Chapter 21 Part 1. How We Will Be Different
*****
Edwin didn’t use strength. He was just holding her wrist lightly. There was no coercive movement. Still, Asaya couldn’t move as if her whole body was bound by chains. She felt overwhelmed by a beast that could immediately reveal its fangs and bite her throat. The weight felt above was moderate. Rather than being reluctant to feel crushed, her heart was pounding. Asaya was sure that he would not do anything, and in fact Edwin did nothing. It was just a beautiful devil looking down from above, and she was trapped in his arms.
The man called the devil was still beautiful. Even if the shade under his eyes was darkened from tiredness, even if his lips, which were usually reddish, faded slightly, it did not matter at all to his beauty. Rather, it only added a subtle atmosphere to the beauty.
“No rejection?”
“You didn’t do anything.”
“Don’t you think I’m planning to?”
Asaya pondered for a moment. His sudden change of attitude was embarrassing, but it wasn’t surprising. She expected this to happen anyway, and she was prepared. But for some reason, she wasn’t afraid or scared. She didn’t know why, but Asaya was convinced that Edwin would not turn into a beast. Because she was convinced that they were like water and oil that could not be mixed. She thought she would never have to sleep with him now or in the future.
“You have the authority here, so how can I say anything no matter what you do?”
In an extremely passive attitude, Edwin smiled and frowned.
“It sounds like you’re already surrendered.”
“Then what should I do? You and I made a deal, and with that deal, you have the authority over not only my body but also my life. I have no complaints because It’s a deal that I took up on. Even if the Duke is holding me here right now .. I can’t do anything about it.”
Edwin briefly clicked his tongue. It was amazing to see her lying defenselessly. Asaya’s attitude of being a puppet as if it was okay was strangely annoying, but he couldn’t find fault with it because she wasn’t really wrong.
“You’re awfully realistic.”
“Because I learned that pride will not feed me.”
Asaya Lubedoa was more realistic than anyone, as a woman who had lived in the land of temptation. However, it was too much for Edwin, who had almost no emotions. He understood the environment she lived in made her think that way. However, for some reason, Edwin did not like Asaya’s blind obedience.
“Okay, I didn’t even intend to forcefully hug you from the beginning anyway, but seeing you like this makes me lose my strength.”
“Of course, I already knew that you didn’t want to do anything from the beginning.”
“Are you sure that I will never touch you?”
“Yes.”
With such a firm conviction caused Edwin to become curious.
“Why?”
And Asaya replied as if it were too natural.
“Because you have plenty of women throw themselves at you.”
Asaya knew very well through the talkative Lucia and Diana, how women were involved in the scandal with Edwin Kabelheider. All of them were women with status, knowledge, and honor. After hearing about them all the time, Asaya became aware of reality. As Edwin was a great man, and such a great man would always attract outstanding women. That was why Asaya was convinced that there was no reason for Edwin to force a woman from outside the wall like her. Why would a nobleman like Edwin want to bother with someone like her anyway? It would never happen.
“There’s no reason for you to be bothered with a woman from outside the wall.”
The answer, which seemed natural, touched Edwin’s heart. Asaya always put herself down. That may be the way of life she has been living, but Edwin already told her many times to adapt to her new status because she was no longer living outside the wall. However, Asaya was still seeing herself as a lowly person to the end. Edwin pulled Asaya’s wrist, and her small body quickly came into his arms.
“Have l ever treated you as a lowly woman outside the wall ever since I brought you here? In my memory, it doesn’t seem I have, not even once.”
“That’s right, there wasn’t.”
“But why are you so sure? Do you think that I think you’re a lowly woman and I won’t touch you? Do you think I see you as a dirty person?”
The atmosphere has changed subtly. Edwin’s face was lowered right in front of hers. It was such a short distance that she could feel his breath on her face. At best, 3cm, if he stepped forward a little, their lips would touch. Asaya gazed at Edwin’s calmly sunken pupils, realizing that something was going wrong. Her face felt hot. As the danger alarm rang loudly, her heart began to pound.
“It’s difficult if you define our relationship alone. It will be different if I am interested in you.”
His large, long hands covered Asaya’s face. The smoothly stretched fingers gently rubbed her skin and hair. With a very gentle touch, the heat rose, and her mind was confused. The breath she felt right in front of her nose felt sweeter than before.
“I’m curious. How will we be different from now on?”
His lips, which had been keeping a close distance, touched hers closely. His hand that touched her cheek moved to the back of her head and stroked through her hair. At this moment, all the doubts and reasons were broken. Asaya closed her eyes and instinctively wrapped Edwin’s waist.
Her head was confused, but the pleasure of impulsive behavior came first. She decided to let go of the complicated thoughts. Even if after thinking about it for a hundred days, the answer to this moment would never come out. It was because of the sudden atmosphere. The kind of atmosphere made people feel impulsive. Since both were not in a rational state, it was not a situation that would make sense, so Asaya rationalized it in her head.
His body, wrapped around hers, was both firm and warm. The bare skin on his chest was madly soft, and his whole body smelled of pleasant perfume. It was warm and cozy. Asaya felt like she was curled up in a soft and warm blanket in the middle of the harsh winter. It was dangerous, but it felt good. She seemed to melt away in his warmth.
Her body, resembling the bare branches of a cold winter tree, was too warm by the heat. It was dazzling and soft as if embracing the morning sun. Even though it was only an extremely impulsive act, Asaya felt the illusion of being loved. Does being loved feel like this? It was ironic that she felt the warmth and love from this uncomfortable relationship. The warmth which she had never felt by the man (Reibene) who she once believed they were in love.
However, the lips that had been in contact for a long time, fell. Edwin frowned as he looked at Asaya as hard as a wooden statue.
“That’s why being impulsive is dangerous. Well, it doesn’t matter. You are sure to be more alert now.”
It was the same as last time. It was Edwin who kissed her first, but he was surprisingly calm. In a way, he was shameless. Still, Asaya didn’t have the courage to openly ask him what this kiss meant. No, in fact, it was likely to be a meaningless act. If she asked, probably only a ferocious answer would come back. She might be treated as a fool if she asked for the meaning of an impulsive kiss. Perhaps there was no meaning. Maybe his kiss was just an indirect demonstration that there could be physical touching in the future.
*****
Edwin didn’t use strength. He was just holding her wrist lightly. There was no coercive movement. Still, Asaya couldn’t move as if her whole body was bound by chains. She felt overwhelmed by a beast that could immediately reveal its fangs and bite her throat. The weight felt above was moderate. Rather than being reluctant to feel crushed, her heart was pounding. Asaya was sure that he would not do anything, and in fact Edwin did nothing. It was just a beautiful devil looking down from above, and she was trapped in his arms.
The man called the devil was still beautiful. Even if the shade under his eyes was darkened from tiredness, even if his lips, which were usually reddish, faded slightly, it did not matter at all to his beauty. Rather, it only added a subtle atmosphere to the beauty.
“No rejection?”
“You didn’t do anything.”
“Don’t you think I’m planning to?”
Asaya pondered for a moment. His sudden change of attitude was embarrassing, but it wasn’t surprising. She expected this to happen anyway, and she was prepared. But for some reason, she wasn’t afraid or scared. She didn’t know why, but Asaya was convinced that Edwin would not turn into a beast. Because she was convinced that they were like water and oil that could not be mixed. She thought she would never have to sleep with him now or in the future.
“You have the authority here, so how can I say anything no matter what you do?”
In an extremely passive attitude, Edwin smiled and frowned.
“It sounds like you’re already surrendered.”
“Then what should I do? You and I made a deal, and with that deal, you have the authority over not only my body but also my life. I have no complaints because It’s a deal that I took up on. Even if the Duke is holding me here right now .. I can’t do anything about it.”
Edwin briefly clicked his tongue. It was amazing to see her lying defenselessly. Asaya’s attitude of being a puppet as if it was okay was strangely annoying, but he couldn’t find fault with it because she wasn’t really wrong.
“You’re awfully realistic.”
“Because I learned that pride will not feed me.”
Asaya Lubedoa was more realistic than anyone, as a woman who had lived in the land of temptation. However, it was too much for Edwin, who had almost no emotions. He understood the environment she lived in made her think that way. However, for some reason, Edwin did not like Asaya’s blind obedience.
“Okay, I didn’t even intend to forcefully hug you from the beginning anyway, but seeing you like this makes me lose my strength.”
“Of course, I already knew that you didn’t want to do anything from the beginning.”
“Are you sure that I will never touch you?”
“Yes.”
With such a firm conviction caused Edwin to become curious.
“Why?”
And Asaya replied as if it were too natural.
“Because you have plenty of women throw themselves at you.”
Asaya knew very well through the talkative Lucia and Diana, how women were involved in the scandal with Edwin Kabelheider. All of them were women with status, knowledge, and honor. After hearing about them all the time, Asaya became aware of reality. As Edwin was a great man, and such a great man would always attract outstanding women. That was why Asaya was convinced that there was no reason for Edwin to force a woman from outside the wall like her. Why would a nobleman like Edwin want to bother with someone like her anyway? It would never happen.
“There’s no reason for you to be bothered with a woman from outside the wall.”
The answer, which seemed natural, touched Edwin’s heart. Asaya always put herself down. That may be the way of life she has been living, but Edwin already told her many times to adapt to her new status because she was no longer living outside the wall. However, Asaya was still seeing herself as a lowly person to the end. Edwin pulled Asaya’s wrist, and her small body quickly came into his arms.
“Have l ever treated you as a lowly woman outside the wall ever since I brought you here? In my memory, it doesn’t seem I have, not even once.”
“That’s right, there wasn’t.”
“But why are you so sure? Do you think that I think you’re a lowly woman and I won’t touch you? Do you think I see you as a dirty person?”
The atmosphere has changed subtly. Edwin’s face was lowered right in front of hers. It was such a short distance that she could feel his breath on her face. At best, 3cm, if he stepped forward a little, their lips would touch. Asaya gazed at Edwin’s calmly sunken pupils, realizing that something was going wrong. Her face felt hot. As the danger alarm rang loudly, her heart began to pound.
“It’s difficult if you define our relationship alone. It will be different if I am interested in you.”
His large, long hands covered Asaya’s face. The smoothly stretched fingers gently rubbed her skin and hair. With a very gentle touch, the heat rose, and her mind was confused. The breath she felt right in front of her nose felt sweeter than before.
“I’m curious. How will we be different from now on?”
His lips, which had been keeping a close distance, touched hers closely. His hand that touched her cheek moved to the back of her head and stroked through her hair. At this moment, all the doubts and reasons were broken. Asaya closed her eyes and instinctively wrapped Edwin’s waist.
Her head was confused, but the pleasure of impulsive behavior came first. She decided to let go of the complicated thoughts. Even if after thinking about it for a hundred days, the answer to this moment would never come out. It was because of the sudden atmosphere. The kind of atmosphere made people feel impulsive. Since both were not in a rational state, it was not a situation that would make sense, so Asaya rationalized it in her head.
His body, wrapped around hers, was both firm and warm. The bare skin on his chest was madly soft, and his whole body smelled of pleasant perfume. It was warm and cozy. Asaya felt like she was curled up in a soft and warm blanket in the middle of the harsh winter. It was dangerous, but it felt good. She seemed to melt away in his warmth.
Her body, resembling the bare branches of a cold winter tree, was too warm by the heat. It was dazzling and soft as if embracing the morning sun. Even though it was only an extremely impulsive act, Asaya felt the illusion of being loved. Does being loved feel like this? It was ironic that she felt the warmth and love from this uncomfortable relationship. The warmth which she had never felt by the man (Reibene) who she once believed they were in love.
However, the lips that had been in contact for a long time, fell. Edwin frowned as he looked at Asaya as hard as a wooden statue.
“That’s why being impulsive is dangerous. Well, it doesn’t matter. You are sure to be more alert now.”
It was the same as last time. It was Edwin who kissed her first, but he was surprisingly calm. In a way, he was shameless. Still, Asaya didn’t have the courage to openly ask him what this kiss meant. No, in fact, it was likely to be a meaningless act. If she asked, probably only a ferocious answer would come back. She might be treated as a fool if she asked for the meaning of an impulsive kiss. Perhaps there was no meaning. Maybe his kiss was just an indirect demonstration that there could be physical touching in the future.