Prologue
I thought it was like a dream.
Feelings of guilt and shame seethed in my heart. But hidden somewhere was a sense of excitement like I’m doing something naughty.
Is it really ok for me to do something like this with him?
The mild confusion I felt was drowned out by a heart-fluttering kiss. My mind went completely blank.
“Whooo… ”
Although the princess was bewildered, she felt a sense of pleasure from the steadily deepening embrace.
In front of her stood a blonde-haired, green-eyed prince.
Caressing her cheeks and covering her lips with his, she sighed deeply at the warmth of his hands.
Gazing into his eyes which sparkled like jewels, the anxiety and confusion she had felt up to then mysteriously disappeared and a feeling of joy filled her heart.
She had never expected someone would make her feel this way. Even more so, that it would be him.
The moment his palm stroked her back, she suddenly came back to her senses.
“Mm… W-wait”
Looking at the flustered princess pushing against his chest, a slight smile crawled across the prince’s face.
“What’s wrong?’
She felt an intense surge of regret at the sound of his tender voice.
You keep your mouth shut. Don’t let it out.
Nevertheless, she wanted to repay those eyes full of sincerity.
The princess made up her mind. Breathless, she timidly looked up at the prince.
“So… so the thing is…”
——But, what if he hates me?
Upon opening her mouth, the apprehension returned. But she had to say it, “I’m actually a man.”
Silently watching him with her green eyes wide open, the princess remembered how everything started.
“You gotta be freaking kidding me.”
Ishiki Yuuri left the pub making his displeasure clear.
On weeknights, the bar street was crawling with office workers and university students around his age. Nimbly avoiding the clusters of people, Yuuri briskly made his way toward the station.
“Wait up, I said!”
Running up from behind with a flustered look was his friend Tabata Riku.
During the day, he’d said “there’s something I need to talk to you about no matter what” with a serious face and called Yuuri out here.
The guy’s been a thorn in his side since middle school, but Yuuri came anyway worrying about what on earth could be troubling him. It was nothing. Just a mixer.
“See, you jerk, if I’d asked you straight out you wouldn’t have come.”
“That’s obvious since I’m not freaking interested. I even went out of my way to get someone to cover my shift. What a waste of time.”
“Don’t say that. It’s not a bad thing to have fun every now and then. Aren’t the girls today a hit?”
When he glared at him silently with a look saying ‘that’s got nothing to do with me’, Riku stopped as though he’d finally gotten the message.
“Fine, my bad. But if you don’t have fun today, when will you have fun?”
Without looking back, Yuuri responded to the friend he’d turned his back on with a wave of his hand.
I don’t have time to play around.
Since his father left when he was young, Yuuri’s mom raised him and his younger sister of three years, Aika, on her own.
Yuuri, raised by a mom who was constantly working, raising them, or doing chores, got a job as soon as he started high school. All of the money he earned went to the family. It wasn’t something his mom expected of him. Rather, she urged him to save what he earned to spend on himself. Her family would sometimes wire money to help, and it wasn’t like they were living in extreme poverty.
Even then, since he was the man of the house, he had the responsibility to protect his mom and sister should the need arise. Since he was a child, he had always wanted to hurry up and become an adult so he can help his mom out.
However, three years ago, his mom announced that there was someone she was considering getting remarried to. Both Yuuri and his sister Aika weren’t so immature as to reject this new family. For their mother who had suffered for so long, they wished her happiness from the bottom of their hearts.
The guy, her boss, was an entrepreneur who owned several stores. Thanks to him, their life became more comfortable than before. He also encouraged him to go to university, which Yuuri had been hesitant about.
Despite that, Yuuri felt a strange sense of unease.
It wasn’t that he disliked his new father figure. Their relationship was good too. Nevertheless, he felt uncomfortable. Like he’d unexpectedly lost his own place.
This feeling he doesn’t understand was unpleasant. It would be even more unpleasant for his parents to find out, so Yuuri absorbed himself in his job. Since he could only feel at ease while working, it was enough to not think about anything else. Through work, Yuuri withstood these feelings he couldn’t express in words.
But today was a wash. That brat—from now on, I won’t care no matter what’s troubling him.
The living room was quiet when he got home. Come to think of it, in the morning he was going out to eat with just him and his parents. Aika, who was going to be a high school sophomore, was probably at her part-time job or hanging out with her friends.
Suddenly feeling exhausted, he was going to lie down on the sofa when he stepped on something.
What’s this?
Looking at it, it was a novella for women. A golden-haired man and a brown-haired woman wearing western-style clothing were depicted on the cover. Maybe Aika left it here after reading it.
She finds this kind of thing interesting?
This type of entertainment had nothing to do with him, but his little sister often enjoyed reading books like these.
Nonchalantly starting to read, it was the story of a prince and town girl. The heroine, who had lost her memory, met the prince who warmly took care of her, letting her stay at the castle until she regained her memory. While she was there, she and the prince got closer… something like that. But, the more he progressed, the more he thought; is this something that a high schooler should read? It was full of risqué scenes. As an older brother, he had mixed feelings.
Yuuri wasn’t particularly interested in love. Due to his trim and androgynous appearance, girls kept approaching him even if he ignored them. So he’d never had any trouble with the opposite sex.
The more he continued to read, the more he felt that he had never experienced these kinds of emotions himself.
Being twenty already, if he said these kinds of things out loud he’d get made fun of, so he never spoke of it; however, he’d probably never truly liked someone. His sister who’s still basically a kid has likely advanced further than that.
As the story finally approached its climax, a hint of restlessness started to drift around the prince and the heroine. Then…
“Oh, bro, you were home.”
“Ack!”
He jumped at the sudden voice. He looked at his sister Aika who was examining his expression.
“W-what… you were here?”
“My shift got changed so I’m off. Is it interesting?”
“Aah… I was just flipping through it.”
He then realized two hours had passed since he started reading. But it was embarrassing to be reading a romance novel so enthusiastically, so he tossed it on the couch with an attitude like he’d just picked it up a moment ago. “Hmph,” his sister replied, then headed to the kitchen with disinterest. He instinctively stood up.
“Ah, did you eat? Should I make something?”
When his mom wasn’t there, making meals was Yuuri’s job. It was a deeply ingrained habit. Even now when it was just the two of them, he felt the need to do something and inadvertently headed to the fridge.
Aika shook her head with a bitter smile.
“I can do things myself since I’m not a kid anymore. Since you’ve taken a rare day off, why don’t you relax a bit?”
“What’s with that?”
“It’s because you’ve been doing nothing but part-time jobs and housework since high school. We’ve got Shinichiro now, you don’t need to work so much. You’re a university student, after all, enjoy yourself a little!”
Shinichiro is our step-dad. Similar to the words Riku spewed at him just a few hours ago, an unpleasant memory somehow came to mind.
“I don’t really…”
“Mom is worried about you, too. You’re still worrying about things at home. You don’t need to hover over me, either. It’s about time you find a hobby.”
Get a hobby… right…
Taking care of my sister and the house since I was a kid, that ended up being all I could do. I lived like that was my duty up until now, so even now if I were told to go out and have fun I wouldn’t know what to do.
But, like Aika said, his mom had a new partner now. His sister was at the age where she could make her meals herself. He didn’t need to work morning to night. In order to make things even a little bit easier on himself, there was no need to work like a dog while taking classes.
Even though things have been moving in a better direction for a while, only Yuuri couldn’t go with the flow.
When he realized, once again that indescribable uneasiness filled his heart.
PR/N: The original story alternates between first-person and third-person limited, both from Yuuri’s perspective, so yes, the she/her ‘princess’ at the start of this chapter was also Yuuri. In the next chapter you’ll see that he’s still referred to he/him. But it’s my personal guess that this will change later in the story as Yuuri comes to accept his new identity (like in Mr. Queen, this is a great watch btw if you haven’t seen it yet).
I’ll probably come back and edit this note after I’ve confirmed it. I only get to read it a little earlier than you guys atm so it’ll be a surprise for me too!
UPDATE: His pronouns change at the end of chapter 2.