Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation
Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
[Calling for everyone: Are there any recommendations for weapons to perform exorcisms?
[I want it to be able to kill ghosts and hold off evil.]
Fang Zheng whipped out his phone and clicked into the chat group with his ex-classmates.
It was nine o’clock at night. It was the most exciting time of the day.
Soon after that, his phone buzzed; someone had replied to his text.
[Return of The Immortalized Dad From The Life-Sparing Town of Erectile Dysfunction: Demon Boiler, The Eastern Emperor Bell, Bow of The Sun, Axe of The Sky, The Banner of Pangu, The Chaotic Bell, The Hammer of Chi, The Guardian Seal, The Golden Dragon Scissor, The Mirror of Yin and Yang, The Demon-Revealing Mirror, The Seven-Arrowed Book, The Blood-Melting Blade, The Sword of the Demon Slayer, The Golden Pecker, The Purple Sword, The Ananda Sword, The Nanming Fire-Parting Sword, and The Divine Sword.]
Sst!
Fang Zheng inhaled sharply. They all sounded scary.
He grabbed his locally-made smartphone and started typing.
[Please, is there anything that is easy to get? For example, anything that can be found anywhere? Anything that’s easily obtained?]
[Society, My Brother, Is Quite Angry: The Anti-Flirt Shot.]
[???]
[Society, My Brother, Is Quite Angry: When you meet an enchantress, there is nothing an anti-flirt shot can’t fix. If there is, take two shots.]
[My Daughter-In-Law Changed The WIFI Password Again! The new one is 58436: Is this the ride to a kindergarten? I want to get off.]
A string of detergent emojis came after that.
[My Postgraduate Revision Questions Kept Blank!: The Mahogany Sword? The Money Sword? There is a website that charges 9.90 with delivery, and you get to buy one and get one free too.]
[Do I need to get them consecrated as well?]
[I heard that the mahogany used in The Mahogany Sword should be struck by lightning before it is usable for fending off the evil—there’s also a tree age requirement, isn’t there?]
[The Money Sword should also be made with ancient coins. The older they are, the more often they have been used, the stronger they are in fending off the evil. I heard that the coins should be as old as the ones used during the Ming Dynasty for this to work?]
[Calling for everyone: Is there any weapon that’s easier to access? I need the ones that can kill ghosts right away—not relying on rosaries or gems.]
[Return of The Immortalized Dad From The Life-Sparing Town of Erectile Dysfunction: If you want something that can fend off the evil yet is easy to get, I recommend the knives used by butchers. Those have strong grievances attached to them—they are definitely strong weapons.]
The effects would be on par with ten billion soul-catching banners.
If the slaughterhouse is big enough, one might be lucky enough to find a knife that has taken ten thousand souls. If possible, one might even find one that has taken a hundred thousand souls.
[Return of The Immortalized Dad From The Life-Sparing Town of Erectile Dysfunction: If you can, I recommend finding the blades used by our ancestors to behead people during ancient times.]
Fang Zheng’s eyes lit up. Why didn’t he think of this?
Of course, he was the group chat administrator.
Fang Zheng thanked everyone and went offline.
Humans are the most evolved primates of the earth. The blades used to behead people were definitely stronger in comparison to the knives of butchers.
These blades were also known as The Devil’s Blades—they were usually passed down generations in ancient times. The more people a blade had decapitated and the more bloodied it was, the stronger it was in fending off evil.
The Executioner’s Blade—with the grievances attached to it—was undoubtedly stronger than The Mahogany Sword or The Money Sword in fending off evil.
Weapons like The Executioner’s Blade were impossible to find in this day and age. With time, they had gradually disappeared.
After the Revolution and the destruction of the Four Olds, the executioners had lost their jobs.
Given that the Revolution had happened decades ago, the blades were probably extinct by now.
This was a peaceful time; weapons were listed under restricted items by the government. It would be unrealistic to try to get an Executioner’s Blade given these circumstances. That was why Fang Zheng had never planned on getting any of those as his weapon.
He had his eyes on a butcher’s knife.
A butcher’s knife was small enough to hide on his body—as long as he didn’t show it off—it was possible to hide it for a long time.
Fang Zheng rushed out to the hawker stall at the junction near his place. He wanted to meet its owner, Old Wang, to talk about a “billion-dollar” deal.
The hawker stall was at its busiest at nine o’clock at night.
Most young people either came from cyber cafés or night shifts at this hour; they would come over for supper and to meet friends.
When Fang Zheng found Old Wang, he was at his busiest for the night. The smell of oil and charcoal could be detected over half a street away.
The hawker stall had been operating for over a decade, as such, there was a steady stream of customers every night.
As someone who stayed just around the corner of the stall, Fang Zheng’s relationship with Old Wang was so good that he would help with the cooking once in a while whenever he saw how busy the stall was every time he came for supper.
The hawker stall was exceptionally busy tonight.
Even at eleven o’clock, there were still people circling around the stove, exclaiming at what they were looking at.
Ta! Ta! Ta! A man in his twenties was cutting thin and even slices of cucumber with extraordinary speed and precision, the space left between each cut was even, and every slice was as thin as paper.
People were amazed. The knife skills this man possessed were off the charts.
People were chattering.
They then witnessed the most amazing skill of flipping a wok—something that was only known in myth.
The chatter intensified.
Have you ever seen someone flip a 2kg-heavy wok at 720 degrees while cooking?
‘Have you ever seen someone make fried rice and not drop a single grain of rice while flipping the wok like that? On top of that, the egg fried rice that had come out of it was evenly fried and golden.1’
People were stunned.
The extraordinary arm and waist strength, as well as the overall strength needed to pull this off got the men watching jealously.
The stall became busier than ever: it halted traffic for a while.
“Old Wang, when did you hire such an amazing chef?”
Business only slowed down at the stall at around two in the morning. People started going home to their families—they had things to do in the morning.
“Fang Zheng, you’ve helped me out with a lot tonight.” Old Wang whipped up a few dishes and sat down for a few drinks with Fang Zheng after getting some time off.
Fang Zheng was planning to explain his intention for meeting Old Wang tonight. The hawker stall had connections with suppliers; Fang Zheng wanted to ask Old Wang if he knew any butchers or slaughterhouses, so he could get a butcher’s knife. He wanted the ones with strong grievances attached to it.
“Eh?”
Fang Zheng said softly in confusion.
He saw Old Wang pouring a box of cash into the water before making his employees wash it thoroughly.
Sst!
‘Was this…what they had meant by money-laundering?’
Fang Zheng was shocked.
“Something weird has been happening the past two days; it has got people worried.
“Someone started bleeding from his hand while counting money…after having received it…”
Old Wang took a sip of beer and said worriedly with a frown.