Chapter 105 – Trust Me In Your Life Just This Once
“…What?”
Lucio’s mind went momentarily blank. He would abandon her? That was nonsense. Even if she abandoned him first, he could not abandon her. Not anymore. How could he do that?
“What are you talking about?” he demanded. “That will never—”
“But Rosemond.” Patrizia spoke that taboo name aloud. “You abandoned her.”
“…Rizi.” Lucio tightened his arms around her. “The situation is different. I know you’re not someone who will hurt others for yourself.”
“Do you even know enough about me to talk like that?” Patrizia asked as she was about to cry. “If I’m blinded by jealousy and hurt others, then will I be abandoned? Will I be decapitated…”
“Rizi.” Lucio desperately pulled her close. “I swear. No woman but you can stand beside me. No woman but you can be in my arms.”
“…”
“I’m sorry. I did not make you trust me.”
“You don’t know what I’m afraid of,” Patrizia mumbled.
“…Yes. That’s true.”
“So I’m scared.” Patrizia spoke in a trembling voice and grabbed him by his shoulder. “I gave my heart to you, and I’m afraid I’ll be abandoned one day.”
“Rizi, I…”
“I can’t have children,” Patrizia lamented. “You need to have a successor. Then one day…you will have to embrace another woman.”
“Even if we have to adopt a relative from a branch family, what you just said will not happen. I have no thought of doing so.”
“How can I believe—”
“Rizi.” He called her name in an overanxious voice. “How can I make you trust me?”
“…”
“Should we write a memorandum? If we bring the Dukes as witnesses, even as an Emperor, I would have to protect it. If you want, tomorrow, or we can do it right now.” He panicked and rambled on alternative options. “If not that, what else can we do? Should I leave the Imperial Seal to you? So you can dethrone me at any time? Or—”
“Your Majesty, don’t you understand?” Patrizia lifted her tearful eyes to Lucio. “I’m not talking about material things.”
“…”
“I’m afraid of the pain I’m going to have again when my relationship with you is completely broken.”
“…Rizi, you know, there’s no official promise I can make about that. However…” He spoke without hesitation. “I swear. Even if you abandon me, I will never abandon you first. Let me be perfectly clear about that as your husband, not the Emperor of the Mavinous Empire.”
“Haah…”
“Now tell me, Rizi. What happened?”
“…I had a dream,” Patrizia answered quietly, still in his arms. “‘She mocked me. She said I would be like her someday.”
“I see.” Lucio soothingly rubbed her back with his broad palms. “That will not happen.”
“…”
“I promise you with everything I am. Just this once…”
The earnestness in Lucio’s voice touched Patrizia’s ears vividly. Patrizia, whose face was buried in his chest, could hear his heartbeats clearer than anything else. It was beating hard. It was as if he was begging for her to know that he was alive, and Patrizia felt that her heart was resonating accordingly.
“Trust me in your life just this once,” Lucio said firmly.
Patrizia lifted her moist eyes to look at him. “Will you…kiss me?”
His lips met hers. After a while, Patrizia tasted something salty in her mouth. She was the one that needed to cry, so why was he crying? She had an idea in her head, but it must be just an idea. Because he wasn’t that sentimental. Yes, right.
I have decided to believe you. Even if I don’t believe you, that feeling that has grown bigger will not forgive me.
Perhaps she started a love that she shouldn’t have. He said he wouldn’t abandon her, but no one knows what would happen in the future? It might happen to her someday.
However, even so, could she believe him even once? Could she do that? She could leave her feelings to him just once, right? Even if she was being deceived, she would believe him. She would believe with her heart. Because…it was the first time that she had something she wanted. A warm love and future that she might paint with him.
Patrizia calmed down late that night by sharing her warm lips with him. She floated as if she were on drugs. It gave her the illusion that it would solve all her concerns and worries.
*
“…So, His Majesty is very busy these days. He’s been trying to make Rizi feel better every day.”
“Really?”
“Yes. He makes sweet desserts every day and sends gifts from time to time. Of course, Rizi dislikes extravagant gifts, so His Majesty is cautious when he sends them.”
“I can’t imagine him like that.”
“Why?”
“Based on what I heard from my father, His Majesty is cold and strict. He must have been mistaken.”
“Well, that could be the case when he’s working. But the important thing is how he treats his loved ones.”
“So, am I treating you well, Nil?”
At Rothesay’s question, Petronilla answered with a giggle as she strolled down the road.
“You’re the best husband material, Ro. Even the Emperor won’t be able to keep up with you. Desserts? Gifts? Geez, you do all that too.”
“Oh no, how can I compare myself to the Sun of the Empire?” Rothesay said with a sunny grin. “I might get caught for offending the Imperial Family.”
“That won’t happen, my beloved Ro,” Petronilla whispered, pecking Rossi on his cheek. “How can they catch a man as lovely as you?”
“It’s an honor, Nil,” Rothesay said with an affectionate smile, and returned a kiss on her cheek. “Oh, I have something to tell you.”
“Something to tell me?” Petronilla asked.
“Her Majesty’s birthday banquet is next week, right?”
“Yes.” Next week was the birthday of the person that Petronilla loved the most in the whole world—Patrizia. It was also Petronilla’s birthday. She tilted her head in curiosity. “And?”
“There’s something important to do that day. After the banquet ends…can I see you for a minute?”
“Of course, Ro.” Petronilla nodded in agreement, and a faint smile drew across Rothesay’s lips as he looked at her. He tilted his head down to kiss her on her head.
“There’s no woman in this world who is as lovely as you, Nil,” he whispered.
*
The days passed and Patrizia’s birthday arrived. The Queen’s birthday was to be celebrated in splendor to match its name. Since the crack of dawn, Patrizia was on her feet from the rush of gifts and preparation of her clothing.
“Oh my, Your Majesty. You’re gorgeous!” one of the ladies-in-waiting exclaimed, and Patrizia felt a rush of embarrassment. As if noticing her reaction, Mirya offered a word.
“Your Majesty, you’re so beautiful.”
“I don’t think I will ever get used to dressing up like this.”
“But you’ll get used to it soon. The more wrinkles you get around your mouth, the more naturally you’re going to accept this kind of dress-up.”
“Do you mean I have to keep doing this until I’m old? Oh my goodness.”
Patrizia shook her head as if she were already weary of the idea. Somehow her hair felt heavier than usual.
Patrizia turned to Mirya. “What about my parents and sister? When did they say they’d be here?”
“I received a message saying they have just left a while ago, Your Majesty.”
“Then I will have to hurry too.”
The hour hand was already running in the early afternoon. Finally, Patrizia freshened herself with dried rose perfume and got up from her seat. Suddenly, there was a slight disturbance outside the room. Patrizia looked towards the door with a puzzled look.
“What’s happ—”
Before she could finish her sentence, the door opened, and someone came in with a flustered look. It was Lucio.
“Your Majesty…?” Patrizia said in surprise.
“Ah…” When he saw Patrizia, he blushed a bit and spoke in a small voice. “That was rude of me. I was in a hurry…”
“What brings you here…?”
“Hmm…” He hesitated. “Your escort carriage is here.”
“Ah…”
Patrizia glanced away awkwardly, and the ladies-in-waiting, including Mirya, left the room. Their behaviors made Patrizia and Lucio blush more. Despite the fact that they were in a relationship where they already saw everything, their emotional relationship was still young. From a general perspective, it was quite interesting and fresh.
“Are you…all ready?” Lucio asked tentatively.
“Yes…” Patrizia replied.
“You look pretty today.”
“Ah…” Patrizia hesitated for a moment, then answered with her cheeks reddening. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”
“Shall we go then?” He reached out his hand, and Patrizia took it with care.
Have I ever held this man’s hand properly? Patrizia thought while holding his hand. She didn’t think she did. Lucio’s hands were warm. She thought it was quite strange and held his hand a little tighter.
*
It was her birthday.
The birthdays of the Emperor and Empress were celebrated with some of the grandest festivals in the Empire. There were so many people that someone might think that all the nobles in the Empire might have gathered in the hall. The crush of people was dizzying.
Are there usually so many people at a party? Patrizia muttered inwardly.
“You look a little tired. Are you alright?” Lucio asked.
“I’m fine.” Patrizia answered politely, but his anxieties were not soothed.
“If you feel uncomfortable, please tell me. Alright?”
“I will.” After answering, Patrizia smirked without even realizing it. An unexpected interest, not bad.
Meanwhile, Petronilla was enjoying her time with Rothesay.
“You’re really pretty today.”
Rothesay began the conversation complimenting Petronilla as usual and she blushed as if she could not stop him.
“You’re always complimenting me. What should I do if I get too used to this?”
“Why not? You’re going to get mar—”
Rothesay’s words suddenly halted. Oops, a mistake. Fortunately, Petronilla did not respond much, perhaps because she did not notice it. He was relieved and spoke again.
“It’s alright if you get used to it. I will keep complimenting you.”
“Wow.” Petronilla laughed. “That’s so sweet.”
“It’s an honor.”
With a soft smile, Rothesay reached out gracefully to Petronilla. “In that sense…would you like to dance, My Lady?”