Chapter 151 – A Second Opinion
Although Lila had a pretty face, it was different from her image in the mirror. The face she saw there was always lifeless. But in the painting of Hir, she was smiling as bright as the morning sky.
Do I look like this only from Hir’s perspective, or do I always have a face like this when I look at Hir?
“Why don’t you frame it?” Suggested Jane. “I think it would be really nice to have it as decoration on the wall.”
Lila nodded keenly. “Yes, I think that would be nice.”
“Hmm.” Jane studied Lila’s office room trying to find a suitable spot. “This side of the wall is empty. I’ll try to put it in a frame to put it up here.”
“Thanks, Jane.” Lila could feel a smile slowly creeping on her face, the spot on the wall was perfect for her work, as she often faced the left side of the room from her desk.
Picturing the drawing on the wall in her mind made the room feel much more vivid as compared to its current monochromatic state.
“You look happy.” Commented Jane, interrupting her imaginative mind.
“How can I not be?”
“You seemed to be less energetic in the past couple of days but I’m happy to see you smiling like this. I’m sure you would’ve been even happier if the young master gave you this directly.”
“…”
Would I be? Lila thought that she was able to express all her feelings because Hir didn’t come to see her. If Hir himself gave her his drawing, her face would’ve been covered in guilt.
“He seemed quite busy,” said Jane, taking note of her silence.
“Hir seemed busy?”
Since she purposely extended her schedule to shorten the conversation time with Hir, she couldn’t even know how Hir was doing. So having Jane send her this information was a godsend.
“There’s been heavy rain for the past couple of days, right?” Jane asked.
“Yes.”
“During that time, he almost didn’t come out of his room as he spent most of his time practicing swordsmanship with his teacher. He would skip meals for practice, which made me feel uneasy”
“He practiced with Hizette? In his room?” Lila didn’t understand how they could have done swordsmanship practice indoors, it was her first time hearing of this. She assumed that Hizette took initiative for them to train indoors to avoid Hir getting a cold in the rain.
But he’s been concentrating on his swordsmanship practice to the point of skipping his meals? She also couldn’t understand the reason behind skipping mealtimes, no matter how hard he was training he had to eat in between.
Lila’s face suddenly dropped, she covered her lips with her palm in a fit of utter shock.
Jane noticed her sudden sense of urgency. “What’s wrong?!”
“Is Hir still in his room practicing?”
“Uh… Yes Ah, come to think of it, why is he continuing with his practice inside when the rain has already stopped? He still hasn’t come out of his room.”
“Is that so….” Lila calmed down a little after realizing that Hir must have been practicing ring control. If he’s concentrating on it this hard, isn’t that a sign that they made some progress? Lila shuddered at the fact that what she had read in the novel was coming true.
She felt ashamed. When she showed her ring to Hir, she imagined herself being with him while he developed it, however, she was stained with messy emotions and forgot what was important. She wanted to know how Hir was doing but since she tried so hard to not hear any news related to Hir, Jane probably wouldn’t have told her anything about him as well. These moments interlocked and eventually turned out like this.
“Should I go and see Hir?” Lila failed to realize that she had been thinking out loud.
“Why are you hesitating? Of course, you can. And The young master will also want to see you, Madam Lila. He’ll come out with his bare feet if you visit him, and you know that.”
Jane clapped her hands afterward, showing that she was looking forward to seeing a reunion between them, but Lila just stayed silent, she just stared at the wall silently while biting her lips.
All the efforts I’ve made to avoid Hir will go down the drain. But that’s not the problem… He’s a kid who gives me presents like this.
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Lila’s gaze eventually landed on Hir’s drawing. She was reminded of how Hir used to come to knock on her door quite often and how he stopped coming after she stopped talking to him. Hir knows… I’m avoiding him.
She shook her head a couple of times before thinking about it more. Lila realized that she was actually sharing the burden with Hir. She knew that she couldn’t have Hir sense any change.
It’s a burden that only I have to carry.
She felt ashamed about making Hir the victim again and knew that something had to change once more. She slowly took her gaze off the drawing and her dazed sight soon became clear.
“So… is Hir in his room right now?”