Chapter 22
****
“Are you going to leave Princess Erica alone? Looking at her behavior at that time, it is certain that she cooperated with Belford’s side even though she is a princess of the allied nations. Moreover, even though the Princess is involved in the incident, it’s quiet in the royal family of Medea. It seems that she’s working with them separately.”
Vincent, who came to the regiment’s headquarters, mentioned the Christmas incident and asked about Princess Medea. His anxious eyes glanced at Noah, who was leaning back in his chair in the regimental commander’s office with his feet on the desk.
(Noah) His tie, which had always been perfectly cinched, was crooked, and two collar buttons were loosened. He was a regimental commander who should be a role model for others, but he was in a mess of his own accord and was scattered like unorganized objects. It didn’t look okay at all.
Vincent, his loyal secretary, pulled the cigar out from his pocket and offered it to Noah, who was stained with exhaustion.
“I don’t smoke.”
“I thought you might need it. Everyone starts like this.”
“Now, leave it alone.”
Noah replied, loosening the tie. Again, the same blank expression as before. It was monotonous, as if he was telling Vincent to leave him alone, but it also meant to leave the Princess of Medea alone.
Noah was looking at the ceiling with a contemplated face, shaking his smooth black boots.
He was shaking his slippery black military boots and looking at the ceiling . To work for that man, you have to have to be sensible. He was the kind of boss who made short statements, assuming everyone else would understand.
“Yes, sir.”
Vincent quietly left the room and closed the door.
Noah, who remained alone, was still leaning lazily and staring into the void. He felt no interest in the all-encompassing view of the sunset as the sun was setting. He didn’t know why he found beauty from the circling motion of the sun almost rising and going.
The neatly organized papers on his desk were turning more and more orange, and the constant sound of the clock’s second hand was quieting down. All added to the silence.
It was the time he used to wait for the most. To him, the light of the sunset was a kind of signal, and that was all it meant to him.
Now, time was just meaningless to him. He recalled Diana’s appearance as he believed she was the only one.
Her face was expressionless, yet pale with a slight touch that quickly turned bright red. It was strange to hear her voice, which usually sounded so plain and soulless, become slightly higher when she was upset, and the subtle changes in her expression that could only be seen if he looked closely.
So it was fun to just sit still and watch. Because at first it seemed to be alive but not alive, but as time went on it became more vibrant.
Her eyes sometimes stood out faintly, but he wanted to know what the light was that had disappeared for a moment. She always had a consistent expression, but she was a mysterious person with numerous masks of circumstances.
She acted and strived like a woman of her age, but she also appeared superfluous, like someone who had defied the view of the way of all things circulating in the world.
Noah wanted to know the real thing hidden beneath the mask that changes from time to time.
‘Did you cry when you looked at me, or did you laugh? Why did you leave me? I thought you said you needed me.’
Noah’s lips, which had been expressionless and emotionless throughout the workday, opened in a sigh. He turned his head and closed his eyes softly. As much as he felt he had to bring her back again, he could faintly hear her indifferent voice.
“This doesn’t change anything.” (Diana)
Noah’s brow furrowed, and he rubbed his face exhaustedly.
“Diana, what should I do?”
The empty question dissipated and disappeared into thin air, without an object.
****
The sun was setting outside the window. My body was just getting better after a few hours.
I was reading a book and raised my head when I heard a knock on the door of my room. I slowly leaned back on the sofa and sat down. Beyond the book, I saw a desperate looking servant and Celine enter the room side by side. Celine was going to pay a visit to the maid who gave me the boiled soup. I think she said that.
‘’I’m sorry, miss. I have three younger siblings I have to feed. If I get fired here without a recommendation, I’ll have nowhere to work.”
The flushed redheaded maid began to pray stiffly. I looked alternately at the maidservant and Celine. Celine stood with her arms folded, looked down at the floor, and sighed.
“Do as you wish, sister. You’re too kind.”
I turned my eyes to the book and spat out the words soullessly. The earnest eyes of the servant who was looking at me turned to Celine. Celine had a tender heart. Relief spread across the face of the maid who knew her. I smiled calmly at the silent pressure on Celine. Celine’s green eyes, staring at me, seemed to boil with humiliation.
“…… I don’t think I can let you off the hook for playing such a dangerous prank on my sister. Make sure you leave tomorrow morning.”
Celine closed her eyes and let the words out with a sigh. The red-haired maid looked incredulous at the unexpected news, and immediately stared at Celine with anger. Her face was incredibly pale.
The end of anger was directed to the final decision maker.
“You weren’t like this before, Miss.”
The maid frowned and snapped at Celine as she took off her apron. If it had once been feudal times, she might have been severely beaten, or her head might have flown off, but times have changed. It was just between the employer and the employee, the privileged and the less privileged.
“You’re doing bad things to make a good impression on the Lieutenant Colonel, young lady.”
The maid’s sarcastic words made Celine’s expression grow colder, and the corners of her mouth raised up violently.
“I’m sure you’ll find work soon. Why don’t you go to another country or a distant countryside? Just go.”
However, it was possible to use capitalist power and treat it as economic retaliation. Yielding to Celine’s decisive order, the maid left in tears. As she looked at the door where the maid had left, Celine, who had been silent for some time, asked in an indifferent voice,
“What in the world do you want?”
“What do you mean? I want my sister to be good to me. If someone bullies me, she will come out and protect me.”
I put the book down and smiled, my eyes downcast.
“Because you’re my older sister. Isn’t that obvious?”
Celine’s face twisted visibly at my remarks and she bit her lips. She asked intuitively, as if spitting out a thorn that had been choking her.
“You, are you interested in the Lieutenant Colonel*?” (*Jeffrey)
I didn’t answer, just slouched my posture and smiled. I prayed that she would fall into the depths of her own anxious imagination. I just gave her a look that finally stifled the mockery.
“The Lieutenant Colonel asked me to meet him outside tomorrow.”
Celine twisted her lips fiercely and left the room, as if she didn’t want to hear anymore.
The evil without power is the stronger one, there’s nothing to lose. The unfortunate ones are the ones who hit the brakes first. I lay back on the bed, giggling as I swung my legs up and down in the air.
“Oh, this is fun.”
Actually, not one thing was funny.
I hadn’t meant to tempt Jeffrey. It was something I couldn’t do if I tried, and I didn’t feel like it. So I definitely don’t want to try it in that direction.
***
The next day, Lieutenant Colonel Grenendall paid a visit to the Admiral’s residence.
I was in the restaurant with him, staring blankly at the table. After he brought me here, he showed the menu to the waiter and made a very nice order: “Everything from here to here.”
I looked at the table full of fine food and tried to understand the situation, but eventually I looked him in the eye for an answer.
“Please eat it all.”
The corners of the Lieutenant Colonel’s eyes lifted finely. It was not deliberate torture or thirst, but the grandmother’s pitiful desire to feed her grandson a lot.
“I think I’ll die if I eat all of it.”
“Didn’t you get sick a while ago? You’ve gotten a little thinner.”
Jeffrey put the plate of steak in front of me and cut it out into equal portions, exactly as if it were measured with a ruler. Do I really look so pitiful? Is this a relief organization? I eagerly popped it into my mouth in a show of good faith.
The Lieutenant Colonel, cheek to cheek and holding a glass of wine, looked on happily as my soul faltered.
“Is it good?”
“Yes, sir.”
However, as a survivor of an unfortunate history where I chewed only hard black bread without water in the past, my stomach and intestines were too small, and combined with my tendency to have a small appetite, I couldn’t eat much. How could my body be strong when I grew up without eating?
“There’s no need to push yourself. I didn’t know what you liked, so I ordered everything.”
His expression softened. I put down my fork, leaned back in my chair, and exhaled.
A performer sitting at a piano on a stage set up inside the restaurant was playing the that I had heard that day. It seemed to be a famous song here as well. I quietly looked over there and asked Jeffrey.
“You chose that song for the mission, didn’t you?”
He tilted his head, his blue eyes narrowing at my question.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s called ‘Parting Song’. There was no way they would play that song at an engagement ceremony.”
“No, I heard that they played the song as requested by the Duke*.” (*Noah)
My breath caught in my throat. I slowly turned my head and looked at him with a stiff face.
“What…?”
“And the title of that song is not a farewell song.”
Jeffrey leaned forward and placed his hands on the table to face the performer.
“It’s a foreign song called ‘No more love’. A melancholy tune that is not used for engagement ceremonies.”
I couldn’t easily choose what it meant. It had two very distinct meanings.
–It could mean that there was no love from now on, or it could mean that there was no other love besides the other person…. I clenched and unfolded my hand, repeating it anxiously.
It was Noah who sent the signal, wasn’t it? I think it was the climax part. To deploy soldiers in the cause of invitation to the engagement ceremony and make them send operational signals directly to the enemy troops hiding in the orchestra.
It was possible that Noah changed his plan to use me to negotiate with Belford. He may have been right in his plan to get the rescue information in advance and bring this man (Jeffrey), son of the Prime Minister of Belford, to Progen to kill him. Because Noah was a madman who goes beyond the norm.
Was his idea of marriage, the engagement ceremony, and the coming-of-age ceremony all part of the operation?
I said I loved him easily. The image of me talking and the image of Noah being kind overlapped in conflict and floated vaguely. From the beginning, he may have realized that what I said was a lie and he also showed false pretense.
If Noah’s purpose was to kill Lieutenant Colonel Grenendall in the first place, there would have been many other ways.
“Miss Diana.”
Jeffrey’s quiet voice woke me from my agony.
“Were you really going to marry him?”
How did I feel at that moment? Something that had been building up in the depths of my mind came to light. I pretended it wasn’t so, but after I left him, the loneliness and desolation that washed over me like a wave was unbearable.
“Perhaps you’re right.”
I replied.
I was moved by Noah, even if it wasn’t love, and I had a good feeling that I wanted to maintain the relationship. I had never been loved properly, but I recklessly spit out the word “I love you” and tried to use it as a kind of means and method.
Yes, I didn’t even know what it was, so it seemed easy. To start with a lie and put it away as a lie until the end. So I regret that day.
My vision clouded and flashed like a wave. At the same time as I replied, something fell into my lap as I sat quietly in my chair.
I felt cold as it flowed down, wetting my face.
I liked this strange, beautiful person who was kind to me for no reason at all. I, who was abandoned by my family, who had nothing, but he ran with all his heart and soul towards me to the point of blindness.
I couldn’t believe it, so I couldn’t say more.
Everything I had said to him was a lie.
Was it the same for him?