***
A few days later, I was looking at the portrait in front of me.
A woman’s face was painted in the portrait. The woman had dark skin and curly hair.
Bianca Clay.
It was the name of the maid who worked in Sebastian’s mansion. And it was the woman he loved.
I let out a futile breath. I wondered if there was a reason Sebastian was in love with her, and I’m sorry to say that she wasn’t a particularly great-looking woman.
So it was even more miserable.
I put the portrait down on the desk, biting my lips. Said the maid, who was standing next to me and looking at the portrait.
“Give the order. Princess.”
“….”
“The princess is the one who can make Lord Sebastian hers with just one command.”
Her words echoed in my ears.
I know what that means. It meant that all the procedural preparations were done to make Sebastian mine.
Perhaps my parents had completed all preparations to disintegrate the Hughes family as soon as I gave them the last order.
And give them the last chance so that their beloved daughter can win Sebastian on her own.
That was how Duke Lowell worked.
To be honest, I couldn’t help but be drawn to it. With just one command to ‘execute’, I can have Sebastian, the brilliant man by my side.
But.
“No….”
I shook my head.
Sebastian was someone I wanted to have by my side, but at the same time, he was also a person who had a precious meaning to me. A person who once again made me want to believe in humans.
I do want him to regret the moment he handed me a handkerchief as a favor.
He had someone he loved, so I couldn’t do anything anymore.
He was like a forbidden fruit. It’s sweet, but once you bite into it, it can’t be reversed.
“I’m not going to bother Sebastian. Because it’s also a way of love. Tell your parents so.”
I refused to give such an order. Determined to give up, to forget him, and to endure alone.
Shortly thereafter, I began to feel sick. The fever of first love came.
***
The doctor was examining my body as I was breathing heavily.
I lay down on the bed, looking sideways, sweating profusely and letting out light moans.
“There is no particular pain… .”
After the examination, the doctor removed the stethoscope and said with a puzzled expression. It was the same answer. Not one or two doctors have come to me since I started having a fever, but everyone said so.
“Aileen… ”
My mother looked at me with a look as if she was about to cry.
In fact, everyone in this mansion knew. That my fever was because of Sebastian. The more I heard that there was no specific pain, the more certain the cause of all this was.
‘It hurts.’
It hurt. The feeling of first love that I experienced for the first time in my 18 years of life was terrible.
My vision was blurred. Many times a day, my head turns white. In the dream, the image of Sebastian appeared. Even with my eyes closed or opened, only the image of him dancing passed by.
Wouldn’t I die trapped in an illusion like this? I thought like that. What more should I do here? I didn’t know. I just held out, erased, looked at his image that came to mind again, and then repeated erasing.
My body was slowly approaching its limits.
I lost my consciousness again.
That was why I didn’t see my parents nodding their heads firmly at each other.
A few days later, a guest came to the mansion. To be precise, I witnessed a woman arguing at the entrance of the mansion.
It was the day I went outside after a long time because my fever had gone down. When the doctor told me that I needed to get some fresh air from time to time, I took the wheelchair and went for a walk in the garden.
Breathing in the fresh air with a pale face and parched lips, I heard a rumble coming from the entrance.
“Please let me meet Princess Aileen. I have something to tell her!”
As I approached the sudden commotion, a familiar face stood out.
A face I had seen in the portrait. Bianca Clay. The maid that Sebastian loved.
“…Bianca?”
Without realizing it, I called out the woman’s name.
Bianca, who was having a fight with the knights in front of the mansion, found me and ran to me, shaking off the knights.
“Isn’t this the work of the princess? Why does the princess bother Sebastian?”
Bianca started questioning me, a princess, without even saying hello.
Her eyes were shaking as if she was about to cry.
“What do you mean?”
I felt a strange intuition.
So the circumstances that led to Bianca being allowed into the mansion were shocking.
Count Hughes eventually lost all his status and property and became a fallen nobleman. And Bianca said that she couldn’t work anywhere. That no one in the Empire would accept her.
“Why are you pretending not to know anything? Isn’t that what the princess did?”
I quietly looked to the side. The maid was watching the whole situation with a frightened face.
Should I say I was glad that my parents were away from the mansion for a while?
“Bring the newspaper.”
When I looked at the newspaper, the downfall of Count Hughes was featured in the newspaper. I let out a sigh. Only then did I realize something big had happened while I was sick.
The last order, someone ended up giving it.
I closed the newspaper with a sad heart.
I looked at Bianca.
It occurred to me that no consolation or excuses would work for her.
“I’m sorry. I… ”
“It’s no use tormenting us like that, Princess.”
I was about to give an apology, Bianca’s firm voice resounded.
“Even if you torment me like that, my heart for Sebastian won’t change.”
“….”
I stopped talking and looked at her.
Bianca Clay. The woman Sebastian loved.
Bianca, who had no place to live after the collapse of the family she worked for, looked shabby.
However, her eyes were clear when they were looking straight into my eyes. Contrary to the plain appearance depicted in the portrait, she had the charm that captured people’s hearts. It was easy to understand why Sebastian loved her.
I looked at her carefully.
Sharp, clear black eyes. Smooth dark skin. Two healthy legs.
Her vitality.
It happened in an instant. What made me madly envious.
“Sebastian loves me. I also love Sebastian with all my heart.” (Bianca)
“….”
“So don’t bother us anymore. The Princess’ actions cannot affect us in any way…… I don’t think there’s anything more to bother about.”
Every word she said and the way she proudly called Sebastian by name. The flapping of her wings desperately for her love. Although everything felt beautiful, it strangely twisted my mind.
When she finished speaking, my expression turned sullen.
Bianca got up and turned away without greeting.
“…”
I looked at her back as she moved away, and ordered the maid next to me to do something.
After some time, Sebastian married me.
***
“I said we should divorce.”
Back to the present. When I finished reminiscing, there was a small smile on my lips. I lifted my head and looked at my parents.
“This marriage, I said to end it first.”
“Aileen, did you bring up divorce in the first place?”
My parents’ eyes widened. They looked at each other as if confused. By this time, my parents seemed to have noticed a huge change in my heart.
My father, who had just been venting his anger towards Sebastian just before, calmed down.
“We don’t understand, Aileen. Why did you change all of a sudden?”
“… … … I just wanted to give up on everything.”
Five years ago, I chose to eat the forbidden fruit.
To force Sebastian to stay by my side. I ended up making a bloody choice that was down to the bloodline of the Duke Lowell that I had inherited.
But yesterday, as I saw him celebrating our fourth wedding anniversary, I thought of that. Sebastian will go on to buy a cake every year on our wedding anniversary, leave work early, and have a celebration with me.
He despised me, but he loved Bianca just that much. For her sake, he always obeyed me and listened to me.
Year after year, every time, maybe until the day I die, this situation will remain the same.
… What does it mean?
I realized the truth I had been ignoring the whole time. That he was not the one to be with me after all.
There was no way he could ever love me. The consideration that seemed to be towards me at first glance was not towards me in the end, and that everything was just my greed.
The thought of ending it was impulsive.
For Sebastian, for me.
Yes, for all of us.
“It was just an empty marital relationship anyway. I don’t want to continue that kind of relationship anymore.”
“Aileen…”
My mother looked like she was about to cry.
She seemed to be worried about the fact that I, who had given up the string of life called Sebastian, might lose the meaning of life again.
Well, when I think about it, I fully understood the feelings of my parents. All this time, I was the daughter who acted as if I would die right away without Sebastian. If such a daughter suddenly changed her feelings and announced that she would divorce Sebastian, who wouldn’t be worried about their daughter?
“Instead, there is something I want to tell you… .”
But I also didn’t want to lose all meaning like this this time. I said with a bright smile.
“The Duke’s title, please pass on to me. I think the time has come.”
The parents’ eyes widened.
I was going to find my way and live.