Translator: Henyee Translations
Editor: Henyee Translations
“Ring ring ring!!!”
In the early morning, when the sky was just getting bright, all of a sudden, an urgent alarm rang out in Fang Ran’s rented apartment. After a while, a hand stretched out from under the covers and groped around his bedside table. It found the rough spot and gave it a hard smack!
Dong!
It seemed that something else was smacked instead.
“Ring ring ring!!!”
The alarm clock was still ringing when that hand continued fumbling to the side.
Smack!
“Ah! My nose bridge! Nose bridge!”
“Are you mad? Why would you set an alarm on a public holiday!”
Early in the morning, Ling, who was sleeping soundly, was smacked for no reason. Instantly, she was fuming mad and directly smacked Fang Ran’s face!
‘Great, now everybody won’t get to sleep.’
“Get up! Hurry up! There is something to do today!”
The corner of Ling the Xiaomi power bank poked at Fang Ran’s cheeks as she said furiously.
“Hah, I find it very strange, why do you always seem so angry? You should be calm. Stay calm.”
Poking his head out from the covers, Fang Ran earnestly advised Ling.
Get lost! Isn’t it because you always piss me off!
The power bank was floating directly above him, seeming like it was going to come slamming down if he disagreed.
Upon seeing this situation, Fang Ran sighed helplessly and got up to get dressed.
“Where are we going?”
“Don’t ask, wear what you wore last night… Uh, forget it, just find anything in a dark color and put it on.”
Fang Ran was puzzled, but did not ask. He casually found a set of clothes. When he was about to put it on, he abruptly froze! He just remembered something!
“Wait! When I just change like this, don’t you see everything!?”
He hugged a pile of clothes and covered his chest, like a beauty who was changing and having the male protagonist of a web novel barged in on her.
Instantly, Ling was so angry that she was about to vomit blood. She roared at Fang Ran.
“Get lost! What can I look at! What do you have that I want to look at?!”
“Sure enough, you saw it. Sigh… Public morals are degrading with each passing day. Morals are not what they were in the old days.” Fang Ran muttered to himself as he changed into another set of clothes.
This pervert…
She trembled in anger. But when she thought about how she had to rely on this idiot in order to escape from her current predicament, she forced herself to hold it in.
“I’m done, where are we going?”
Fang Ran was done changing into his clothes. He wore a loose and wide T-shirt with Crayon Shin-chan blushing and smiling foolishly on it.
Ling was speechless.
‘Forget it, I shan’t argue with an idiot.’
Ling immediately pulled out the Darknet interface. Her feelings were in turmoil as she thought about how before yesterday, she had been the Night Roaming Angel of the Darknet, yet now, she had fallen from grace and became a Xiaomi power bank that even going back to the backyard of the Darknet had her feeling touched.
Damn it.
Ling opened an interface and entered a string of numbers, together with 13 alphabets and a mysterious symbol that was on her keyboard. The sound of the system prompt sound immediately rang out.
“Ding! The special qualification has been approved. You have permission to enter the special scenario.”
“Ding! The teleportation is about to begin!”
“Damn it! Xiaomi, what did you do! What the hell is this!”
Seeing the interface that the system reflected all of a sudden, Fang Ran was instantly shocked and quickly questioned his summoned beast.
Only to see that the power bank floating nonchalantly, as she played it down and said in a Loli’s voice,
“It’s nothing. It’s just a special scenario with pretty good rewards that can only be entered with a special qualification. I just happen to have this qualification.”
Hearing that it was another scenario and recalling that afternoon with the station collapsing, the skyscraper collapsing, being chased to his death, being chased to his death and being chased to his death, Fang Ran shuddered and suddenly bellowed thunderously,
“F*ck you! I won’t go! I won’t go! Ah!”
“Heh~”
Ling sneered. ‘Don’t want to go?’
‘That’s not up to you!’
With a flash of light, Fang Ran was instantly dazzled!
…
…
When Fang Ran snapped out of it, he was already on a plane.
It was not the kind of passenger plane flight. Looking at the people sitting on the two long rows of seats on both sides of the plane that were facing each other, putting aside the fact that everyone seemed bizarre, just this pattern…
‘Tsk, it seems somewhat familiar…’
Fang Ran was still a little stupefied. Furthermore, he realised that the outfit of the people in this cargo aircraft were all very cool. He looked at the old man sitting next to him. He was in a black robe with a large hood, and his face could not even be seen.
Dang old man, your outfit is awesome!
Are you a Moko Ancient Monk?
The word ‘dumbfounded’ was written all over Fang Ran’s face. F*ck, what the hell did that unreliable summoned beast do, digging a trap for her owner!
Sadly, it was Fang Ran’s first time taking an airplane. Hence, he had no choice but to learn from the others and held onto the shoulder straps tightly with both hands.
Hmm?
Shoulder straps?
Ordinarily on airplanes, even if it was a cargo aircraft, there would not be anyone holding onto a backpack. Could this be…
Stiffly, Fang Ran turned his head and looked at the backpack behind him. The words ‘Military Parachute’ were clearly written on it.
At this moment, the floor of the cabin under his feet suddenly opened, and everyone was ‘thrown’ out of the plane along with their chairs.
Please imagine for a moment that it was you in this position. A person who had never even been on an airplane, was now plummeting from the sky thousands of meters above ground…
What will happen?
“Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As it was happening to Fang Ran right now, there was nothing but earth-shattering, prolonged, blood-curdling screams, and Fang Ran’s final thought in his mind at this moment.
‘F*ck that cheating power bank, this is PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds (PUBG)!’
‘Also, I don’t know how to use a parachute!’
…
Fortunately, the PUBG parachute automatically opened by itself when it reached a certain altitude. This successfully prevented newbies like Fang Ran, who did not even know how to use a parachute, from falling to their deaths. However, the fact of the matter was that if Fang Ran dared to open his eyes and raise his head to take a look, he would have realised something.
Many of the other passengers didn’t even need a parachute. They cut off their parachute bag, and each of them used their special powers to fly or slide down, descending quickly.
On Fang Ran’s end.
“Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!!!!!!”
The heroic and miserable howls at the top of his lungs continued…
Then with his eyes closed, he clinged onto the parachute for dear life and directly floated into the city below.
It was night time. The dark sky shrouded the earth. The bustling city was brightly lit, but there was no sign of human habitation at all.
It was exactly the same as Fang Ran’s previous experience in Los Angeles.
“Ah ah ah ah ah ah!!!!!!”
“Stop screaming! Don’t you realise that you have landed!”
At this moment, Fang Ran, who had landed on a humongous tree, felt his feet still hanging in the air. He was still fighting to his last breath and screaming miserably with the lofty spirit of ‘If you dare to drop me, I’ll dare to die’. In the end, Ling could not bear watching any longer. It popped out of the backpack and fiercely smashed onto his face to make him come to his senses.
“Ah! My nose bridge! Nose bridge!”
Fang Ran, who had come to his senses due to the severe pain, realized that he was only one meter above ground at the moment. Immediately, he was relieved. He undid the parachute buckle, and then confidently…
Fell to the ground.
“What are you doing!”
“My legs are jelly, I can’t stand up…”
Fang Ran mumbled weakly. Right now, after going through a freefall of thousands of meters in the sky, he felt like his bones had turned to dust.
‘What?! You calling me trash?’
‘Come on then! Come and try falling from the sky! If your legs don’t turn to jelly, I’ll change my family name to yours!’
Seriously a loser… Ling was speechless when she saw how utterly useless Fang Ran was. She doubted herself as to whether she was right or wrong in wasting a precious qualification on him.
“Listen up. In this scenario, the city will randomly release targets all over the place. The targets’ grades are not high, just some E-grade miscellaneous minions.”
The Xiaomi power bank floated to Fang Ran’s side and began to explain in a Loli’s voice.
“Kill them, and the rewards will be given immediately after. It is the most suitable for newbies like you to gain strength rapidly. Try your best to eliminate the others. At the end, you just need to kill the E-grade top-50 target which will be the last of the targets that will be released.”
“It’s really PUBG…” Fang Ran groaned dumbfoundedly. Then he turned around and left. Heading towards a dense patch of greenery he said righteously,
“But, I’m sorry! In PUBG, I’ll always hide till the end. I will never make a move!”
After finishing his sentence, Fang Ran jumped straight into the grass, completely hiding his body and looking like he was going to remain in hiding till the end of time.
Ling was silent and trembling with anger (the power bank trembled). Just as she was about to roar at Fang Ran and smack his face, another low, furtive voice came from the grass.
“Eh? Buddy, what a coincidence. You chose this patch of grass too.”