Translator: Henyee Translations
Editor: Henyee Translations
At the entrance of Fang Ran’s rental flat at half past one in the middle of the night…
A figure furtively appeared at the entrance of the corridor. He took a look around, confirming that there was no one in the corridor and that the motion sensors did not activate the corridor lights.
Suddenly, the figure took a brave stride forward! Passing through the narrow corridor of the rental-flat building, the figure was agile and swift, his route precise as he overcame the two biggest obstacles – the neighbour old lady’s scooter and the pickled vegetables vat with no pickled vegetables. Then, in a 100-meter route, he dashed and leapt over the final hurdle – a pile of unwanted books.
Successfully arrived!
…
At the door of your own home.
At this moment, looking at the door of his own flat (although it was a rental), Fang Ran was unable to restrain his emotions and could not help but shed silent tears!
‘Oh my God, I’m finally home.’
‘You don’t know how miserable I’ve been this entire way. It was like being a thief. It’s more miserable than being a fugitive. In order to avoid being seen by others, I f*cking made a detour and went down five streets!!!’
‘Without wearing jeans, I made a detour along five streets!!!’
Fang Ran had a bitter taste in his mouth at the moment, and all he wanted was to quickly enter the house to drink a cup of warm water to recover from his fright. Out of habit, he reached for his pocket..
…
Without any pants, naturally, there was no pocket, which of course meant that there was no key.
“F*ck! I almost forgot, I didn’t bring my key today.”
Fang Ran sighed weakly. That’s right, if he had his key, he would not have to use his belt as a magic wand out of desperation.
Glancing at the belt that had been restored to its original form around his waist, he suddenly looked to the sky in melancholy.
However, no matter what the current situation was, Fang Ran still felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Although he had not recovered from his shock, he had at least relaxed. Reaching his hand out, he groped around the door frame and fished out a metal object out of the hinge.
“Thankfully, the emergency measure is still… That is to say, emergency measures can really be put to use.”
Fang Ran exhaustedly grumbled to himself one last time, before inserting the key into the door lock. Just when Fang Ran was about to open the door, in the blink of an eye…
The old women in the apartments to his left and right turned on their lights at the same time!
“Who is it! A thief?!”
Scared out of his wits, Fang Ran hurriedly rushed into his own house and swiftly shut the door.
Fang Rang’s rental flat was not huge. It was just one of the many apartments in a tiny two-storey building. As the saying goes, the sparrow may be small but all its vital organs are still there. His apartment had a bedroom, living room, kitchen, and a bathroom. It was also close to his school. The only drawback was that on the second floor, he was caught between two old women to his left and right. Other than that, there was nothing wrong with it.
The interior of the apartment was also very simple. Apart from Fang Ran’s daily necessities, there was only an old television that still relied on a signal tower.
Turning on the light, Fang Ran spreadeagled on the floor of his living room, feeling the warmth of the carpet, which might have been heated by the sun. Exhaustion washed over him and he never wanted to get up again.
‘From the moment I entered that station, what exactly had I gone through? Was all that real?’
‘The station collapsed just like that. The building collapsed just like that. The high wall collapsed just like that.’
…
‘Damn it, why do I keep thinking about things collapsing?!’
“I think I might need to relax a little,”
Fang Ran said with a serious face, before turning on the only electronic product for entertainment purposes in his apartment – the old TV! (Cue Pokonyan music)
Watching the dry and boring TV programme that was as mediocre as always, Fang Ran’s heart gradually calmed down.
“Doctor Liu, then do you think… Um? Wait! I’m sorry, ladies and gentlemen, we’re interrupted by a sudden piece of shocking news.”
Suddenly, the beautiful hostess, who was the only bright spot of the TV program that Fang Ran was watching, panicked, before saying this apologetically. Right on the heels of that, a piece of breaking news was inserted.
Fang Ran yawned, not wanting to watch it at all. When he nonchalantly changed the channel, he realized that the other channel was also reporting on that piece of news.
He changed the channel again, and it was still there!
Fang Ran was shocked. ‘Oh my, what’s going on? What could have happened for this piece of news to be urgently inserted on all the main TV stations in the middle of the night?’
“Heh, must be something big. I can already envision tomorrow’s trending headline.”
Fang Ran nodded his head and mumbled to himself with a serious expression on his face. He immediately tossed the wandering thoughts in his head and paid close attention to the news. He then saw that on TV, the two news anchors, who usually calmly reported major news, had serious and anxious expressions on their faces right now as they opened their mouths to explain,
“Dear viewers, just moments ago, an extremely vile incident took place.”
“During an official recovery operation, a suspicious man had suddenly appeared, interfering with the official purchase operation at the last possible minute and snatched away the recovery target,” the female anchor said right after.
“According to the director of the relevant department, the item that the suspect had snatched away is very likely to be a historical relic equivalent to the level of a national treasure,” the male anchor continued in a serious voice.
“The relevant departments have already launched operations. Although the identity of the suspect is unknown, it is expected that his identity will be uncovered very soon.”
Sitting in front of the TV, Fang Ran was clicking his tongue in amazement at the moment, eager to watch the drama unfold.
‘Oh my God, a historical relic equivalent to the level of a national treasure. To think that there really is an idiot who would dare to lay hands on it. I’m impressed with the thief’s stupidity!’
‘Indeed, a true man has the ability to urinate to ten feet away while facing the wind! Impressive! He has my respect!’
“National treasure? Did it not cross that idiot’s mind that even if he gets his hands on it, he won’t be able to sell it off? With the nation’s deterrent force, who would f*cking dare to buy it? In the end, you’ll still end up getting exposed and dying a gruesome death,”
Fang Ran shook his head and condemned the thief’s lack of foresight. Then, he exclaimed in astonishment again,
“But this is a huge deal. To insert a piece of breaking news in the middle of the night, looks like even the wanted murderer that has been featured in the newspapers recently will not be able to match it.”
Definitely the headline!
Fang Ran felt like he could already see the ending.
Fang Ran got up and was planning to go to sleep. After all, the trouble he had gone through on the way back was about the same as that of fugitives. However, just at that moment, a light blue transparent interface appeared in front of Fang Ran.
[Ding! The reward is in the account, do you want to accept it?]
[Yes/No]
“Um…” Like someone who had been beaten out of a peaceful dream, Fang Ran stiffly turned his head around to look at it.
‘That’s right, sure enough, it was not my imagination.’
Glancing at the belt that was still around his waist, Fang Ran suddenly slumped his shoulders resignedly and said feebly,
“Yes.”
[Ding! Reward given out]
Hiss! Hiss! The faint blue light flickered. A hole that looked like a wormhole opened up to reveal an object which then slowly landed in Fang Ran’s hands. It was a metal object about the size of a human head and it was somewhat smooth. With a dropped jaw, Fang Ran took a closer look, eh? The sculpture seems to be the head of an animal?
This is a… ummmm…
Snake?
Fang Ran was baffled. ‘What is this thing? Reward? It can’t be, right? The reward of that who-the-hell-knows-what Night Battle is this thing?!’
He was completely stupefied. ‘The reward for me being chased like hell down ten streets is this thing?! F*ck! I feel cheated, and f*ck you again, based on the usual flow of events, don’t they always give an item that can immediately reverse the fate of the protagonist?!’
‘Gene potions, body enhancer, or point rewards! At the bare minimum, you can just give me some money!’
So at the end of the day, I got swept in and risked my life in the process, other than the power of a magical girl, I didn’t get anything of value…
With no strength left, Fang Ran fell to his knees while holding the bronze statue. ‘Damn it. If possible, I don’t want the power of the magical girl either.’
‘That said, what the hell is this thing?’
Fang Ran examined the bronze statue in his hands again. All of a sudden, out of the corner of his eyes, he caught a glimpse of a button that seemed to be a system explanation. Embracing the idea of just giving it a try, Fang Ran pressed the button. Sure enough, detailed information appeared!
[Bronze statue of the twelve Dashuifa1 animal heads in the Old Summer Palace – The snake zodiac.
In 1860, due to the invasion of the allied British and French forces, it was lost overseas. Due to its former link with this humiliating history, it has extremely high historical value and is a historical relic of national-treasure grade.]
Fang Ran was speechless.
Fang Ran was speechless.
Fang Ran was speechless.
Fang Ran covered his face and was speechless.
Fang Ran fell to his knees once again and remained speechless.
Dashuifa, snake zodiac, historical relic of national-treasure grade.
All of a sudden, Fang Ran understood something.
Under the tremendous shock and ‘what-the-f*cks’ that washed over him, a thought suddenly popped up in his head,
‘It turns out that the idiot who ‘stole’ the historical relic is me!’
Pfft!
Fang Ran felt like he had been stabbed in the heart, spurting out his old-man blood.
Fang Ran, twenty years old. Not a bad age to…
…
Ugh!
Fang Ran, twenty years old. Fugitive at large, does not smoke, does not drink, does not engage in male homosexual practices, a virgin, the time he has been single is about the same as his age, has not passed the Level 4 exam despite taking it three times, was confessed to by a male friend the day before yesterday. In the first half of the year, he lost his money three times, missed his stop six times, and got rejected seven times…
At present, he will probably make the headlines tomorrow.