Translator: Lay
Raw Provider: Ani
He woke up one day. He couldn’t tell how much time had passed. The solitary room was so quiet. Tristan could not stand the silence. Tristan, who rose from his seat, knocked on the tightly closed door.
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
Bang bang bang bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang!
He wanted to be told to stay still because it was noisy. He missed the voice of man.
***
It seemed quite a long time ago, but the princess never showed her face.
Did you really forget me?
Shouldn’t I be stuck here alone forever?
No? It can’t be.
Tristan clenched his teeth.
“Hey! Is there anybody there! Call her Highness!”
There was still no answer coming back.
Is there anyone out there?
It could be.
The guard can’t stay here all day.
The one thing that’s fortunate is that meals are regularly served these days.
He sat motionless at the door waiting for the meal to come in. Finally, the casket came in through a small hole under the door. Tristan immediately fell to the floor. He thrust his arm under the door and seized the guard’s arm tightly.
“Wow! You bastard! Won’t you let me go?”
It was the voice of a person who he missed so much. At that moment, he almost cried. He should have used this method a long time ago. Tristan said in a hoarse voice.
“Go and tell Her Highness the Princess. I’ve thought it through.”
“Why is this crazy bastard giving orders?”
Tristan laid down the guard’s arm. The guard went away with all kinds of abuse¹.
There we go. Wait a little longer and the princess will be here.
Tristan swelled with hope and was lost in thought.
What should I say to her?
One day Tristan thought he’d kill her as soon as he met her.
But the princess did not come.
One day Tristan thought he should cut his knees in front of the princess and beg for mercy.
But the princess did not come.
One day Tristan thought he had to die by hurling curses at the princess.
But the princess did not come.
One day Tristan thought he should kiss the feet of the princess and swear allegiance.
But the princess did not come.
Tristan fell into fear that the princess might have forgotten him forever.
He kicked the door, screamed, and walked back and forth in the room, then fell asleep several times and got up.
Still, the princess did not come.
Tristan finally gave up.
He lay in bed and looked at the ceiling like nothing else.
One day he opened his eyes and found himself in a barracks on the western front. The jugular lamp on the ceiling shook for a long time. Tristan stood up and sat down at his desk.
Oh, all those moments were terrible nightmares, I should write my regards to my parents.
I lifted up the pen thinking.
At that moment Tristan awoke from his dream.
It was still a dim solitary cell.
Tristan closed his eyes to fall asleep again. Tristan, who had once again had a sweet dream of the good old days, woke up at one point, realized that it was reality and fell asleep again. He wasn’t sleepy anymore, but he went to sleep in inertia and woke up repeatedly.
The boundary between reality and dream gradually became blurred.
One day, the princess opened that door and came in. As soon as Tristan jumped up in joy, he awoke from his dream.
Sitting on the bed with his heavy eyelids open, Tristan stared at the door endlessly. The door rattled open and two guards dragged the Tristan out and threw him out of the door.
At that moment Tristan awoke from his dream.
Lying in bed with his heavy eyelids open, he looked at the door again with blank eyes. Suddenly the door opened and two guards came in.
“Get up.”
This is a terrible dream.² It’s never over. Tristan lay in bed and stared blankly at the guard.
“Is he really out of his mind? Why can’t you understand?”
The guard smacked Tristan’s head with abusive language.
It hurts.
It’s not a dream.
The guard dragged Tristan out and pushed him into a room.
There was the princess with a knight behind her. Indeed, this time it was not a dream.
‘The princess didn’t forget me.’
Tristan, who had even felt strange joy, hesitated. He couldn’t remember what he was going to say when he met the princess. Erin’s words as soon as she saw Tristan while sipping tea were rather embarrassing.
“Did you put sugar in your tea?”
“Yes?”
“Didn’t you put it in?”
Did you put it in? Tristan stammered through a past that seemed so long ago. Tristan Rowenthal did not put sugar in his tea. He didn’t even enjoy tea.
“No, I’m not putting it in.”
“Really? That’s great.” The princess held out her teacup to him sitting opposite.
There was a good smell from the fluttering red liquid in the white teacup.
“You don’t look well. Well, we haven’t had enough food. I didn’t know what you’d like, so I prepared something I like. You can drink it.” Unable to find an answer, Tristan wriggled his fingers.
Erin put her hand on his finger. It was a strange silverware. Tristan was startled.
“You can drink it.”
He obediently followed. The tea running behind his neck was warm and soft. The cold air that had been dug up to the point of stealing seemed to be fading away. Suddenly a despicable sense of relief shot up.
How long has it been since he felt this warmth and how long has it been since he had exchanged this conversation?
It was such a sweet time except that the other party was the princess. Then the princess spoke.
“What do you think?”
He did think so much that he was tired of it.
I don’t do it now.
“Do you still hate serving me?”
The accident creaked.
Why did I not like serving Princess Erin?
Because Tristan thought she was one of the people who killed the loved ones.
But wasn’t it Tristan himself who killed his family?
While Tristan hesitated, the princess rose from her seat.
“You must have run out of time. See you next time.”
The knights caught Tristan. Tristan was in despair.
“I’m really weak, so I’m sick. Don’t worry. I won’t kill your men.”
But what Tristan was worried about was not the lives of his men.
‘Next? When’s the next time?’
Tristan stoned back to his solitary cell. There was no answer that came back even if he yelled and kicked the door.
Tristan sank into bed and buried his face in his hands.
‘It’s all right. For now, the princess didn’t forget me. I will have a lot of next, if I answer well next time….’
Tristan sat in bed staring at the door.
He waited for the door to open.
The door didn’t open.
Tristan sat in bed staring at the door.
The door still wouldn’t open.
He waited for the door to open.
The door remained tight shut and still unopened.
“Didn’t you tell me to see you next time…”
Tristan almost wailed and buried his face in his hands.
A sickening wait.
One day, Tristan thought that he would have to kneel and beg the princess whenever the next came.
But the princess did not come.
One day, he looked at the broken piece of mirror like crazy. He thought he had to kill the princess who had put him in this place and kill himself.
But the princess did not come.
And one day he wanted to see her for no reason, and the next day he didn’t even want to see her face because he was so hateful.
But the princess did not come.
Tristan sat in bed staring at the door and thought.
Now that it’s all right, I missed the princess.
(Am I finally going crazy?)
I really missed the princess.
But the princess did not come.
I missed the princess madly.
But the princess did not come.
Tristan missed her so much.
Finally the door opened and the guard came in.
The princess whom he met again was still beautiful. Some relief and joy warmed his heart when he saw the princess’ smile.
“Do you still hate serving me?”
“No, I don’t hate it.”
“Really?”
When the smile disappeared around the princess’ mouth, how heart sank. The light of the world seemed to fade away.
“But I don’t like the answer very much. I’ll come back next time.”
Erin gave him a little compliment and left, but he didn’t seem to like it.
Tristan, trapped in a road solitary cell, knocked on the door. He was frustrated that his forehead was on the floor.
What the hell did I do wrong?
What else was the problem this time?
What can I do to make the princess happy?
How can I see the beautiful smile of the princess again?
Tristan no longer thought of his family.
He began to think only about the princess.3
I thought about the red dress and the silky golden hair that the princess always wears.
I thought about the sweet, slender voice and the sense of soft hand.
I thought about what the princess would be happy about and what she would hate.
I thought about how I could hear the princess’s bell-like laughter again…
Tristan humbly admitted that he was going mad.1
And did not resist.
He just thought of the princess.
It was much more comfortable to think of the princess than to try to solve the problem of depression, pain, self-hatement and dilemma.3
Tristan has been in pain for too long. Now he wanted to settle down in peace.
After a frantic time, the next came back.
Faced with the princess, Tristan stood in front of Erin instead of sitting in the opposite chair. Erin, who raised her hand against the wary knights, ordered them in a delighted voice.
“Tristan, you must have something to say.”
“That Tristan belongs to the Imperial Highness.”
“Hmm.”
Is it that you don’t like?
But now I don’t want to go next.
He didn’t want to go back there again. He didn’t want to go back to a world of breathtaking depression and sadness.
I wanted to stay in a world where a beautiful princess exists.
Tristan knelt down in front of the princess.
“My blood, flesh, bones, and soul are all in the possession of the Princess. It will be my pleasure and honor to serve you with all my heart.”
The princess smiled as clear as a bell. Again in Tristan’s mind came relief and joy.
“Lift your head.”
The most beautiful woman in the world was smiling at Tristan. A red dress with delicate lace and a ruby necklace resembling drops of blood. His white face and red lips were particularly vivid.
Oh. Now you can live for her.
You can please her, make her laugh, and do what she commands.
The princess became his new law. The world of Tristan was once again lucid and simple, and thus beautiful.6
Tristan’s new law extended its hand to Tristan.
A slender soft hand was placed on Tristan’s coarse hands.
Tristan dared to kiss the hand.
Now it was only full of joy that existed inside Tristan.
×××
[1] The guard went away with all kinds of abuse: it means the guard went away throwing all kinds of curses to Tristan.
[2] This is a terrible dream.: Well, if you are confined alone, you’ll be delusional, that’s why his first delusion is when the Princess (Erin) opened the door and he jumped in joy but then, he became conscious, his second delusion was when the guards dragged him and threw him, that’s why when he really woke up from his delusions, he thought it’s another delusion.
T/N: I gotta be honest… Erin is really scary! I read one from the comments that Erin is also twisted in her own way but it’s not that obvious (I didn’t exactly remembered the word) and for me, that’s kinda true. I’m more scared of Erin than Aurest at this rate.
And shit! I just realized what’s going on with this story!!! STOCKHOLM SYNDROME!! For (sorry for the curses) fuck’s sake! I was more excited than ever!!! LMAO…