Cersinia and Ben simply filled their stomachs, then sat down on the chairs and waited for the end of the festival to begin. Ben had been away to get a blanket for quite a while now, saying it’ll get colder as the sun goes down.
The two were wearing the bracelets they bought earlier. The seller had told them to try it on and they didn’t bother to take them off. A dark purple bracelet was on her wrist and a crimson bracelet on Ben’s. They ended up wearing a couple bracelets unintentionally.
Cersinia looked at the bracelet on her wrist. The dark purple bracelet really reminded her of Ben. In particular, the colour looked a lot like Ben’s eyes.
“I want the crimson one.”
When she remembered his longing eyes and sullen voice, Cersinia avoided his gaze. Her intuition was telling her that if she looked further into those eyes, she might be sucked in too deep for her to get out.
“Haa…”
She sighed as she touched the innocent bracelet. The more she was by his side, the harder it became to reject Ben. She even had a desire to maintain their ambiguous relationship as it was. She knew that she was being selfish, but she really wanted to do it.
‘Is it impossible to live together just like now?’
Do they have to define their relationship?
Does a relationship necessarily need to lead to affection between the opposite sex?
‘Can’t we be just friends?’
Her face was full of melancholy. Ben was someone she didn’t want to let go of in her life. He was the first person she gave her heart to, and he was the only one who saved her from a lonely life. Even if she left his mansion in the future, their relationship was so precious that Cersinia would want to often keep in touch with him.
That’s why Cersinia was afraid. She was afraid that her relationship with him would end helplessly after her rejection. The thought that Ben would refuse to see her and won’t allow her to see him again made her afraid. She doesn’t even know why she was afraid of that.
“The sun is setting.”
Ben appeared with a large blanket and sat next to Cersinia.
“It’s going to start now.”
“Are you sure they don’t mind seeing me here?”
Ben wrapped the blanket around Cersinia’s body tightly as if he wouldn’t allow a single gap.
“It’s a Harvest festival, so I think it’s meaningful to watch it with people.”
For Ben, the lord, there was a separate seat on a high platform where he could overlook the Harvest festival. However, Cersinia said she wanted to blend with the crowd, so he came down with her without hesitation.
“You were able to see better in your spot, but I’m sorry for making you come with me.”
“I’m all right.”
He smiled pleasantly and glanced at her.
“Anywhere I go with Cersinia is fine.”
For a moment, Cersinia’s mind blanked out at sudden confession, which was conveyed without hesitation.
“It looks like they’re going to light the fire now.”
He hurriedly turned his head, perhaps ashamed of himself.
“…”
Cersinia, who noticed that his ears were beet red, stared straight ahead without a word. Her mind was so clear that it kept shaking her heart.
‘Do I have to reject him?’
A small seed of conflict took root in her.
‘Can’t I be greedy?’
Just like what she said to him, everyone has greed.
“Let’s start the end of the Harvest festival.”
The Chief announced the start of the end Harvest festival. Ben was the one who was supposed to open the ceremony but because he wanted to watch it, it was now the Chiefs’ job. As the sun set and the darkness covered the sky, people with torches gathered in the middle of the square.
Cersinia’s eyes were shaking greatly as all the villagers‘ eyes twinkled in anticipation as they saw the roaring flames of torches. The loud footsteps that gave her a headache rang in her ears. It reminded her of the time when the villager’s hostile eyes were all on her, and goosebumps grew all over her body.
‘It’s already in the past, and there’s no need for me to feel afraid anymore, but why…?’
“I’m happy that we had a good harvest this year and wish for a better one next year.”
As soon as the Chief shouted loudly and dropped the torch he was holding on to the firewood, Cersinia jumped from her seat in shock.
“Cersinia?”
Ben surprised, stood up.
All those holding torches followed the Chief and lit the firewood. People watched the flames soaring to the end of the sky in unison. But Cersinia’s heart pounded loudly. The current scent overlapped with the memories of when her hands and feet were tied up and standing in the square, the time when everyone watched her with contempt.
“Let’s kill that witch!”
“You wicked witch!”
Like the evil words, the disgusting resentment squeezes her heart. The image of Charles about to drop the blazing torch as he pleases.
“Uurgh…!”
Her vision became dark. She grabbed her skirt and tried to get herself together.
“Cersinia! Are you okay? You don’t look good.”
Ben asked her urgently as he saw her having trouble breathing and her pale face. The end of the Harvest festival began, and a large flame lit up the square red. Everyone gathered in the middle of the square, except for two people.
“Cersinia, where do you feel sick? Or, is it because of the past memories?”
“N-No. It’s not like that.”
She didn’t want to show him this ugly and vulnerable side of her. Cersinia struggled to keep her back upright, grabbing his hand and trying to support her body. Then several small footsteps came closer and closer. The children ran in laughing.
“Ouch!”
The child, running happily with his friends, fell down after bumping her feet. Cersinia shivered at the familiar scene that brought painful memories.
“Cersinia?”
Ben only cared about Cersinia.
The child stood up bravely without crying even though he was likely to be hurt and was surprised by Cersinia’s face. The child’s surprised expression made a thunderbolt-like voice fly into her ear.
“Go away, you witch!”
She then felt the pain in her forehead. Her heart was pounding so hard to the point she thought her life was threatened. She choked up at the pain she felt, it was like someone grabbing her heart roughly. Cold sweat ran down her forehead, and her mind was distracted.
“T-This witch! Go away!”
The murderous intent that had been sleeping in her head slowly rose.
“Did you think the end of those who only see what they want to see and hear what they want to hear would be good?”
Instantly, a creepy woman’s voice that didn’t contain even a single emotion resonated in her ear. At the same time, the image of her smiling as she set the cabin on fire, three years ago came to her mind, and the image of a woman smiling in the middle of the square with splattered blood overlapped.
‘Why is this all of a sudden?’
Her mind went blank.
‘I don’t know who ‘I’ is and who ‘Cersinia’ is.’
She looked down at her hands with a confused look. Light red smoke was rising from her hand, which was trembling. It was scary. She was afraid that these hands would harm someone again.
“Are you okay?”
A worried voice was directed towards her.
“What’s going on? Why on earth-”
Feeling anxious, Ben grabbed Cersinia’s trembling hand. Cersinia startled, tried to pull her hand away from him. When Ben touched her hand, the murderous intent was nowhere to be felt as if it had not existed from the beginning.
“Ian, are you okay?”
The children who were playing together came to the child who had fallen.
“I’m okay.”
The child walked with his friends in front of the square, moving away from Ben and Cersinia.
“I just saw a pretty sister.”
“The lady from before?”
“Yes. She was surprisingly pretty.”
The child blushed and chatted with his friends, then disappeared. As the children disappeared, no one remained around the two. All of them were gathered in front of the flame to pray for a good harvest next year. Between the two, only a quiet, faint wind blew.
“Cersinia, is it because you remember that time?”
Ben didn’t mean to invite her to the Harvest festival to bring back the bad memories. He regretted what he said and bit his lips.
“…”
Cersinia was staring intently at the hand that was held by Ben. When she returned, to her usual self, all that was left in her hand was his body temperature. She closed and opened her trembling eyelids.
Everything that happened now was like a warning. A warning not to forget her existence as the witch that everyone is afraid of. In the end, she has to die because of this power. Cersinia never forgot her existence, that’s why she was always careful. But the time she spent with Ben was so ordinary and happy that she had a small dream.
“Cersinia, please say something.”
He strengthened the hand that was holding hers, with a painful face.
“Ben.”
A voice that had been silent for a long time came out. She will eventually hurt him in some way. It will definitely put him in a difficult situation. So she can’t be by his side.
She didn’t know if it would happen again. Cersinia never knows when she will feel like living again. She didn’t know if the hand that had strangled the woman’s neck would eventually choke Ben to death. It may not come true, but if everything flows like in the original novel, it can lead her to die. So she had to disappear from his life. Hadn’t she always been lonely from the beginning?
“Yes, Cersinia. I’m here.”
He made her aware of his presence as he touched the hand that he held.
‘I’m here. So please be relieved.’
He wanted her, who looked so unstable, to rest in his arms without worries.
“I want to protect you.”
He expressed his deep sincerity.
“I want to have a clear qualification to be next to Cersinia.”
He needed a justification for himself to protect her and for her to stay with him. There was nothing that could be done with their undetermined, ambiguous relationship. He couldn’t be her guardian, be with her for the rest of his life, or express his heart at will. Ben wanted their relationship to become official, even if it was just a slip of the tongue. 3 years ago, when she gave her hand to him for the first time, his desire and greed were drawn entirely on her.
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“I want to paint the future together with you.”
His unshakable eyes only looked at Cersinia. Cersinia, struggling to ignore her trembling chest, parted her lips and said.
“I can’t do that, Ben.”