Hari’s POV
Occasionally, I accompanied Eugene in some important positions that required attendance.
As I held Eugene’s hand and waited every time we stepped inside, my eyes focused.
Of course it look natural, as no one looked at him and me with strange eyes.
Since his side was empty since his annulment with Rosabella, they seemed to think that I, his younger sister, was temporarily filling the spot for a while.
Today, I walked inside the banquet hall alongside Eugene, feeling the pouring eyes.
“Brother Johan, Louise.”
Then the faces of people I knew suddenly came into view. They seemed to have found us as well, and they came up close.
“I’m glad to see you.”
“Yes, it’s been a long time.”
Johannes greeted Eugene first. While they were saying hello, I also had a nice talk with Louise.
“Sister Hari, I missed you.”
“Me too. Are you and brother Johan both together today?”
After that, Louise laughed innocently, and at one point I paused.
“Yes. Today we are both brothers and sisters. No fun.”
But I soon concealed that feeling and laughed after her.
“Today’s banquet seems calmer than at any other time.”
“Right? Well, it’s better than being distracted.”
After talking like that for a while, we split up with Vastia’s brother and sister. This is because there were many people to greet each other in the banquet hall.
“Shall we go out to the terrace?”
However, it wasn’t long after we split up with them that Eugene recommended me to rest.
As soon as he leads me from the inside, I headed for the terrace.
Eugene, who sat down and looked at me for a moment, soon reached out to me.
“If you were going to have such a face, you would have better not to attend with me.”
I jumped at the calm voice flowing in my ear and replied.
“How’s my face?”
“It’s like a child hiding something wrong.”
However, after hearing his answer, I regretted because I asked him first. I thought I try hard to hide my heart.
However, Eugene seemed to have penetrated me.
I knew before that he didn’t want to hide our relationship as it is now.
And I also knew that Eugene did not do what he meant right now because he cared for me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable that other people see us as siblings on that subject. It was also contradictory to me.
“Are you scared? Of the eyes of others.”
From the facing black eyes towards me, his emotions have been handed down.
While watching him, suddenly the hesitation that had existed in me until now became dust and scattered.
I’m still a fool. With only a lot of useless thoughts.
Honestly, I wasn’t afraid of others’ eyes that didn’t matter to me, but it’s still hesitating to talk to people who have a relationship with me about us.
In particular, I was worried about the reaction of Cabel and Erich.
“No.”
But that doesn’t mean I wanted to make make Eugene anxious.
“I’m not scared.”
Also, I believed in Eugene more than anyone else.
“It’s okay because I have my brother.”
I grabbed his hand over my cheek and buried it deeper there. Then I rubbed my cheek gently in Eugene’s hand.
Will everyone in love be brave without grounds? I thought I could go through anything with him.
“In….. Ernst Ball…..”
At that time, a small noise leaked from the terrace door.
I couldn’t see the outside as they aren’t lowering the curtain from the inside, but as I listened to it, there seemed to be a person who came to Eugene.
Not surprisingly, Ethan, standing outside the door, knocked on the terrace door.
“You must go.”
“I don’t want to go.”
Eugene said firmly.
He seemed to be hindered by the time he was with me, but another visit with a knock sound again. Ali’s voice, his aide, has been heard.
“It’s okay, so go quickly.”
I laughed small and urged Eugene. He endured a little longer, and then the third time he heard them calling him, he stand up as if he couldn’t help it.
“I’ll be here soon.”
Eugene take out his coat and put it on my shoulder, then he went out on the terrace.
How long has it been since then?
“My Lady. Young sir from Vastia is asking for you. Should I let him inside?”
Ethan’s voice coming from outside allowed me to open the door.
Soon after, Johannes walked into the open doorway. He looked at me alone on the terrace and smiled.
“Hey. Seeing Sir Bishop outside, I thought you’d be here.”
“Louise?”
“She’s with a friend.”
Johannes settled where Eugene sat a while ago. Meanwhile, his blue eyes stayed in Eugene’s clothes for a moment.
“Where’s brother Eugene and why you’re alone?”
“Because he had someone to meet for a while, so I emptied myself.”
Then, it seemed to be a quite a long time since I was with Johannes.
In the meantime, I haven’t been good at going out, and Johannes was learning to work for Count Vastia, and we couldn’t find time to meet each other.
“The news of brother Eugene’s breakup, and the news of her engagement with his highness Dice, It’s really so sudden..”
So this is the first time I had this conversation with Johannes. As I was surprised at first, he also seemed surprised at the unexpected news.
“Miss Velontia said she’s been refraining from going out lately?”
“I’ve met her outside the other day by chance, and since then I haven’t seemed to go out very well.”
“Oh, have you met her?”
“Yeah, I promised to meet her next time at Velontia’s mansion.”
Johannes has had a good relationship with Rosabella. It seemed unchanged as before, and it seemed to me that I was somewhat relieved.
Honestly, he didn’t have a reason for that, but it seemed that he was caring for me in many ways because he has a very sweet personality, Johannes.
“It was definitely a surprise. Brother Eugene seemed to be the one who wouldn’t do anything like a breakup in any case.”
When I heard Johannes, I glanced down slightly.
Not long ago, I thought like Johannes. And until then, I never imagined Eugene and I would be in a relationship.
“Hari, I didn’t want to say this way….”
At that time, a calm voice dug into my ear again. Then, as he continued, I raised my head and stared at Johaness.
“I want to bring you to Vastia.”
Johannes was looking at me with his straight eyes. The moment I faced his unshakable eyes, my speech was blocked.
“I’m sorry to say this so suddenly, but I’m serious.”
It was too abrupt as he said, but even if Johannes didn’t say that, by looking at his serious face, it was not difficult to know that what he had said was true.
“I’ve always thinking like that.”
It wasn’t so hard to know what he meant by taking me to Vastia.
Besides, if I was the same as before, perhaps I would not reject Johaness’s request.
Last year, I still thought I was going to marry him, and I thought he was a good person for me.
“And I know you’re going to refuse now.”
Okay. Abominably, with others in my heart….
“But right now, I….”
I couldn’t hear Johannes anymore.
“I’m sorry, brother Johan.”
I shouldn’t have deceived his mind with some kind of avoidance. Doing things like lying to him also..
It was thought unscathed. For Johannes, not anyone else, it seemed that I shouldn’t be.
I opened my lips that did not fall towards the person in front of me.
“I can’t. Because I…”
“I’m sorry, but I won’t ever send Hari to Vastia.”
At that moment, the voice of someone who flew from the side as if it wasn’t going to let it be, intercept me.
I look to the person who came by and I got up from my seat. When I raised my head, his black eyes, which radiated a cool light, came into my view.
“She will be Ernst until the moment she dies.”
Suddenly, Eugene, who opened the door and stepped inside, stared at Johannes, who had a surprised face.
And shortly after that we went off from the terrace together.
The atmosphere in the carriage back home was somewhat stiff.
I asked Eugene, who had a hard face from the beginning.
“Are you mad?”
“No.”
The right answer came back immediately, but his expression was still not bright, so my heart wasn’t comfortable either.
I silently looked at Eugene’s face, and soon he sighed and opened his mouth.
“I just don’t like it.”
Doesn’t that mean you’re upset? Maybe he feel upset when he see Johannes and I in such subtle situation.
Besides, maybe it was because I was hiding my relationship with Eugene.
It wasn’t until Eugene got into my conversation with Johannes that I had just behaved as before.
“I’m sorry. I was going to be honest and tell brother Johan and refuse.”
Eugene stopped listening for a moment.
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m not mad at you for that. I just…”
However, Eugene did not continue to speak there, and silenced for a moment.
Then, as soon as he frowned, he whispered like a self-talk while avoiding my gaze as if he was resigning.
“….. I was going to propose to you before he did.”
What?
The words that passed by my ears were so unexpected that I opened my eyes wide. At one point I didn’t understand what he was just saying.
So, before Eugene, Johannes told me a bit of a proposal, and he doesn’t like it….
“If you’re angry, I deserve that. I am the one told Johannes and do it my way.”
Eugene had a slightly self-help face as if his previous work was his own fault.
However, there was still a feeling that something was fine, so I opened my mouth without my knowledge.
“Are you jealous?”
I inadvertently pop out the word in my mouth and I was ashamed to ask.
Jealousy, it’s a word that doesn’t match Eugene at all, but I just can’t express what Eugene just said otherwise?
And the next moment I checked Eugene’s face, I was amazed.
It was because Eugene’s lack of embarrassment was showing in his eyes, as if he was the first to realize what I had said.
I almost laughed unknowingly and then vomiting louder and louder, I couldn’t stop my laugh and pressed it into my throat.
Oh, what should I do, why is he so cute?
It is the Eugene who always showed only an adult figure, and when he showed such an unusual appearance in front of me once, I felt a happy feeling as my heart was beating fast.
“You are doing jealousy too? I didn’t know.”
Good god, I’ve thought about it before, but I also had a bit of a nasty corner.
Like childish male patheticly tormenting his favorite girl, I just wanted to pick on Eugene.
I didn’t even know how I would like to see Eugene’s figure expressing more various emotions.
I wanted to see such an angry, embarrassed, purely happy or proud version of him like other ordinary people.
“But what are you trying to do with that? Are you still in that corner? Feeling jealous?”
He knew I am making fun of himself, and Eugene’s eyes narrowed. I put my hand on Eugene’s head and patted him.
“Yeah, you’re doing a little jealousy while you are living. It’s okay, you don’t have to be ashamed of that. You’re cute even if you’re jealous, brother Eugene… Uhh what?”
Oh, but my hand that stroked Eugene’s head was forcibly released the next moment.
At the same time as my back was buried in the wagon’s fluffy back, a dark shadow was cast in front of my eye.
“It’s not bad to get it from you.”
Suddenly, Eugene, who raised his body,
said, holding me in between his arms.
“It’s my taste get it more than that.”
Suddenly, the air surrounding him and me changed.
Just before, Eugene, who was jealous of Johannes gave his a cute atmosphere, but now he was not there.
I felt as if there was a dangerous energy in his dark eyes looking down at me. I stuttered in this sudden situation.
“Me, hey, brother……?”
“Anyway, in this enclosed space looks like you want to know what would happen if you taunt a man like that.”
The hand that was taken next to my face grabbed my hair, which was down over the shoulder this time.
Eugene looked at me as my eyes wide open and I sipped my mouth when my silver hair curled between his fingers.
“Do you want me to teach you? From one to ten.”
At the moment when the low-pitched voice broke through my eardrum, a danger alarm rang in my head.
“Oh, no. You can’t…..”
I felt an instinctive crisis and opened my mouth, but Eugene did not seem to have thought about hearing my answer.
Because he hit my head with his head and hit his lips as it was. A hot tongue pushed through my open lips.
Uh, but something was strange.
It’s not the first time I’ve kissed him this way, but for some reason, it feels a bit different from the other times.…
As soon as I doubted, Eugene raised my head and he’s been kissing me back a bit more densely than before.
“Um?!”
I was startled and cried, but Eugene didn’t move.
I felt a strong sense of crisis once again, and this time I tried to root Eugene with all my might.
When he held my head to the side and I knocked on his back, my lips that had been barely touched came off.
Only then did I breathe out my breath.
No, did you intend to kill someone?! Where do you learn it like this?
Then, as I looked up at the person I faced resentfully, the next moment I was breathless with hooks to breathe.
Eugene’s side face was colored in gold with the light seeping outside the window.
The inside of the wagon was basically dim, but the light leaked from the outside made it not difficult for us to face each other.
So, the reddish tint on his lips and mouth came in clearly. And it must have been there because his lips buried in my lips.
I haven’t noticed so far that the red color smearing on a man’s lips can look so sensational and my body trembled.
And, thinking of such thoughts, I was surprised at myself again and called it off. My face became hotter than before.
“Ah…”
A repressed moan leaked from my mouth.
“You have a very pretty look.”
Eugene had a satisfactory breath when he saw my sweet face. He grabbed his hand on my face and pushed me down.
“Hey, stop now. This is enough.”
But Eugene, on the contrary, grabbed my hand and laughed like someone who heard an absurd sound.
“This is enough? What are you talking about?”
And again, his body hitting mine forced me to look at him.
“This is just starting now.”
“This is just starting now.”
“Well, what are you going to do…… Hik.”
Again, I was surprised and opened my mouth, but Eugene turned my head to the side, then straight down his lips in my exposed neck in his sight.
I screamed strangely.
“Oh… brother, wait… Ugh.”
It seemed that my whole body was fluffy.
I tried to stop Eugene by turning my head, but my head was already firmly fixed in his hand and could not move.
Like that night, he moved his mouth with his head around my neck as if trying to engrave his traces that will never be erased from me forever.
However, this time, he did the same thing several times, moving his mouth, not only once.
Then I suddenly felt that Eugene’s hand was holding my wrist. I panicked and blinked my eyes and squeaked my lips.
As I hurriedly lowered my hand and grabbed Eugene’s hand, he laughed in my ear.
“Can you afford to care about that?”
“Oh, wait…!”
I suddenly lost my mind because of Eugene pulling my upper body.
This time, my waist pulled forward, and soon my body was completely laid on a chair with a soft cushion.
And Eugene overlapped my body.
I was stuck dumb.
“What is this…”
Even though I was struggling, Eugene turned my head and kissed me once again. My lips snapped without any gaps.
I finally realized that Eugene was still watching me with that eyes like that night before.
His lips in my earlobe as he then sweeping my throat and neck, he quickly wiped my shoulders.
My mind gradually faded as my breath gradually increased. I still had no mind, and in the midst of that, only the stimulus that Eugene gave me was sharp.
Inside the narrow wagon, there was a strong heat. After a while, wet lips fell away from me, who was breathtaking.
In the situation just before my breath passed, I barely spoke.
“Okay, I did it wrong…”
I was stupid when I teased Eugene without fear. It seemed to me now I know how stupid it was.
Eugene raised his head to the words of me and his anwer ringing above my head.
“I’m not punishing you.”
“Lie.….”
“It’s not a lie. You’re pretty.”
I was thrilled by Eugene’s natural words.
No, what! He said I am pretty twice, but hey I’m going to catch a breathe! But…
Yeah, I don’t care what we’re talking just now is like, so let’s stop this now, uh.
“You’re struggling so much with this.”
Are you serious? What is it?! And at Eugene’s whisper, I became a mitten again with honey.
“What are you going to do later?”
Later… Later he said….
Of course, I wasn’t very young, so I knew what he meant.
And this is the outpost of something I also knew that it was one important thing, but I just heard that from Eugene’s mouth….
Whoa, whoa! I covered my face as it become a bright red face that seemed to explode even now.
“So why do you come to me without fear?”
Suddenly, unlike before, a hand that does not feel dangerous touched me, and I spread between my fingers and put him in my sight.
“You tend to overestimate me.”
The touch was sweet and tender as he clean up my disheveled clothes.
However, his face with black eyes is still have a fever although with no expression, and I have become deaf.
“I don’t know how much I’m in front of you.”
However, there seems to be no intention to do anything more than this, Eugene gently pulls my body and sits me up.
After that, he touched my unclenched hair with his own hands and arranged it.
There was no trace of an indecent gentleman, but Eugene was not one.
I no longer feel like I’m going to flirt with Eugene like I did before. Like a herbivore in front of me, he quickly touched my hand.
Then suddenly his hand was stopped.
“That said, Dice has asked you before.”
“I don’t think it’s a marriage proposal…!”
As Eugene narrowed his eyes narrowly and seemed to have suddenly thought about it, I was shocked and strongly denied it.
No, how does Eugene know more than that?! He’s not completely talkative, except for the parties.
I don’t know, it’s not normal.
Is it Dice after all? Ugh, that mouth sounds like a light person.
But I was afraid that Eugene would change again, I desperately denied it, and he just lifted his hand as if he was going to pass it over.
After that, the road to Ernst’s mansion felt farther than any other time.
And as soon as I arrived at the destination, I put all the escorts aside and ran out of the carriage like a bullet.
Behind my blatantly running away, I heard a slight laugh, but I still didn’t want to reveal my red face to him, so I still running.
That day I learned from Eugene that the inside of a closed wagon was very, very dangerous.
It was a very important lesson to remember again.
The next afternoon I went out with Ethan.
I walk as if I’m representing my hesitant heart. This did not feel well, and it was also a long-term relations, and this wasn’t something I could ignore.
“Hari, welcome on. Did you come to see Louise? I heard you two met at the banquet yesterday.”
The place I visited is Vastia’s mansion.
As soon as she saw me, Mrs. Vastia welcomed me. I also greeted her with a smile.
“Hello, aunt. It’s a good afternoon.Today isn’t Louise….”
But soon I could blur my voice as I see the man who came out from behind her.
It was Johannes whom I met on the terrace of the banquet hall last evening.
“Brother Johan.”
A whisper came out from my mouth.
“Come in, Hari.”
I saw the blue eyes I faced and realized that he too was waiting for me.
“Let’s go inside.”
*****
Johannes and I came into the room and sat across the table.
Mrs. Vastia felt that the atmosphere flowing between us was different than usual, and she quietly escaped.
“Yesterday….”
Meeting him always made my mind comfortable, but not today.
I opened my mouth, alertly conscious of the silence around me.
“I’m sorry to go like that.”
First, apologizes was the first.
I was going to talk about yesterday’s work to Eugene and said that I was going to meet Johannes, but anyway, it was a problem I had to look at and face myself once.
Then, as Johannes stared at my face, and spit out his word, I trembled my hand on my knee.
“I met brother Eugene this morning.”
This morning, before going to Imperial palace, did Eugene went to Vastia’s mansion first?
I don’t know what the two of them had talked about, but Johannes had a very bad face.
Yesterday evening, his eyes widened at the end of Eugene’s words, and I saw he seen as a person who expressed his surprise that he could not hide.
“I must have thought I was uncomfortable.”
Soon Johannes said with a bitter smile.
“I thought .. Naturally I thought you would be have the same feeling as me over time.”
I listened to him and shut my mouth. Because I couldn’t completely deny the possibility in Johannes’ words.
“Now I knew you thought of me as just a good brother, but I was confident that I was waiting. Besides, I was sure that I would be next to you soon, so I just wait for time to pass. I believed it.”
…. Maybe Johannes was right.
If, as he said, the time had passed as it had been the same as before, I might have had the future with him.
Like I did in my last life.
But now I settled in a very comfortable reality, because I know it’s the best of the options in front of me.
“Now I thought I was stupid.”
And because Johannes is a good person to me too much…
I definitely thought I would have admired and liked him more than now while I was with him.
“It doesn’t make any sense to ask when it was like that.”
A neat, calm voice rang in my ears as usual. He said slowly as my lips tightly closed.
“I don’t know. When did it start and how did it happen?”
As Johannes said, it was meaningless to come and bring it up now.
“Maybe it was as you said.”
Already, I had a heart in which the stone could not be cut, and it was endless, selfish, and greedy.
“Although it’s not the same mind, I also like brother Johnan. I think it might have been natural for you to be like my real brother as we had passed time together.”
I didn’t want to hurt Johannes, but I couldn’t give him what he wanted.
I wanted to give him the same good vibe, just like he gave me good vibe since then, but I couldn’t.
“But if It did become like that, I would always be sorry for you.”
I’m sorry that I’m not having the same feeling as myself back then.
Oh, if I do it with him, I would live with a sinful heart for him all his life.
“Maybe I may make you unhappy.”
I had no confidence to make Johannes happy.
“Brother Johan is always be a thankful existence for me. So I want you to be happy.”
I thought that someone else better than this selfish self and suited him. Maybe even this thought was just hypocrisy from my selfishness.
Johannes quietly listened to me. And after a while, he opened his mouth and whispered.
“Thank you… In the end, my role is only that far.”
Finally, with a gloomy smile on his face, he said, as my heart aches.
“It’s a bit bitter, but yeah… it’s comforting to be your brother rather than being a meaningless person.”
And Johannes is a very good person to me until this moment..
“I want you to be happy too, Hari. I’m serious.”
It’s over. I couldn’t even dare to say sorry to him.
****
“Hari.”
That evening, Eugene returned to Ernst’s mansion and came to my room. I sat by the window, quietly staring at the sunset, and then slowly turned to him.
Likewise, Eugene, standing at the door and staring at my face, quickly moved the steps he had stopped.
“Come here.”
A close voice came near me.
I didn’t know if he was holding me first, or if I was holding him first, but in fact it didn’t matter.
Eugene’s tight arms covered my back. I bury my face and breathe in.
The sound of a heart rang, not knowing who it was in our tightly abutted body.
He said he would not let me go, and he said not to let him go.
So we are together now.
“It’s okay.”
There was a small whisper in my ear.
Even though I’m not the one to be comforted, Eugene said to me as if he was comforting to me.
“It’s okay.”
So I returned the same words to him.
As I dug deeper into his chest, warmth covered my body.
In that safe embrace, I closed my eyes.