Translator: Lay
Raw Provider: Ani
2. Knights
Tristan Rowenthal’s world was clear.
Win before you lose.
Don’t kill those who surrender.
Protect the weak and be considerate.
Always be honest.
Keep away from pleasure and indulgence.
Loyalty to the imperial family and the country.
Obey orders, but resist the wrong.
Always put honor first…
The simple laws that make up his world eventually gave Tristan the romantic title¹ of blue knight.
“For Lord Tristan, everything seems easy.”
Tristan replied bluntly to the deputy’s mischievous remarks.
“It wasn’t easy.”
His life was simple, but it was not easy to maintain simplicity.
Win before you lose.
The effort to cut bones was melted into the simple rule of being.
‘I obey orders, but I resist wrongful things.’
The law was a little more complex.
First of all, we needed a fierce reason for ‘what is wrong?’
And social status was also needed that would not be harmed when resisting the superior.
The last one was hard to get, but fortunately Tristan had the status of the youngest son of the Empire’s Ducal family.
The raw position made a brilliant contribution to maintaining a beautiful world because of his simplicity by providing Tristan with a shield of safety.
None of the army’s superiors could touch Tristan, the youngest child of the House of Rowenthal.
So far so…
“What’s your name?” The Princess asked.
The man, the youngest child of the House of Rowenthal, looked up at the princess.
“Tristan Rowenthal of Rowenthal Duchy.”
His curly golden curly hair and cold eyes, as if made of shaved ice, were staring at her. Tristan knew one person who had a similar appearance as the princess.
Crown Prince Aurest.
By oath to heaven, Tristan was always loyal to Crown Prince Aurest. In accordance with the law of “Loyalty to the Imperial Family.”
Of course, you should obey orders, but resist wrongful things. As a result, Aurest began to have an unpleasant curiosity about the shape of Tristan’s internal organs².
In that sense, the Rowental’s rebellion must have been a golden opportunity to satisfy the cruel curiosity that Aurest has suppressed.
Tristan could stand being dragged like a dog in front of everyone. Aurest had the right to insult the son of a man who was not loyal to the imperial family. A clear death will soon come to those who are not loyal to the imperial family. But what followed was a disgraceful life.
“Tristan. Do you hate serving me more than dying?”
”Yes.”
“There must be a reason for dislike. Can you tell me why?”
“…..”
“No matter what you say, I won’t be rough on you, so be honest. I don’t want you to be scratched.”
The princess’ hand rested on Tristan’s shoulder. Tristan’s body was hardened by the warmth of her soft fingers, which he had never held before.
“Honestly?”
“Yes, honestly.”
Tristan clenched his teeth.
His father, his mother, his older brother, his older sister, the nanny who raised him, the butler who greeted him, and all who were involved in the rebellion was all gone by the hands of her brother.
The rebellion was a felony.
The execution of those who committed the crime was natural. However, admitting that it was a natural fact that one could not calm the sorrow and anger of losing loved ones.
Tristan hated Laius, who took away the things he loved, hated Aurest and hated Aurest’s sister. And he hated himself for hating them.
Tristan replied in hatred.
“I don’t want to bow down to the man who took all my family members to live a life of little importance. Please kill me.”
Tristan, you moron. The Imperial Lady desires you, the child of the sinner. Be loyal to the imperial family.
‘Where did you get that law of?’
“It’s just like a tree to take away. Didn’t you feel like you had to be a gentleman and aim for revenge opportunities?”
Revenge? Some impulses were strongly rippled inside Tristan. He forced it down.
“What are your intentions?”
“I thought you’d do that, so I asked.”
“I grew up as a knight. I don’t do such mean and pathetic things.”
It was said that he was stripped of his knighthood, but even Tristan’s time as a knight did not disappear.
Tristan was still a knight, and the crown prince was still his lord.
As a knight, he dared not to deceive and betray the Lord.
He’d rather die than do that.
“Do you want some bad news? I have no intention of killing you. You don’t know if I kill someone else instead of you…”
To die…
“Okay. You’ll be confused, too. I’ll give you plenty of time to think. Think carefully and answer.”
Trustan was in solitary confinement. There were no windows in the small room, so it was always dimly dark.
Tristan lay in a narrow bed.
It was peaceful and serene.
For Tristan, who had lived in the noise of the battlefield all his life, it was the same as a vacation. All he had to do was exercise and think with his bare hands.
Tristan was lost in thought because he was not motivated to move. The longest he thought of was the death of his family.
‘Why did you commit a rebellion? Why did you keep it a secret to me?’
Why didn’t mother and father engage Tristan?
As he thought over and over again, it was: It was so resentful.
The rebellion is not a child’s chess game.
The Duke and Duchess of Rowenthal must have prepared thoroughly for the rebellion. Nevertheless, the failure was likely due to a failure to control very small changes.
Tristan assumed what it would have been like if he had joined the rebellion.
He was a long shot on the western front. The changes in the battle could be dealt with by term eloquence. It must have led the rebels to victory. With such futile thoughts, Tristan blamed his parents for a long time.
If he had informed himself to the conspiracy of treason…
‘If I had told you, you would have accused the Crown Prince of family.³’
Tristan felt the gush of blood all over his body.
Tristan was a knight who swore allegiance to the Crown Prince.
If he had heard the news of his family’s rebellion preparations, he would have been angry at how they could rebel against the imperial family.
We are the servants who are to be loyal to them, and if the emperor goes the wrong way, it is the duty of a servant to lead him the right way. He would have held back that it was only the disloyal ones who bring him down.
Tristan could easily imagine himself begging for honor. He could paint himself as he wished for the mercy of his family.
Maybe that’s why?
Wasn’t they worried that he would tell the crown prince and didn’t inform him?
A false laugh came out…
‘So the loss of Rowenthal is my fault?’
Because it was a leap of thought, Tristan erased the very idea from his mind. But the dregs of thought lingered in his head, not disappearing.
His mind was complicated.
He glanced for a moment.
He felt like he had a nightmare for a moment. The room was still dimly dark when he opened his eyes breathing in.
Tristan briefly mistook himself for being in the barracks on the western front. As he sat at his desk to control his mind by writing a letter to his family, he realized that he was locked up in a solitary cell.
It occurred to him that he had no family to receive even though he sent a letter. He sat dazed at his desk for a long time. Tears streamed across his dry cheeks and fell on the book table.
He choked up.
Tristan buried his face in his hands. The sobbing continued, and his hands became wet.
They’re really dead.
Forever and ever.
He was fine when he saw them die in person. It was bearable. That’s why he thought he was doing well, but he guess he wasn’t. His tongue wasn’t all right.
Tristan sobbed for a long time.
When he woke up after falling asleep again because he had nothing to do, he sat down at his desk and tried to write a letter, but he suddenly realized the death of my family and cried.
He gradually shed tears.
Instead, he spent more time sitting absent-mindedly. One day Tristan opened his eyes and realized that this was his own room. Instead of sadness, emptiness, loneliness and loneliness used to plow through Tristan’s heart, but now somehow seemed to be all right. Maybe.
Tristan at his desk thought coldly. Whatever the truth, at least Tristan thought they was frigid.
My parents couldn’t believe me. I didn’t give them faith.
That’s why my parents didn’t told me.
The rebellion might have succeeded if I had been with them.
But it failed.
My family died because of me.
Many people died. It’s all my fault.
It’s my fault.
Everything was Tristan’s fault.
There was no mother anymore who was worried about her youngest son, who was always on the battlefield.
There was no gentle father. There was no friendly older brother.
There was no older sister who often played nasty jokes.
He was no longer the youngest child of Rowental. He also lost his knighthood. The loyal knights and men who followed Tristan will be placed elsewhere.
All he cared for and loved was destroyed was Tristan’s fault.
The cruel coldness that permeated deep into his soul shook him.
Tristan lay down on the bed like he was falling. He didn’t want to think about anything anymore.
***
He was getting used to living alone. One day, the meal didn’t come in. He called the guard, but he didn’t answer. Hunger turned into pain and slowly disappeared before returning.
It was the life of a soldier who had to endure a few days’ shortage of food if he failed in battle. It was tolerable for a few days. However, he was just worried that it was not possible to see how time went because breakfast and dinner were divided into meals that were served twice a day before. After a few days, anger surged in. A sharp hunger poked his stomach.
“Hey! Are you going to starve a man to death?”
He kicked the door of the solitary cell, punched it with his fist, and called the guard, but there was no answer. Tristan leaned against the firm, cold iron gate.
Did the princess give up on me?
“That’s a good thing.”
Talking to oneself was one of the habits of solitary life.
Tristan stood up and stood in front of the mirror. A lumpy razor blade on the shelf in front of the mirror caught Tristan’s eye. Tristan picked up a blunt razor and pondered, and looked into the mirror.
A man who once was the youngest child of Rowental, a knight who swore allegiance to the Crown Prince, and a blue knight leading the Western Front, stood in the mirror.
Tristan briefly measured the angle and smashed the mirror with a razor.
The glass broke into pieces.
He picked up a big piece of glass. He took a deep breath.
Pain is short and rest is eternal.
With a few gestures, he can leave for a place where his father and mother, older brother and sister welcome him.
‘And what about your men? What happens to them who fought for their country? Will they let their teeth be cut off by the angry empress?’
“The princess forgot me.”
He tried to say it as if he was determined, but doubts rose.
‘That’s not it, Tristan, you stupid. Don’t you think she’s playing a power game, hoping you’ll give in?’
……
‘It’s obvious that if you die, the princess will be angry and your men will be killed.’
He couldn’t let that happen. Tristan buried his face in his hands.
He couldn’t even die with honor.
× × ×
[1] romantic title: it was written as 낭만적인 칭호를 (nang/man/jeog/in ching/ho/leul) whereas 낭만적인 means romantic and 힝호 means title 를 is always added at the end of a Korean word, and i still don’t know why…
[2] Aurest began to have an unpleasant curiosity about the shape of Tristan’s internal organs: yes, that’s really the translation.
[3] If I had told you, you would have accused the Crown Prince of family.: I didn’t get it at first but it was some kind of Tristan’s imaginary scenario whereas his family is still alive and when he asked them “Why didn’t you tell me about the rebellion?” his family’s answer (in his mind) would be that.
T/N: To be honest, it made me cry…