friend makes, her child will say it’s alright.”
[Valentia] “What makes you so certain?”
[Man] “For a child, their mother’s happiness comes before all else.”
[Valentia] “Oh.”
[Man] “And I know that because it was the same for me as well.”
She knew what he was trying to tell her, but she wasn’t really sure she could understand it all that well.
Valentia was never really given the chance to live her life in the shoes of a child. Clearly, she was loved by her mother at some point, but that was so many years ago that she could hardly remember it anymore, and so those memories faded within the current version of Valentia.
But this man’s words didn’t seem like a lie.
[Valentia] “You as well?”
[Man] “My mother raised me all by herself.”
[Valentia] “…….Was it hard for her?”
[Man] “Obviously it wasn’t easy, but not once did she ever show her difficulties to me. She only ever told me that she loved me, and though we didn’t have much, I was very happy because we had each other. We had our family.”
[Valentia] “Family….”
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Valentia murmured the word. Somehow, they seemed to dig deeply into her heart.
She never really considered this before, but Valentia did not have a family, and the people within the barony could never be considered such. That was why she kept her mind so focused on her future, determined to be happy by herself.
[Valentia] “…….Truthfully, my friend is very scared. Her mother died when she was very young, so she doesn’t even know what a good mother looks like.”
But to be honest, that was probably the scariest part.
What if she can’t make her baby happy once they’re born? What if she ends up resenting them because of all she had to give up just to provide for them? All that frustration—brewing because she regretted the decision of giving birth to them at all.
[Man] “I think her child will be happy if she chooses to become a mother. Just like I was.
[Valentia] “How can you be so certain?”
[Man] “Because bad mothers don’t worry about becoming good.”
[Valentia] “I….Thank you. I feel better now.”
Such a strange man.
At any other time, she would not have accepted this kind of request—going off and getting a drink with a man she’d never met before, sharing all of her worries and troubles with him. But talking to this man was a very comfortable experience.
[Valentia] “Where were you heading off to?”
[Man] “Oh, I was actually just on my way to see my mother.”
[Valentia] “Ah, I’m sorry, I took up so much of your time.”
[Man] “No, this was a good conversation. But I do need to go see my mother now. I have some good news I’d like to share with her.”
[Valentia] “Good news?”
[Man] “My lady is pregnant.”
[Valentia] “Oh, congratulations.”
[Man] “And congratulations to you, too.”
The man gave a casual wink, and Valentia widened her eyes.
Obviously, she had a feeling he would notice that most of her ‘friend’s’ worries were actually just her own. Instead of being shocked that he realized she was talking about herself, she was more caught off guard by something else.
She was surprised to hear the word ‘congratulations’.
[Valentia] “Thank you.”
[Man] “You are very welcome. May you always be happy.”
[Valentia] “And you as well.”
Then, the man leaned closer, and Valentia’s eyes widened against he gave her a light kiss on her forehead, smiling softly as he did. Valentia’s hand went to touch where he had kissed her, looking up at him with open eyes.
To kiss a woman he’d met for the first time on the forehead like this, it was an incredibly rude thing that should never be done.
But strangely, she didn’t feel too bad about it.
[Man] “It was nice to meet you. Farewell.”
* * *
Unlike before, when she paced around the entrance, her mind was more settled and she was able to go inside with more ease.
Her heart was so much calmer than it was before that when she saw the doctor’s ever exhausted looking expression, she was even able to smile slightly at it, thinking that some things just never change.
[Doctor] “I’ve had some of the medicine prepared. Have you finished organizing your thoughts?”
[Valentia] “I know you worked hard to make it, but I’m sorry.”
[Doctor] “What do you mean?”
[Valentia] “I don’t want to take it.”
The doctor pushed his face off from leaning on his hands, his eyes finally leaving the chart in front of him as he looked straight at Valentia.
[Doctor] “You do understand what you’re saying, yes?”
[Valentia] “I understand.”
[Doctor] “And you’ve truly made this decision?”
Though he always looked so listless and bored, a look of anxiety and nervousness flashed across the doctor’s expression.
The more relaxed Valentia’s heart became, the more the attitude of this doctor appeared different in her eyes. Though she thought he was somewhat cynical and apathetic considering his position, now that she was thinking about it, if he had been truly as uncaring as she thought, he would have accepted her choice without asking any questions.
[Valentia] “Yes. I will still pay for the trouble you went through to make this medicine, though.”
[Doctor] “That’s not why I’m asking. Right now, it’s only a bundle of cells that weighs less than ten grams. Do you truly wish to bet your life on this?”
[Valentia] “Yes.”
[Doctor] “It’s not easy raising a child alone in this country.”
She thought about that, too. There were so many things she would have to give up if she wanted to have this baby. The life she had spent her entire existence dreaming of, working hard for this entire time, would disappear in a flash.
But even so, she wanted to give birth to this child. They wouldn’t have two parents like most others, but regardless, this was her baby and so she would raise them.
[Valentia] “This baby is my only family.”
When she said that, the doctor couldn’t say anything more.
Never before did she have anyone she could call her family, but this child—they would be the only family she would choose for herself.
[Doctor] “The latest this medicine can be used is in two weeks, After around a month and a half, other things can be done, but unlike this, they aren’t minor inconveniences.”
The doctor’s meaning was clear. If she ever changed her mind, she was welcome to come back.
[Valentia] “Thank you.”
[Doctor] “Next patient, come in.”
And like it never left, his tired expression returned as he looked back down at his chart, calling in the next patient waiting. With a light heart, Valentia stood up from her seat and left.
Walking out of the hospital, she also felt very calm and serene. No, dare she say she even felt a little happy?
She already knew that even if she were not pregnant, she would never be able to refer to that man as being a part of her family.
But she always thought, a long way down the line, even if he were to get married to another woman, she would be okay as long as she could occasionally see him from a distance. But now that she was making this decision, she would never see him again.
[Valentia] “It’s alright. I’m okay with being alone.
It was fine. She was always alone anyway, so this was just a mere continuation of how things always were. Or no–she was always alone at the start, but she would not be alone ever again in the future.
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[Valentia] “But being together would be better.”
Isn’t that right, my baby?
She felt like her stomach was getting warmer.
At two months, like the doctor said, her baby was only a bundle of cells, weighing not even ten grams. Obviously it could not understand her, but somehow, she felt like they were listening.
* * *