Chapter 3
***
The day she woke up after dying seemed to be the day after her worst day.
[Or maybe he left the room before I finished pleading with him to stay and he came back afterwards?]
She would have been more than willing to let him go without completing their first night.
Cassia no longer has a problem with being known as the bride who did not have a first night with her new husband.
By the time she died, Cassia already knew that the two of them were estranged.
‘Oh God…’
Her lips violently twitched as she recalled some of her past memories.
Cassia practically had to manage the estate by herself. She inevitably had to become stronger in order to adequately manage everything. Unfortunately, she had to give up all of her youthful and elegant characteristics from her childhood.
Of course, she never showed it in front of other people. Whenever she encountered an upsetting situation, she would secretly spit out her swear words to keep her anger at bay.
“Let’s think about this.”
Cassia looked around her own small, unattractive bedroom, 180 degrees different from her parent’s dazzling bedroom.
Of course, it was lacking when compared to Ruberno Castle, not to say that Greze Castle was that shabby.
Even in this castle, Cassia’s bedroom was the most spacious and luxurious.
Cassia got up from her bed and walked to the dressing table, looking at herself in her mirror.
Her silver, wavy hair fluttered around her waist, and her blue eyes staring intently into the mirror were like expensive sapphires.
Cassia was not impressed by her stunningly beautiful appearance. Her appearance was satisfactory as a young girl, but after she came to Greze Estate, she felt rather her appearance was a curse.
[Didn’t she become a victim of the emperor’s public service because of her well-known beauty in the capital?]
As she gazed at her stunningly beautiful reflection in the mirror, she was certain she had returned to the winter of her seventeenth year.
It was because of her plump body, her youthful face, and, ultimately, her long hair. She had to cut her hair short when she was in Greze Castle.
Before her death, she had short hair.
Normally, ordinary ladies enjoyed long hair and putting gorgeous decorations on it, her hairstyle was unconventional.
If she explained why she had cut her hair, she would shed tears again.
At that time, a month before she was sentenced to a time limit on her life, the worst famine of all time fell upon the Greze territory, and the residents, who mainly engaged in agriculture, shed tears incessantly during the harvest season as they barely had anything to harvest.
So Cassia worked hard for the people of Greze.
She begged her husband, who she didn’t usually talk to, to lower the tax a little, and secretly adjusted the already planned budget for the next year and even sent direct support to some of the residents.
At that time, many women sold their hair in order to feed their families. Human hair was in great demand due to the popularity of the wig.
It was no exaggeration to say that two-thirds of the ladies in the capital wore Vichesan wigs, which was so popular that they made great profits from the wig business.
Vicher Decree patented and monopolized the wig business.
In order to encourage people to paddle when water comes in and to power his developing wig business, Viche Decree spent a lot of money to buy human hair.
The rarer or better the color and hair quality, the higher the price.
It was natural for the women of Greze, who had difficulties in feeding the mouths in their families, to cut their hair and sell it to Viche Decree in the neighboring territory, let alone growing it for themselves.
During the famine, there were many women with short hair in Greze.
These women were embarrassed as it was not the norm for women to have short hair.
But worst, short hair became a symbol of poverty.
In hopes of showing solidarity as the baroness as well as providing some comfort to the women, Cassia decided to also cut and sell her hair. She was very proud of her silver hair, which was a very unique color, but she was heartbroken seeing the women of Greze having to cut and sell their hair just to feed their families.
The baroness, who constantly inspects the land in the same short hair as us, is our idol and pride of the people of Greze.
It is different from Lord Zester, who shows no intentions of taking any action despite the worst famine in history, and could not even bother to look at the hardships we are suffering.
There was a reason why the people called Cassia their Lord and followed her, rather than Zester.
“It was then,” Cassia let out a deep sigh as she brushed aside her gorgeous silver hair.
That was not the only time where she suffered tremendously while fulfilling her duties as the mistress of Greze territory. Of course, every sacrifice she made was said to be for the people, but she did not have any sense of joy from performing her duties.
Just like how she cut off the hair she used to cherish.
Regardless, the great famine will strike Greze territory, poor women will cut their hair, and Cassia will have short hair together to comfort them.
Depressed.
‘I feel depressed.’
Cassia, who was sighing one after another from thinking that her life would be repeated, suddenly opened her eyes wide and realized something with a surprised face.
“No, I am going to die in 10 years anyway. You want me to suffer the same thing again? Why me?! Can’t I just do what I want to do, have what I want, and eat what I want?”
If she didn’t know the future, she would have died at the age of 27 anyway.
If God had really returned to pick her up, he would have made her live the same life again, erasing all her past memories she had suffered and haunted her.
But doesn’t she remember all of her previous miserable life?
“Returning to the past with your memory intact means not to live the same way!”
Cassia suddenly understood the deep will of her God and clapped her hands.
The many thoughts she had in her mind before she died floated through her mind.
She regretted why she didn’t live for herself, and imagined that she would have been happy if she had lived a little selfishly.
Obviously, God must have turned back time so she could live her life as she pleased.
‘If so, I have to do what I want!’ Cassia was inwardly excited.
Her now unfamiliar euphoria seized her, as the word ‘deviance’ had never existed in her previous life.
She will be a wicked noble woman.
She will be a little extravagant, put off the things that the hostess of the castle should do, and what else….
As she rolled her head, Cassia realized that she didn’t have many particularly bad things to do.
‘Shall I go to my husband and swear at him?’
No, it would confuse Zester because the events that lead to the accumulation of the hateful feelings had not yet occurred.
‘I’ll put it on hold.’
Cassia’s face brightened when she realized that the thoughts that had blossomed in such a lumpy way were limited to her being the baroness in this realm.
“Wait, why do I have to keep living with that man?”
She asked 17-year-old Cassia in the mirror.
Cassia in the mirror shook her head.
Her slowly rising corners of her lips were clearly a look of anticipation.
Let’s get a divorce.
‘I’m getting a divorce.’
Although they were married due to an imperial decree by the emperor, she could still ask for a divorce.
If they don’t get along in life, they can always break up. Divorce.
Zester was not interested in Cassia just as much as Cassia hated Zester, so the divorce may not be that difficult to obtain.
“Come to think of it, I pretended to care about someone who wasn’t interested in me in his lifetime up to the point when I died. Were you worried that I would be insulted if you were blunt until the day I died?”
Cassia didn’t even tell Zester that she did not have much time left, knowing he wouldn’t have cared whether she died or not.
However, who would have known that on the day of her death Zester with a crying face would agree to fulfill her last wishes.
The look on his face, reminding her of sadness, was quite unnatural. He even nodded his head, agreeing to whatever she said as her last requests.
Of course, he could have just said yes without any intentions of fulfilling the requests since she would not have been able to hold him to his word as she would be dead.
“I don’t know if he fulfilled the last request to stamp the divorce document, but unfortunately, I closed my eyes before that, so I don’t know…”
“If it was the husband I know, I’m sure he had agreed without much thought.”
Zester neglected Cassia throughout their marriage. He just didn’t seem to have any feelings for her, rather than because he didn’t like her.
To Zester, Cassia was nothing more than someone to take care of his terrority when he wasn’t there, someone to help keep the succession, a wife on paper, nothing more, nothing less.
Because Cassia’s parents were a great family, he didn’t feel embarrassed or even try to take advantage of it.
Zester was a man who knew nothing but war and money.
Whether the wife next to him was a commoner or noble, young or old, pretty or ugly, may not even matter to him.
He was, in a word, a person who was not thirsty for emotions and thoughts.
‘Zester Greze, let’s get a divorce!’ Cassia thought, let’s get the word out first.
She didn’t have to think about how Zester would react.
Since she returned, she decided to take bold actions in this life.
‘If I get divorced easily, I can go back to Ruberno, play, eat and fully enjoy my youth…’
Her smile vanished from her face while she was pondering how best to live the happiest life possible in the new decade.
It was because some faces suddenly came to mind.
“Rael. Lucy.”
‘Oh my God.’
‘How could I have forgotten about my children?’
The children followed their mother, Cassia, exceptionally well.
Perhaps it was natural because Zester, who was their father, failed to act as a father.
He didn’t even stay in the castle properly, and even when they met face to face, he was the one who behaved coldly…
Basically, the children who were not loved by their father were obsessed with their mother.
Even if there was a nanny, Cassia was not comfortable with someone else taking care of her children, so she took care of her children herself.
It can be said that the children contributed to Cassia’s burden in her previous life, but this was a burden she did not mind.
Her children were really good.
They were able to make her happy no matter what.
Cassia loved her son and daughter so much that she did not mind the difficult pregnancies and labor pains.
‘But… What if I get divorced?’
Her whole body was exhausted.
If she divorced Zester, Rael and Lucy would not be born in this world.
It was worse than the situation of repeating the same ten years of hard work.
‘My son and daughter must somehow see the light of the world.’
They are children who don’t even exist at this time, but she has vivid memories of them, so how can she prevent them from being born?
Just because she didn’t want to suffer twice doesn’t mean she would keep her children out of existence.
They are children who would have been born normal and lived their lives.
“Then, to meet Rael and Lucy…”
Cassia was stunned.
There was no way she would be able to conceive them by herself.