“These days, sweet and sour foods are delicious.”
Alicia giggled awkwardly.
“I’ll have to tell them to buy more fruit.”
“I’m still eating without shortage.”
“What do you like more than fruits?”
“Food-wise?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Cabellenus nodded lightly.
He was in a position where he didn’t have to memorise someone else’s tastes.
But he wanted to know Alicia’s taste. No, rather, he wished he knew everything about her.
“That’s…….”
Alicia took a short deep breath under his persistent gaze.
The sudden question embarrassed her.
“I think I like painting very much.”
‘If you like it, you just like it – you don’t have to ‘think’ you like it.’
Alicia slightly frowned at the ambiguous expression she spouted, but Cabellenus didn’t look particularly concerned by it.
“And?”
“I like to take walks. I like classes…….”
“And?”
“Um…….”
Alicia paused for a moment, counting her favourite things.
Come to think of it, she, herself, didn’t know much about the man either.
“What’s wrong? Do you not want to talk about it?”
“No.”
Alicia shook her head hastily.
“Then?”
“……What about you?”
Alicia looked at Cabellenus with a slightly nervous expression.
“Me?”
“What do you like?”
“I’ve never really thought about it. Are you curious about something like that?”
“Why did you ask me what I liked?”
The frightened woman now knew how to raise her head and ask questions back.
That fact pleased Cabellenus, so he smiled slightly.
“I want to know about you.”
“So do I.”
“…….”
Naturally, that smile didn’t last long.
Cabellenus barely restrained himself from reaching a hand out to her.
The woman knew how to provoke the man in the past and even now.
In that case, he had no choice but to provoke her in the same manner.
There was a glimpse of mischief in his golden eyes.
“I think it’s you.”
“……M-me?”
“I’ve never thought about what I like, but the only thing I care about the most recently is you.”
“…….”
“If I had to express what I like in words, then it would be you.”
“…….”
If Gerpenus had seen this, he might have been the first to hurl insults at him.
It was a ridiculous sight to see him choose his words carefully while looking at a woman who was much smaller than him.
However, Cabellenus liked Alicia’s expression of bewilderment, enough for him to endure such a situation.
Every remark he made was like throwing a stone into a lake. Her expression would ripple, and her feelings would be clearly displayed.
“What about you?”
“Y-yes?”
“Am I included in your likes?”
“I…….”
Alicia’s face was distorted.
She had to suppress it, but whenever she looked into the man’s eyes, she couldn’t bear to lie.
He liked honesty.
She didn’t want to do what he hated.
“You don’t like me?”
“No! Th-that…….”
“Then, which one am I?”
No, it was actually an excuse.
To be more honest, she wanted to say it.
When she confessed that she liked him, she wondered what kind of expression that arrogant man would make.
“……I like you.”
Alicia’s face was burning so red that it could not get any hotter.
The focus of her eyes shook restlessly and nervously, and her tense body was stiff.
Nevertheless, Alicia did not lower her head until the end.
Instead, she followed Cabellenus’s reaction and tried to remember everything about him.
The man who was slightly frowning seemed embarrassed and avoided eye contact.
It was barely noticeable, but at a closer glance, his earlobes were clearly stained red.
A low, hot breath awkwardly leaked out from his tightly clenched teeth.
And, the corners of the mouth rose up – all the way.
Alicia’s hand wriggled reflexively.
She wanted to paint.
She wished she could remember this moment forever, just like that.
“I like you.”
“…….”
“I really like you.”
The emotions that she had tightly suppressed and the words that were so difficult to spit out could no longer be contained.
However, she couldn’t bear not conveying it.
Once spoken, it was like a flare, and it created a gap in the wall of patience that she had built so far.
“I still feel like I am dreaming. So, I am afraid and anxious that I will wake up from this dream at any moment. Even so, I will not change my desire to be more greedy.”
Because it was no one else, but him.
The woman laughed as she said that.
The man who heard this twisted his face.
It was strange.
Obviously, it was his own feelings, but Cabellenus couldn’t define what it was.
Although Alicia expressed it as “like,” the man’s sharp instinct realised it was not the end.
The woman who smiled shyly despite her deathly pale face was undeniably a good thing for the man, but that alone was not enough.
He needed words that could express his emotions more deeply and clearly.
But the man’s mind could not think of the word.
There was only one woman, and every time he saw her, countless thoughts and feelings rushed into his heart, making him unable to figure out the words to express them.
In the end, all Cabellenus could do was hold Alicia tightly in his arms and constantly brood over the warmth.
* * *
“How are you? Are you all right?”
“Yes. I’m fine.”
Unlike Alicia, who nodded her head gently, Mrs Morco’s expression was dark.
The number of foods that Alicia could not eat was increasing day by day.
Now all she ate was fruit, but she couldn’t eat every type of fruit.
Initially, no matter what kind of fruit it was, she couldn’t swallow it down her throat unless it was excessively sour.
“Would you like to try this?”
“What is it?”
“It’s squeezed lemon juice mixed with carbonated water. I think my lady will like it. Go ahead and try it. Of course, if you don’t like it, you can leave it.”
Mrs Morco handed the glass to Alicia in a soft voice while reassuring her.
Even though Alicia was obviously reluctant to consume anything, she couldn’t refuse Mrs Morco’s sincerity and drank it without protest.
“……uh?”
Alicia’s eyes were round.
“Is it all right?”
“Yes. It’s delicious.”
While holding the glass tightly in both hands, Alicia smiled. Mrs Morco smiled along with her.
But Mrs Morco’s stomach churned.
[T/N: If someone’s stomach churns/lurches/tightens, it means they are suddenly feeling a strong feeling of fear, shock or excitement.]
No matter how much she observed Alicia, her judgment was not wrong.
Alicia’s symptoms were obviously those of a pregnant woman.
Lemon water, alone, had no sugar added, so it didn’t taste good, but pregnant women enjoyed drinking it.
However, none of the doctors who had visited could confirm if Alicia was pregnant.
As if everyone had coordinated it, they only stated they could not find any signs of pregnancy and that the symptoms were suspicious.
‘What is the problem?’
Mrs Morco’s eyes narrowed.
Alicia was growing weaker day by day because she couldn’t eat.
If the inability to eat continued, she might eventually collapse.
“Do you have any foods you want to eat?”
“What I want to eat?”
“You have to eat something. Otherwise, I’m afraid my lady will collapse.”
Even today, the doctor gave her a nutrient injection, but they couldn’t have that done every time.
As the number of days where Alicia couldn’t eat increased, the more uncomfortable Cabellenus’s mood got, and the busier the people in the castle became as they had to watch out for his temper.
At this rate, if Alicia collapsed, there would be some form of trouble.
“Can’t you just tell His Grace that I had a good meal?”
“I’m sure the news has already been delivered.”
Mrs Morco breathed out a short sigh.
Despite his busy schedule welcoming guests, Cabellenus was very concerned about Alicia’s diet.
He not only checked what Alicia had eaten for the day but also sent food she ate well to the extent that it felt like nothing had been eaten anything at all.
Either this afternoon or tomorrow, the castle would be full of lemons and carbonated water.
“……I’m sorry. It seems like everyone’s having a hard time because of me.”
“It’s not like my lady intentionally doesn’t want to eat it.”
“But, I’m sorry for bothering you so much.”
“It’s all right. At times like this, you should take it easy and relax.”
If she wasn’t pregnant, it was most likely psychological.
Mrs Morco wrapped her hands around Alicia’s hands and affectionately consoled her.
She felt sorry because the hand she held was thinner than before.
“If you have anything you want to eat, it would be better if you could tell me.”
Alicia was originally not picky about her taste and was a good eater, but now there was a variable.
It was more difficult to match her tastes in the current situation since there was nothing that she clearly liked.
“The truth is…….” Alicia, who had been hesitant for a long time, carefully voiced.
Mrs Morco quickly asked in order not to miss the opportunity, “Is there anything you want to eat?”
“There is, but you won’t be able to get it.”
“If it’s something my lady wants to eat, just tell me, and I’ll try to get it.”
Cabellenus wasn’t the only one who became more agitated as Alicia became thinner.
The same was true for Mrs Morco.
Even though there was a lot of fruit that Alicia could not eat, Mrs Morco didn’t say anything to Cabellenus because she wanted Alicia to try it a bit more.
“……I want to eat soup.”
“Pardon?”
“I want to eat the soup that my mother used to cook for me…….”
Alicia couldn’t speak any more and shook her head.
She knew it was impossible unless her dead mother came back alive.
However, there were times when her mother’s soup suddenly came to mind, especially recently.
Tears welled up at the thought of never being able to eat it again.
“Don’t cry, my lady. I’ll try to do something about it.”
“I’m really sorry. I don’t know why I’m doing this either. I just…….”
Alicia couldn’t speak any more and shut her mouth tightly.
Before she knew it, the tears she unconsciously shed were soaking her skirt.
Recently, she felt strange as she couldn’t control her feelings.
‘I hate it. I truly hate it.’
Alicia shut her eyes tightly, unable to look at her reflection in the water.
[T/N: In case anyone’s confused, she didn’t want to see her reflection in the glass of lemon water……!]
She thought it was okay at first. However, every time she noticed her body change, she became terrified.
“Another doctor will come tomorrow.”
“Then, what about tomorrow’s painting class?”
“My lady’s health is a priority. Please understand even if you’re disappointed.”
“Okay.”
The more she wanted to paint, the more she couldn’t do it.
Alicia wriggled her fingertips, recalling Cabellenus’s face, which she had not yet finished painting.
“In regards to the soup that your mother made for you. Can you tell me what you know about it?”
“Why do you ask?”
“I’m going to try to get it.”
“It’s impossible. My mother passed away a long time ago.”
Alicia shook her head helplessly.
“Even if it doesn’t work, I could at least try and make it.”
“But…….”
Alicia tried to say no as a habit but was startled by Mrs Morco’s confident gaze.
It was better to try than to give up – that was what Mrs Morco had been teaching her.
“It’s a shame to give up without even trying.”
“……I don’t know much, but will it be okay?”
“It’s okay. If you can tell me a little bit of information, it will be quite helpful when I try to re-create it.”
“Then, I’ll think about everything I can and tell you.”
Alicia nodded her head carefully.
Although she thought it would not work, she wanted to challenge herself.
She didn’t know about anything else, but she believed that she could empty any number of bowls of her mother’s dirty and tasteless soup.
[T/N: Her mother’s soup was first mentioned in chapter 6!]
“It doesn’t matter if you’re late, so please take your time to think about it.”
“It’s been a long time since I had the soup, so I can barely think of anything, but I can remember a few things.”
“Can you tell me what you remember?”
“My mother told me she used to eat the soup often when she had me.”
Alicia’s eyes turned downward.
She thought she was doing well, but her eyes reddened at the thought of her mother.
“When she had my lady?”
“When my grandmother had my mother, she ate it as well.”
“It’s like a secret recipe that’s passed down from generations to generations.”
“I’m not sure about that since my mother wasn’t really a family person.”
“…….”
“O-of course, that doesn’t mean that my mother was a strange person!”
Alicia’s shoulders shrank reflexively.
It was still fresh in her memory.
Everyone pointed out that her mother was a vulgar woman.
No matter how decorated it was, the blood of a filthy barbarian was unavoidable.
But the mother Alicia remembered was neither vulgar nor dirty.
Her mother was a strong person.
Even amid the cold repression and persecution, she kept her back straight and protected her beliefs.
“……My mother was only trying to protect me. That’s really all.”
Although everyone would curse at her mother, they didn’t dare to touch her since they were afraid of her strength.
Her mother’s power was a shield to protect her but at the same time reduced her to a tool of power.
And, it was none other than her daughter who took away that shield.