I'm Glad that I was Abandoned - Chapter 1
1. How to get used of being abandoned
The anger and shouts of an adult man were too much for a ten-year-old girl to withstand.
In order to not fall down, Erne energized her trembling legs. If she didn’t hold on, she will be torture by them again.
A fearful voice came above her head again.
“Tell me again. What did you just say?”
“I….I… I would rather be abandoned….”
In fact, without question, Erne’s request was simple.
She wanted to be abandoned by the heartless emperor and the empress, who hated her more than cockroach. If I kept being their doll, I would lose my life someday.
I could endure only the usual verbal abuse. There were terrifying things that happened on the day when the Empress was not feeling well.
On days when the Empress wasn’t feeling well, Erne was abused by her as much as torture.
When the Empress is in bad mood, Erne was tortured or abused by her.
Sometimes I will be standing naked outside on a winter day, I felt the fear of death, and the bitter winter wind had stabbed me like a blade and taken away my senses.
Erne shivered and begged for her life, but the Empress did not let her in until her anger was released.
It was only after the maids smoothed the empress’s broken nails, and her mood improved, before Erne could come inside.
“Please, please abandon me…… father……. No, your majesty, I don’t…., huh…….. I don’t want to be scolded anymore….”
Although she tried not to cry, Erne’s face was filled with tears and a runny nose.
When she grabbed his clothes with her wet hands, a sense of disgust was seen over the emperor’s face.
But still, the child clung desperately to the hem of his clothes.
“Huuk… as you said, if I’m not your daughter…… I can’t deal with the guardian deity of the imperial family……throw me away, please, please…”
Bang! Her face turned to the opposite side with a harsh sound. The emperor’s big hand had slapped her on her cheek.
Erne, who couldn’t withstand the heavy shock and fell like flying, she shook her arms and legs miserably. I wanted to get up, but it was hard to stand up properly. An unpleasant ring came from the ear.
She endured desperately at the thought that she might die if she lost consciousness.
The anger still lingered in the eyes of the emperor when he saw his daughter floundering on the floor. Far from being softened, it only spread more disgust.
There was now a familiar stream of verbal abuse around his mouth.
It was already painful, but his verbal abuse that stabbed Erne did not end.
“Did you forget who your mother was? Your mother was the lowest and dirtiest maid in the palace. She went out to the street, sold herself, and brought you here, and she dared to lie to me that you were my child!”
Whenever Erne accidentally called him her father or said something similar, he always repeated the same thing like a parrot.
‘Your mother is a humble maid, and I am not your father.’
His attitude, which he never overlooked, seemed unnatural even to Erne’s eyes. It was as if he was desperately trying to hide his mistake.
But if I said that, I would not be able to live.
Erne simply bowed her head and listened to the story of the man who did not know whether he was her father or not.
“But the young you were so pitiful that I let you stay at the corner of the Imperial Palace. What? Throw you away? Yes, come on. I’ll throw you away.”
The emperor, who was red with anger, shouted out to outside.
“Did you called, Your Majesty?!”
Immediately the imperial soldiers poured in, and to them, the emperor pointed to a little girl lying in front of him.
“Throw this ‘thing’ to the Mistia Forest right now!”
The word ‘Mistia Forest’ was clearly heard in Erne’s ear, who couldn’t keep her mind straight.
Mistia Forest, was a dangerous place infested with all kinds of horrible monsters. It was notorious for not being able to find a body once someone entered.
Erne, who managed to get herself still, hung on to the emperor again to survive.
“Father! I’m sorry! Father!
“Didn’t you hear that I wasn’t your father? I’ve never held that humble maid!”
The emperor eventually denied their relationship. Then he turned away from Erne, as if he didn’t want to see her.
She called him father to the point where she felt blood in her throat all the time she was dragged by the soldiers, but there was no answer from him.
At the last moment, what she saw was the cruel smiles those people.
The empress, who hated her, was delighted that the only stain on the palace had finally disappeared.
The girl born between the Empress and the Emperor, Rozanna, the first princess, laughed, looking at Erne, struggling with a tearful face, was funny and ugly.
Other maids were sorry that they would never have the pleasure of secretly snooping on Erne again, but they were glad that they had no trouble cleaning up the mess.
Everyone was laughing at the night she was being dragged away.
I heard a call from the aside.
Erne, who was floundering in the nightmare of the past, finally looked up. The surroundings were bright unlike dreams, and she was sitting in front of a big mirror.
I remembered that I was getting sleepy while fixing my hair.
“Are you tired?”
Erne scratched her cheek, somewhat embarrassed. Then she smiled lightly at Anna, the maid who had touched her hair.
“Did you call me?”
“Yes, I celled you more than ten times. You sweat too much, and did you have a dream again?”
“Huh. I’ve been quiet these days. Phew…….”
It has been more than 10 years since Erne was abused by the Emperor of Zermania. She was a 10-year-old girl at the time and is now I’m a 20-year-old adult.
If that amount of time has passed, my memory of the day should be slightly blurred, but strangely it was not. Rather, the memory became clearer as I went on.
Because of that, I often struggled with nightmares and barely came to my senses with the help of a maid like this time.
“How unfortunate. Good memories are quickly forgotten, but bad memories are as clear as time passes.”
Erne stared into the mirror. A mature woman with silver-white hair and violet-colored eyes was seen. There wasn’t even a bit left of her face at the age of ten.
Even so, when I closed my eyes, I remembered the child who was running every single time crying. It was life that was not enough to be filled with happy memories, but she was unfair to keep being held in the past.
“What should I do? I don’t want to think of it anymore.”
In fact, I didn’t expect a good answer to come from Anna.
If it were to be resolved easily, Erne would not have suffered from memories of the past.
Still, Anna seemed to be seriously concerned. I was engrossed in my thoughts while frowning on my freckles and nose.
“Hmmm… Ah! Then how about intentionally thinking only of good things?”
Erne smiled softly without knowing it. As expected, the advice from Anna’s mouth was very simple.
If the nightmare didn’t repeat just because I thought about only good things intentionally, I wouldn’t have had to worry this in the first place.
Anna was originally a fine-grown aristocrat, although now she is working as a maid due to her declining family. So, there was no wrinkle, and the idea was simple.
Even though she idea was not helpful, Erne let Anna continue to advise.
“When that comes to mind again, I think about what happened next. By force.”
“And then… …meeting my father now?”
“Yes, you always said that meeting the Marquis was the happiest thing in your life.”
Erne retraced her memory as Anna advised. What happened after he was dumped in the Mistia Forest… that is, she was rescued by Anna father there.
The Mistia forest was located on the border of three countries and was almost deserted by monsters.
At that time, Erne cried his throat out the whole way because she knew she had no choice but to die when she entered such a place.
‘Please don’t leave me in the woods. Please…’
However, the cold imperial knights thrown her into the forest.
‘Your Majesty ordered us to take you to the forest. I cannot disobey his order.’
However, he left a little advice on whether it was difficult to turn a blind eye to a little girl who begged for her life.
‘If you walk straight to the east and pass through the forest, you’ll see the Kingdom of Brithion. Go there instead.’
She was advised to go to Brithion and hide my status, rather than stay in the Zermania Empire. If I can survive until I get out of the woods, the knights disappeared without spitting out the back word.
Of course, Erne knew well without adding that. The probability of surviving in the Mistia forest is lower than the probability of being hit by a lightning.
So, for about half a day after being abandoned, I just bent over and sat down and cried. Luckily, despite being so defenseless, she wasn’t attacked by monsters.
Whether it was because she was on the outskirts of the forest, or God blessed her, she survived.
She thought that she would rather starve and die first than being attacked by a monster, but gradually her thoughts changed. The desire to live arose.
‘I have to move…….’