I’m the villainess who will destroy the country
[ First POV ]
How many people would be able to calmly accept that they were lying in a coffin the moment they opened their eyes?
The people surrounding me stared at me as I woke up.
‘O-Oh my god! The dead saintess came back to life! Everyone, run away!’
How many have witnessed people running away and their chaos was enough to break the door?
I experienced it all at once. It was astounding.
“There is something else that is even more surprising than that.”
I couldn’t remember it clearly, but somehow I died and came back to life?
And I still had the memories of my previous life?
And you mean to say that this world was a novel I had read in my previous life?
Not only that, but I happen to reincarnate as the evil main character of the novel?
With my pale blonde hair hanging over my shoulders, I mumbled while staring out the window before sighing.
“Ha.”
“…….”
“Haaa.”
“…….”
“Huuu.”
Then, the man sitting on the opposite side, put down his quill, removed his silver rimmed glasses and placed them on the desk. He opened his mouth with a hint of uneasiness.
“What is the problem this time?”
“Huuu.”
“…….”
When there was no reply, the man brushed his pale pink hair and reached out to knock on the desk in front of me.
“Saintess.”
“Sir, how would you feel if you knew your future?”
The man didn’t respond to my nonsensical words.
I wasn’t expecting an answer in the first place, so I continued to mumble and stare blankly at the blue sky and white buildings outside.
“If your future is to become a villain that ravages this country, what would you do if you were already stepping on the path of darkness?”
“Is that your future ambition?”
The man asked in a serious tone and tilted his head back with a faint tired face.
It was probably because he was the only remaining man that viewed me as a human being.
“You’ve been quiet lately, but you’ve started another bad habit. Who are you going to kill this time?”
“No, it’s not like that.”
I shook my head in denial, but the man’s firm expression did not loosen.
“Saintess, I’m telling you, you shouldn’t kill people so easily.”
“I know that. And I won’t kill anyone anymore. Ever.”
Yes. I was not going to kill anyone anymore.
Sierra, a beautiful saint with wavy light blonde hair and blue jeweled eyes.
She was a wicked woman who would smash everything that bothered her and she would remove anyone who gets in her way for all sorts of reasons.
‘God’s only flaw, the blood-crazy saintess.’
That was me.
I have always acted that way and I thought I’d continue to live like that in the future.
If it hadn’t been for the memories of my previous life which came to me when I came back to life after I died.
“Hey, sir.”
“Speak.”
“What are the chances that this world we live in is a novel that I read in my previous life? What is the possibility that I will become the villain that everyone fears?”
At my question, the pink-haired man made a grave expression and quietly opened his mouth.
“Saintess.”
“Yes.”
“Perhaps it’s time you make a visit to the health centre. It seems that when you died and came back to life, there was a problem with your head.”
“…….”
“First of all, it’s strange that the saintess is speaking formally with other people. You weren’t like that before.”
Just like the man in front of me who resembled cotton candy had said, my behaviour was very different from before.
Even without anyone mentioning it, I knew it myself.
“Usually, people change when they die and come back to life.”
Rather than explaining further, I sighed and ended the conversation I initiated without getting an answer. I turned my head towards the window again.
“Haaa.”
‘No, out of all those books, why does it have to be this one?!’
In my previous life, when I lived as Kim So-won, there was a popular web novel called 『 Mad Saint 』
A crooked protagonist, who was born and abused as the illegitimate child of a count, becomes a saintess and raised in status.
Perhaps, it was a rather devastating and dark novel.
The main protagonist, whose personality was twisted due to the abuse she experienced as a child, had such a thought.
‘This kind of empire that treats people as dogs and pigs1 according to their status will be destroyed by me, the lowest of them all.’
And the main protagonist made her words come true. For real.
She killed the emperor, the crown prince and all the members of the imperial family using all kinds of scheming methods. She also made the young prince a puppet emperor and swung him around.
It feels painful to say that, in the process, all true loyalists were dead.
Officials were corrupted, the riot was rampants and the people’s cries of suffering seemed never ending.
‘That scene alone was already overwhelming, but the problem is….’
In the end, when the country was destroyed, the angry citizens and the three guardians of the temple joined forces to declare a rebellion. And the novel ended when the main protagonist’s head was cut off.
As a result, the author was severely criticised by the readers for not only writing a dead ending, but also summarising the whole process into just two paragraphs.
Of course, I was one of the offended readers.
“Anyway, the point is, the villainous main protagonist who ruined the country……”
Is me. That is exactly my future.
In addition, this man with lavender coloured eyes and pretty light pink hair was the ‘Sword’, one of the guardians of the temple as well as the one who will cut my neck.
“Haa.”
As I ended my thoughts and sighed deeply, Iros frowned.
“Why are you sighing at my face, saintess?”
“It’s because Sir is so pretty.”
“You’re speaking formally again.”
I sighed again when I noticed he seemed to care more about how I was using honorifics rather than the fact I said he was pretty.
What will happen to my life in the future? What’s the point of reincarnating as the villainous main protagonist if my head is bound to be cut off by the dead ending?
“I sighed because you are beautiful, pink. Why? You don’t agree?”
“That’s the same as usual. Fortunately, you don’t seem to be sick.”
Seeing his genuinely relieved face made me feel even more depressed. Had I known this would happen, I would have lived a peaceful life and not kill others easily.
I screamed internally and turned around, leaning on the desk with my face sticking between my arms. I looked at Iros and asked.
“Don’t you feel bad? I always call you pink instead of your name and treat you like a dog all the time.”
“I would rather have the saintess treat me like a dog and not cause trouble instead.”
“…….”
Are you saying that you’re used to being treated as a dog now?
Or are you saying that I cause troubles to the point where you’d rather have me distracted by treating you as a dog?
Perhaps it’s both.
“Pink.”
“Yes, saintess.”
“It’s hard to make a living.”
“….?”
The man stared at me as if I had said something nonsense.
These were naturally not the words that would come out of Sierra’s mouth, or rather my mouth, who was not afraid of anything in the world and would cause chaos once offended.
“Pink, hand.”
“……”
The man, who was more accustomed to being called pink than his real name, stared at me and remained silent for a long while before he held out his hand.
I also habitually reached out to him, but when I realised what I had done, I quickly removed my hand.
“No, no, that was a mistake. It was a habit, so don’t bother over it.”
Come to think of it, I always treated the pretty man in front of me, Iros Elijah, as a pet dog.
His clear, pale skin, soft light pink hair and a pretty face made him feel like a young boy despite being a 23 year old young man.
On the other hand, his body was full of hard, toned muscles from his training so I often ridiculed him.
‘Pink, unbutton your shirt and crawl like an animal.’
Among the three honourable guardians of the temple, Iros Elijah, had the title ‘Sword’, but I did not hesitate to treat him like a fool.
‘If you don’t want to see me kill anyone again, do it. Okay? That’s my cute puppy.’
When I threatened the lives of innocent people, he grinded his teeth, clenched his fists so tight that his nails dug into his palms, and trembled in shame, yet he obeyed my orders.
His long, white fingers unbuttoned his shirt one by one, revealing his smooth upper body, and he placed his hands on the ground and crawled on the floor like a dog.
‘Wow. No wonder it’s a R19, devastating novel.’
The alluring and humiliating appearance of Iros suddenly appeared in my mind and I shook my head to erase the sparkling abs and chest muscles.
‘I don’t want to die. No way. I admit that I became twisted from the abuse when I was young, but I have no intention of risking my life to destroy the empire.’
The first step was to get rid of the role of being the crazy dark villain.
As long as I don’t commit any more evil deeds and approach the imperial family, I won’t be executed, right?
If I safely escape the image of a villain and live as a peaceful saintess, I will be able to survive for a long time.
“Alright. Let’s start cleaning up the past.”
“Clean up the past? Saintess, did you do something I didn’t know一”
“When did I?! I’m just trying to live a good-natured life.”
My conscience was poked when Iros stared at me with a disbelieving gaze that seemed to say ‘You?’
“I’m serious. Lately, I’ve been killing and wrecking too much. Well, I’ve caused a lot of accidents and trouble.”
As I spoke, my voice gradually became weaker. It was because all of the countless evil deeds I committed came into my mind one by one.
‘Looking back through my memories like this, I realised I was really a one of a kind piece of trash.’
The kind of trash that could not be burned, rot, nor could it be recycled.
I smiled awkwardly and scratched my cheek.
“Can you find the people who were tortured and kicked out because of me?”
“Do you want to see blood again? Just punish me instead.”
“No, no that―”
At Iros’ words, who looked like he was about to kneel at any moment, I unintentionally remembered when he was handcuffed and punished.
Argh! That’s not what I meant!
“Apologise!”
“What?”
“I’m going to apologise and heal them! Help them go back to work!”
“As expected, we have to get your head checked with the doctor…..”
While I clenched my fist full of sincerity and spoke ambiguously, Iros was disappointed and stepped back. Huhu. I’m trying to clear my past in order to live a good life, but starting it is already very hard.
I couldn’t even regret it since these were all the seeds that I sowed…..
“There is a long way to go…..”
I’m already losing my mind.
[1] Metaphorical term for the foolish and weak people that can be simply fed and kept alive like an animal. Usually a term used for overworked and underpaid workers.
TL/N: In case you’re confused, the FL woke up before the ending – Kim So-won was her past life and she’s always been Sierra. Since as a Saintess, she has the ability to heal herself back to life. So it’s just another day, another chaotic shenanigan.