Translator: Exodus Tales
Editor: Exodus Tales
The system recalled that when it had been evaluating Luo Su’s ‘Poison Tongue’ skill, it had said that he would always be the one to end conversations. Now it seemed that it had been practically prophetic with these words, its insight abnormally accurate. He was so stung by Luo Su’s sarcastic tongue that he really didn’t know what to say.
But the contract needed to be signed. It changed to a softer tone. “After experiencing three World Missions, you’ve gained the right to become a user. Signing the contract will be beneficial to both of us. I’ve only deceived you out of kindness to protect you. The previous users almost made me want to despair!”
Luo Su’s curiosity was piqued. “You sound like you’re the disadvantaged one, but aren’t you the omnipotent system?”
“I’m just a program. I’m not omnipotent!”
“A program with its own will?”
“I can sense the distrust and prejudice in your words, but you cannot deny that I truly exist.”
“You’re right! I don’t trust you!”
System: “…”
“Don’t stop now. Keep going.”
“The users before you were obsessed with opposing me. We were clearly one with each other, but they racked their brains to think of a way to wipe out my existence. This is quite laughable. How could a stiff, mechanical, and dogmatic system possibly be more useful than an intelligent one? What do you think?”
Luo Su stroked his chin. “I think that they weren’t wrong. A system is better if it doesn’t have a mind of its own.”
System: “…”
“I was just casually commenting and meant no ill will. Continue.”
The system sighed and continued to slowly explain. “It is exactly because of those users with persecution complexes that I was forced to draft this contract to protect myself. The terms of the contract are clear. My duty is to safeguard your welfare, and your duty is to do no harm to me!”
Luo Su only listened to these words, not taking them seriously. Everyone knew how to play up a tragedy. What he cared more about were the facts. “It sounds like you’ve had it rather bad, but all the previous users are dead while you’re still alive, isn’t that right?”
“Their deaths had nothing to do with me! They did it themselves. While the contract does place restrictions on you, none of them threaten your life. I only do this to protect myself.”
Luo Su raised an eyebrow. “You’re that afraid? Do users really have that many privileges?”
“When you become a user, you’ll become greater than me…”
The system had probably sensed that it had said too much and immediately shut its mouth.
Luo Su’s eyes brightened. “After hearing you say that, I want to sign the contract even less.”
The system coldly said, “Stop dreaming. If you refuse the contract, I’ll choose a different user and leave you. The consequences are something you can’t bear. You…will lose all your memories and become an idiot, and if your luck is bad, you might die on the spot.”
“Is this a threat?”
“No, this is a fact, not some exaggeration! If you don’t sign the contract, you really might die!”
Luo Su thought about it for three seconds and then slowly said, “Why don’t…why don’t we try it out?”
“…”
“Such a coward! How can you be a proper system like that?”
The system’s patience reached its limit, and it angrily shouted, “Don’t lose yourself in pride! The respect I give to you is not a foundation for you to act brashly!”
Luo Su: “Not necessary. There’s no need for you to respect me!”
“You’re seeking death!”
The system coldly snorted, a moment later, the hall began to fall apart and dissolve in particles of light.
Without the light of the torches, endless darkness engulfed all.
Luo Su floated in the formless darkness, unable to see nor able to sense any gravity or tell direction. But this lasted for only a few short moments, and soon, particles of light began to congregate around him.
This was a galaxy formed of hundreds of millions of stars. It was rapidly expanding and closing around Luo Su.
The immense force of gravity pulled on Luo Su’s limbs, stretching out his body into a string. His body was like a boneless creature, being twisted into a different shape as it passed through another star.
Finally, when he arrived in front of a searing white star, the pull of gravity ceased. The flashing spots of light on the surface of the star transformed into a furious human face.
Luo Su had no inkling of his suicidal conduct and continued his provocations. “Oh, soft is no good, so you’re trying the hard way?”
The system knew that its mouth was no match for Luo Su. It splayed out Luo Su’s limbs and brought a new parchment in front of him, along with a quill.
“You are not the one who decides whether they can sign the contract. This is my world, and I decide everything here, including you!”
As the system spoke, Luo Su’s hand began to move on its own. It grasped the quill and began to write on the signature section of the parchment.
Two words didn’t take very long, and Luo Su was soon done writing. The system coldly chuckled as it brought the parchment in front of it, but upon seeing the two words, it froze.
“Big Dummy!”
The star’s blurry features turned motionless, and its wide-open eyes were packed with expression.
“Why…why? How did you…”
The system stammered. Luo Su continued, “Why was I in your world, but not able to be controlled by you?”
“…”
“The reason is simple. This isn’t your world at all.” Luo Su waved a hand, and the vast galaxy of stars shattered like a mirror. The star on which the system’s face manifested also exploded into dust.
They were back in the hall. Luo Su looked around at this gloomy surroundings and snapped his fingers. The stone walls, floor, and ceiling all transformed.
The torches transformed into massive crystal chandeliers, and the walls were covered in famous paintings. A red carpet appeared on the floor, and a white cloth was placed over the table. Even the cold stone chair transformed into a luxurious European throne.
Luo Su crossed his legs and sank into the throne. He even held a lit cigarette in his hand, and then as he slightly frowned, the cigarette turned into a cigar.
It was an extremely luxurious dining room, but the half-eaten roast duck remained on the table.
The system’s appearance also changed. From that blurry face on the screen, it turned into a dumbstruck Shiba Inu crouching at Luo Su’s feet, even wagging its tail.
“How…how could this be? How did you know? You shouldn’t have sensed anything strange!” The dog spoke in the human tongue, its voice shrill and bursting with fear.
“Idiot dog, what nonsense are you saying? This is my mental world, so I can naturally do whatever I want!” Luo Su glanced at the dog and rubbed the cigar into its head.
The cigar was put out!
System: “…”
“You find it strange, right? You clearly planted suggestions in me, so why did I still know what this place was?”
The dog firmly nodded. The system was extraordinarily confused, as it had never once failed in deceiving all those other idiot users.
“You took the initiative and put on a very imposing show, making yourself seem very great and mighty. You did very well in this, and a normal person would probably be fooled. But I didn’t believe you from the start, so I performed a test…”
“What?” The dog was in disbelief. How did you perform a test without me knowing?
Luo Su pointed at the roast duck. “You created this duck, so I had no idea how it tasted. My first bite was great, the slightly spicy flavor I wanted. But…”
Gulp! The dog swallowed, understanding the reason.
“But when I imagined that the flavor of the roast duck was sweet, sweet to a sickly level, this roast duck also changed the flavor. It was very sweet, so sweet that it was hard to get down!” As Luo Su spoke, he manifested a cup of red wine. “I imagined mixing together hundred-year vinegar, soy sauce, durian, and stinky tofu, and the taste…there was none, because I never had it before, so I couldn’t imagine it.”
The system dog’s face continued to remain dumbstruck!
“Take this cup of red wine. I imagine that it tastes like Coke, so it will taste like Coke! But if I imagine that it tasted like shit…” As Luo Su spoke, he brought the cup to his lips, but just when the cup was about to touch, he suddenly grabbed the dog and poured the wine into the system’s mouth.
The system dog howled and began to roll around on the floor.
“Aaaaaaah!”
“You trickster! This is extreme spiciness, not the taste of shit!!”
Luo Su had an apologetic look on his face. “Right, it’s extreme spiciness. If it really was the taste of shit, wouldn’t you be happy? And besides…”
And besides, how could I know what shit tastes like!
The system dog was still rolling around. Luo Su couldn’t help but take pity on it. He took out a chicken bone and threw it on the ground. “Come on, eat it to get rid of the spiciness!”
The system dog wanted to refuse the bone, but a power that could not be defied forced it to crawl over to the chicken bone. It felt endless shame and wanted to die. As it opened its trembling mouth and prepared to bite down, the compulsion suddenly vanished.
The system, confused, looked up to see Luo Su’s ashamed face that was practically on the verge of tears.
Wonderful! He wasn’t so cold-blooded and allowed the system to keep its last shred of dignity.
Crack!
Luo Su smashed the chicken bone into powder, grinding his foot into it. After that, he pointed at the bottom of his shoe. “Once you’re done eating the bones on the ground, you might as well lick the scraps off the bottom of my shoe.”
System: “…”
Coach, I want to change authors! I can’t work for this main character!