“Because he felt so constricted. He couldn’t breathe when he was with his parents in their house. Their house was filled with all kinds of stuff showing their fond memories of their son, so there was no space for sleeping. I heard they slept in sleeping bags. Do you think the son wants to come back to the house?”
Arum shook her head.
“The same can be applied to dating and loving someone. When your love is over, you have to empty it, just like how you throw old furniture when you buy new ones.”
“I’m afraid I can’t. It’s so precious.”
“Why is it so precious? The space you can’t use because of that trash of the past is more precious.”
“No, I still can’t…”
“You have to make way for someone to get in,” Hojoon told her in a very sweet tone.
***
Arum had a fever starting Friday night, and was sick all day long on Saturday. Fortunately, she had painkillers at hand for contingencies like this. She could not move at all as she felt achy all over her body. JIna called her once, but she was too weak to take it.
She fell asleep after she took medicine, and then had a nightmare.
Konsu was singing a sweet song for her, but when she approached one step closer, it was actually a cliff. Her body kept falling down indefinitely. She felt as if she disappeared from the space.
‘Good heavens! It’s a dream.’
She abruptly came to her senses.
She spent Sunday wandering into her dreams. She profusely broke out into a cold sweat, enough to soak her whole body. All she ate on Saturday were a few slices of fruits she had with her medicine.
She suddenly felt hungry, sighing with relief over the fact that she was alive.
She put instant rice and beef stew into a pot and boiled it. The microwave was still sealed in a package in the small room. Though she bought it while preparing furnishings for marriage, she didn’t open it. She couldn’t open it forever.
The instant rice she boiled for long turned into porridge.
Since she had something hot in her stomach, she felt she could make it. She even took out kimchi, which she didn’t go to the trouble of taking out from the refrigerator.
She had a good appetite after a long time. When she was 20, she stopped eating at all when she broke up with her boyfriend.
“Why did you do that? Eat well first before even dating!” her mother shouted at her at that time.
Arum could still vividly remember her mother’s scolding.
“How can you be so mean, mom?!” she shouted back.
Nonetheless, her mother made rice soup for her.
She regretted that she didn’t listen to her mother back then.
When she recalled her mother, kimchi came to her mind. Recently, her mother called her to take some kimchi. Did she still have some?
“Mon, I can buy kimchi at the supermarket.”
Arum used to answer like that. But she was too busy to buy kimchi. Besides, the kimchi sold at the market tasted artificial, not as natural as the one her mother made at home.
She fiddled with her smartphone.
At that moment, her phone buzzed.
“Oh my god! Mom?”
What a miraculous timing!
Do all the mothers have CCTVs embedded in their bodies to check out their sons’ and daughters’ movements?
“Why are you so surprised? Are you going around plotting something bad without letting me know?”
“No way, mom.”
She felt a prick in her heart at that moment, though.
“Did you have breakfast?”
“I’m eating it now.”
“It’s about lunch time now. Are you having breakfast only now?”
“Oh, it’s like brunch.”
“Are you kidding me? I know you’re also having lunch. Don’t try to deceive me. What are you doing during lunch time?”
“I don’t have any appointment.”
“Come over here and take some kimchi.”
“Did you make delicious kimchi?”
Her mouth had already started watering. Usually, when her mother gave a call, she called because she prepared special food for her daughter.
“I made some braised short ribs since the ribs were cheap. I’m going to share them with my neighbors. Do you want some?”
She put down the chopsticks. Goodbye to instant food today!
“Of course, mom. Let me come over right away. Did you make green onion kimchi, too? Please wrap it for me.”
“I don’t have green onion kimchi. You should have taken it before.”
“No green onion kimchi?”
“Well, my neighbor Yonju has given me some.”
“Okay. I really would like to have grilled pork belly with green onion kimchi.”
“Come quickly now.”
“Got it. Let me come right away.”
She washed her face quickly and headed for her mother’s house.
***
When she opened the front door, her mother was already preparing the dining table.
“Mom!”
The spicy fragrance of grilled pork belly filled the house. After saying hi briefly, she walked up to the gas range in the kitchen. There were very delicious pork ribs boiling in a big pot.
“Wow, it tastes so good!”
She made more than enough ribs and grilled pork belly for Arum.
“Didn’t you say you had breakfast?”
“Well I stopped eating because I wanted to have meat.”
Checking out her haggard face, her mother quickly asked, “What happened? Your face looks so haggard.”
“Nothing. I was so busy. Do you think it’s an easy job to make the best women’s magazine in Korea? I put in all my sweat and toiled to make it.”
“Are you kidding?”
Though Arum avoided answering her question with such excuses, it seemed that her mother already smelled a rat.
“I hear Konsu set the date for his wedding.”
Arum suddenly lost her appetite when she heard that.
“Are you still hurt because of him?” her mother asked.
“How did you know that, mom?”
“Yeah, I heard it from someone,” she hedged.
“Why didn’t you let me know through Kakao messenger?”
“I didn’t know how to, you know. Do you know how much I was distressed to hear that? Let me give you a warning, Arum. Don’t ever try to disturb his wedding or don’t even envy him. He is not destined to marry you.”
She became flustered. She was upset because her mother knew about Konsu’s wedding, and her mother detected her intention to screw up his marriage.
But she felt greatly relieved at that moment. She felt good about the fact that there was at least one person beside her who could take her side.
“Got it, mom. Let me eat a lot and cheer up again.”
“Great. That sounds good.”
Her mother quickly held the rice bowl and put white rice into it. She also put braised short ribs abundantly in an earthen bowl, which was more than enough for two persons.
When she looked at the spoons and chopsticks, there were three pairs of them on the table.
“Is anybody joining us?” while she was eating a side dish, Arum asked this flatly. She initially felt that her mother’s neighbor was coming. Whoever she was, Arum was excited to eat delicious food together.
“By the way, Arum…”
At that moment, she felt something weird. Putting down the chopsticks, she looked at her mother. She noticed her standing before the dining table like a shy girl.
“In fact….”
She didn’t hear it. When she mentioned ‘in fact,’ it usually involved something she didn’t expect at all or something she couldn’t take easily.
“Don’t tell me!” she shouted at her mother sharply.
“Arum!”
“I didn’t hear it, mom. I don’t want to hear it.”
“This time my situation is different. I won’t marry him. He is just a guy I’m dating now.”
“Just date him then. But date him secretly!”
After all, today’s meeting was designed for her to introduce her new boyfriend to Arum.
She was just bewildered.
All the guys that her mother introduced to her were the same. She shouted at her mother several times that her divorced father was much better than them.
Her mother had her apartment unit forfeited after underwriting the debts of the man that she met after she got divorced. She got a job at a restaurant to make a living, which she had never done before. At that time, she hurled abuses on men around her after she went through several mental and physical hardships.
But some time later, she met an insurance planner and started dating him. He was divorced and made lots of money. At that time, Arum thought favorably of him. But her mother’s romantic relationship with that man ended miserably. Her life couldn’t be more tragic at that time. After that, she vowed she would never date a man again.
But now, her mother was about to introduce another man to Arum.
Arum was so upset that she felt stiff at the back of her neck.
“I don’t regard him as a man. Just a friend. Can’t I meet a male friend?”
“Meet him as you wish. But you have to meet him outside. Why are you bringing him here often? And why do you want to introduce him to me?”
“But I want you to….”
“If I say I like him, do you want to marry him again?”
“…”
“Mom!”
“…”