Chapter 2 – My Miracle (2)
Normally, there should be many eggs inside an ovary. Within a month, the follicle that encloses the egg will mature and break thus moving the egg into the fallopian tube to be fertilized. However, despite patients of this disease having many follicles, but when they reach a specific size, the process will simply stop and the egg doesn’t come out for ovulation.
Once she began her treatment, she had to take drugs that contained the necessary hormones and she would even often receive injections. The treatment process would always make her dizzy and cause her to want to vomit. In spite of this, Honami struggled to continue with the treatment, however, when her university entrance exam was nearing, she stopped to prepare for it. Even after becoming a college student, she was too busy with her studies. She desperately took many certifications related to the English language, making her neglect her treatment for several years.
When her marriage to Yasuhiko was decided, Honami informed him of the possibility that she couldn’t give birth due of her illness. Initially, Yasuhiko was surprised, but once he learned more about the disease, he reassured her, “You still have a possibility to get pregnant, don’t worry.”
Even after this, Honami still couldn’t get pregnant for a long time. Although she began her treatment process again, her ovulation still didn’t run smoothly. They even tried artificial insemination, however, it wasn’t going well either. “Let’s try IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). The younger you are, the more likely it is to succeed.” When the doctors suggested this, Honami was relieved because she thought that she could finally get pregnant.
However, things weren’t as she hoped it would be.
Even though they tried many times, she still wouldn’t get pregnant.
Many people would say that infertility treatment was like an invisible hallway. But for Honami, this treatment seemed like quicksand, that the deepest pits couldn’t be seen. If it was like a hallway, then there was hope that one day, it’ll all work out. However, for Honami, who had undergone a high level of treatment with nothing working, the entire procedure felt like stepping into quicksand.
There was no exit. Once she set her foot on it, she would only sink and continue to fall down. She suffered so much from the hormonal drugs, now, she was even depressed that perhaps for the rest of her life, she wouldn’t be able to have children.
Honami repeatedly thought about giving up, but each time, she would hold on to the hope that maybe this was the day she could get pregnant. Or, perhaps it was the next one. If she stopped now, it would just mean that she wasted all the money and time she spent on it. Honami’s days were stuffed with thoughts of suffering. Because of the infertility treatment; her body, soul, and even her finances were taking a hit.
“I can’t believe that treatment like this requires a lot of money. We don’t have any deposits and we can’t buy a house either,” Yasuhiko said with a sigh. Honami kept this treatment as a secret from her in-laws. However, with the chance that Yasuhiko complained to them. Her mother-in-law scolded and mocked her.
At that time, Honami felt like she reached her limit.
This next one is going to be my last. She was determined with this decision as she faced her last IVF. Fortunately, she became pregnant and succeeded in giving birth to a daughter.
My daughter, my only one.
There were no other words besides a miracle.
Yasuhiko suddenly became very gentle and even helped with the housework. Even her mother-in-law immediately turned kind and attentive. Since Yasuhiko was an only child, this baby was her first grandchild. Whenever Honami’s nausea turned severe, she would even take the time to go to Tokyo and help her. She looked so cheerful whenever she saw Homani’s stomach getting bigger.
Thanks to her daughter, the family’s atmosphere and her relationship with her in-laws had also improved. The birth of her daughter completely changed Honami’s life.
She was miserable before because of the painful infertility treatments. Therefore, Kaoru’s presence was extremely precious to her. It was a miracle for her to have Kaoru in her age.
She couldn’t help but admire her small eyes, cute lips, round fingers, and chest that regularly rose and fell. If necessary, Honami would protect this child with her life.
As Honami slowly got out of the bed after kissing Kaoru’s soft cheeks. She fixed the blanket on top of Kaoru’s shoulder. After staring at the sleeping child’s face for the last time, she finally got up.
Honami went to the kitchen, and then put water in the electric kettle to make coffee. She wanted to wake her limp body with caffeine because she had to start work again. Honami placed the electric kettle, which already contained the water in it. After pressing the ‘on’ button, the small orange light shone. It would be great if you could replace feelings as fast as this, she thought.
After the water in the kettle boiled, Honami placed the plastic dripper she bought at the 100 yen shop on top of the cup, she then covered it with paper filters. Actually, in order to simplify things, she had a coffee maker, but it was quite a hassle if she had to deal with providing space for the formula’s milk warmer. From then on, she used a coffee filter instead.
Yasuhiko, who was also a coffee addict, didn’t protest to this. He didn’t say anything even after Kaoru stopped drinking baby formula and the coffee heater was no longer needed. Since her husband also helped with the housework. It seemed that Yasuhiko also understood that using the coffee dripper was more practical as long as he wanted to heat the water. Moreover, the kitchen would seem huge without a coffee machine. Honami was genuinely grateful for having such an understanding family.