Anyways, I was left alone in the bedroom, staring out the window blankly and silently thinking about more important matters.
Finally, I met Rashid Fenvernon— someone whose name actually appears in the novel. A real character in the book, and the male protagonist of 《Inevitable Fate》.
As I read in the book, ‘Alyssa’ is Rashid’s ‘first love’, but it seems like it was a title that could only be granted after death. There was a sharp contrast between his cold attitude towards me and what was said in the book. The energy he gave off was so blade-like that I felt like it was going to pierce my skin to pieces. It was an intense first meeting that was really hard to forget.
After facing him, this place felt unfamiliar. The world I crashed into might be fictional, but what matters now is that I’m here.
The world that was only a reality on paper became my reality and hit me hard. I was afraid of it because I was unfamiliar with the land that I didn’t originally grow up in.
I was the spilled ink on the paper. I was supposed to disappear behind the stage earlier, but I was still a fake actress in front of the audience.[1]
What should the uninvited guest of the story, the person who changed the fixed plot, do in the future? A dark anxiety arose in my heart, trying to gauge the kind of future I’d have no control over.
Originally, it was supposed to be 15 days after Alyssa had died that Rashid would be wallowing in regret.[2]
But Alyssa, I’m not dead.[3]
Therefore, Rashid doesn’t realize his feelings for Alyssa. His regrets have now become absent.
And because Alyssa isn’t dead, the Duchess’ seat isn’t vacant.
In such a situation, what if Priscilla, the original female lead, appears?
Even if Alyssa is alive, Rashid will still probably fall in love with Priscilla. Because that is their fate.
But what would happen to me?
If this continues on, I’ll become a hindrance to the original plot. This isn’t an ideal situation I’d want to be in and it was a stumbling block for me.
‘But I can’t drown in the river again.’
I’m worried about straying away from the original plot I know, but I don’t want to keep the original plot at the expense of my life.
Don’t tell me that I shouldn’t be alive. The possibility of this world killing me in the future isn’t possible, is it? I’m afraid that I will be forced to disappear.
I should take care of myself first. I don’t want to die miserably twice.
There is a long way to go if I want to return to the real world I lived in, and in a way, this is my second life.
Although I borrowed someone else’s body and shared her memories, it was also a chance for me to live again. In this moment, I am alive and well— even if this world wasn’t where I was born and raised in.
‘This time, I have to live a long and fulfilled life.’
My goal is to live comfortably in this complicated world.
But to do that, how should I live from now on?
If everything in the future goes like how it did in the original, then I shouldn’t stay here.
It was plausible to imagine Rashid, who was blinded by his love for Priscilla, kicking me out so Priscilla could have my position. I’m still in an ambiguous position, but if I think of myself simply as a former duchess…it’s so terrible. Maybe I should be thankful for getting kicked out alive, and not dead.
Of course, I don’t want to die like Alyssa from the original plot.
Notes:
[1]tl: it means that she had changed what the story was supposed to be.
[2]means: 15 days have passed since the original or the book timeline Alyssa died and by this time Rashid would be regretting.
[3]but she, the current Alyssa is not dead.