Was it because of the incident at the dress store earlier? Now everybody’s glances aren’t as uncomfortable as before. Walking next to Edwin, Asaya was able to explore the streets in a more comfortable and relaxed atmosphere.
After walking a while, they arrived at a large building. There was a restaurant located on top with a white sign with the restaurant’s business name. It was simple but strangely stood out. It was a little difficult to climb up the stairs to get to the restaurant but once they got to the top, the view of Matthia Square was magnificent.
“Choose what you’d like to eat.” Edwin said.
“Then.. I’ll go with steak.” Asaya said.
“I’ll have the same thing.”
“Very well.” The employee disappeared with the menu, and another employee brought out the wine bottle, wine glasses, and hot bread. Asaya ate the freshly baked pre-dinner bread and gazed at the panoramic view of Matthia Square.
“The view of Matthia Square from above is much more beautiful than I had imagined.”
“Let’s watch as much as you like during meal time. You couldn’t even look around properly earlier because you were uncomfortable with people’s attention.”
“I looked around enough. After leaving the dress store, I felt comfortable and enjoyed sightseeing. It’s a wonderful day today.”
“You don’t have to say anything you don’t have in your heart. I know that all you did today was hard work.” Edwin said.
“What kind of hardship would that be? Well, It was true that people’s glances were uncomfortable, but it was a pleasure to see the wonderful scenery. I feel like I’m in a whole new world. I realized that the world inside the wall has changed a lot over the past seven years.” Asaya said.
The meal they ordered came out. While it was being served, Asaya took in the view of Matthia Square to her eyes. She could never have imagined the experience of enjoying a fine meal in such a beautiful place. The city surrounded by colorful lights was full of beauty and vitality, and people from various provinces came and went, but there seemed to be no room for strangers from outside the walls to blend in. However, after the incident at the dress store, Asaya had a proper confidence boost.
“It was like a miracle. The Lord gave me a miracle.”
Edwin, who was cutting the steak, stopped and looked at Asaya.
“I feel more real now that I’m here. I feel like this is what I live for, and I can finally breathe.”
Edwin looked at Asaya silently and frowned for some reason
“Miracle? No, I just offered you a deal. I didn’t give it to you. It’s a mutual agreement. You don’t have to thank me unconditionally. You bet your life on this deal. I think this is not something you have to thank me for. Do you have resentment?”
“Resentment?” Asaya asked in confusion.
“I brought you in for a bargain. Aren’t you aware that your life is tied to me? I took the most important thing from you. Freedom. It’s an absolute value that can’t be priced with anything, and you still thank me?”
Asaya listened calmly to Edwin and smiled at him.
“From the very beginning, there was no such thing as freedom. What freedom is there for lowly people who can’t even be treated as humans? And even if it was there, I wouldn’t have thought it was sold at a bargain price. The cheap price for the lord is not the cheap price for me.”
“But the relationship that I bought with money doesn’t change.”
A relationship was bought with money… Asaya laughed bitterly at the heartless line. All of this wonderful life was freely offered. The relationship with Edwin was also just…made up.
“Thank you for the lack of resentment.” Edwin said.
“Why should I resent? You didn’t force me to do it. I accepted the offer with my own free will. Why shouldn’t I be grateful?” Asaya said.
“You’re not aware of how reckless you’ve been.” Edwin put down the steak knife. “Aren’t you aware of how dangerous your loyalty is for me now?”
Blind loyalty seems dangerous. He slowly opened his mouth, thinking he had to draw a clear line about this relationship.
“As a Grand Duke, I’ll give you everything you can enjoy but that’s it.”
A calm voice drew a line coldly.
“I will bind you in the shackles of marriage, but I will never be able to treat you lovingly as my wife. You’ll live with just the shell of the Grand Duchess. So even if you marry me, you can’t have children or have a family full of love. You have to live your life tied to me. It means that if you have someone you love, you can’t go to that person. That’s what selling life is like. It’s not something to be grateful for. It means you don’t have your initiative in your life.”
At Edwin’s words that followed, Asaya slowly brooded the cold words. The more she brooded, the more cruel the words were. It was too much to take in while enjoying a fine meal at a restaurant with the spectacular city view. However, the words were natural and realistic. Asaya wasn’t hoping for anything more here, and Edwin’s words were a reminder to bring her back to reality. She realized that this relationship was only good on the outside.
“It’s not something to thank me for. It doesn’t matter if you resent and hate me. You shouldn’t be grateful.”
“Are you saying I hate you?” Asaya asked.
“I don’t mean to do that, but at least don’t treat me as a benefactor. I am not your benefactor. I’m not the one who deserves your blind loyalty. Do you understand what I mean?”
Edwin clearly drew a line so that they wouldn’t get any closer. In the end, he wanted this relationship to remain only for mutual interests. Thanks to this, Asaya’s spirit was lifted. Living in a dreamlike reality, she forgot for a moment that this place was real.
“Yes, a relationship that was bought only with money, I knew it from the beginning. There is no reason to be disappointed…” Asaya thought to herself.
She didn’t expect much. She thought that they could get along better. Either it was a contract or a lifelong relationship, Edwin was a good person. She thought that if she spent time together with this person, their relationship would be improved for the better. She had such expectations. However, this relationship was nothing more than a business relationship from start to finish.
“I know what you mean. If the Lord’s will is like that, I will do as you wish.”
There was no way that a commoner could live with a high-ranking noble. Were his praises so far just an act of necessity? Asaya silently sliced the steak. She didn’t hate him or think lowly of him. It was better to draw the line clearly than to leave it vaguely. However, apart from this, she felt somewhat complicated.
The meat was soft but for some reason it was hard to chew. Along with the feeling of a stiff neck, shame filled up. Great atmosphere, splendid views, delicious food, and dazzlingly beautiful marriage partners. A date with all the perfect conditions should end happily, but only bitter resentment remains. Such a splendid night passed.
******
Edwin also recognized that the end of the date, which should have ended pleasantly, was the worst. It was a money-related relationship, but it didn’t have to be bad. Why did he have to be so harsh towards her? Nonetheless, it was a choice Edwin couldn’t resist in the situation. It was a relationship that started under a clear deal, Asaya smiled and thanked him for what was offered as a result of the deal. Every time she did so, Edwin felt a lump in his throat. He was not a good man. He shouldn’t be. He was supposed to be bloodless and tearless, but he still had conscience. It was not very pleasant to hear the words “thank you” in this situation, which was tantamount to the use of violence against a woman who had nothing.
“How come you’re stuck in your study when you’re supposed to be having a good time?” Marshall asked.
Edwin sighed slightly and looked at Marshall. The competent subordinate was very meddlesome. Sometimes very annoying.
“Did you enjoy your time outside?” Marshall asked.
“Not really.” Edwin reluctantly answered.
“Is that why your mood has subsided? I just feel as though your mood is different before taking vacation and after coming back. Did something happen?” Marshall asked.
“You have a lot of interest in people’s business, don’t you?”
“People’s business? It’s my job to care about my employer’s business.” Marshall laughed sarcastically.
Edwin felt more tired talking to Marshall, then he pressed his hand against his eyes.
“Did you have a fight with Lady Asaya?”
“No.”
“Then you don’t need to exhaust yourself like this.”
Edwin removed his hand from his eyes and looked at Marshall. It was an unpleasant look, but Marshall shrugged without worrying.
“I know there are many things on your mind, but please take a good rest during your break.”
Edwin gave no answer. He was lost in thought. He wasn’t a person who cared much about the feelings of others. His feelings were also dull, but there was no reason to tirelessly count the feelings of others. He didn’t care about anyone in the first place. It’s annoying. The thought itself bothered him again.
“If you want me to take a break, would you like to leave now?” Edwin asked.
“I will. But don’t worry too much, all your hair will fall out.” Marshall said.
“I wonder if my hair will fall or if your head will get cut off first.” Edwin said threateningly.
“Then have a good night.” Marshall hurried off.
Edwin closed his eyes at the serenity. The surroundings were quiet, but he didn’t know why it was so noisy in his head. Having in mind something that wasn’t supposed to be there and then worried about it, he went beyond his scope of understanding. The feeling was unfamiliar and annoying. Having to care about something was very tiring anyways. Was it the wrong choice to bring her inside the wall? It was a good calculation of the benefits that could be gained by bringing the commoner in. But why did the calculated situation start to deviate little by little?
“Ha.” He exhaled heavily. The sleepless night was just getting deeper.