Chapter 293: My Hands Can’t Stop At All! (Part one)
Xu Cheng reached out to shake hands with these two senior brothers, also introducing himself, “My name is Xu Cheng.”
The 8 of Diamonds waved and said, “It’s no fun using real names. To us Dragon Blades, we usually just go by our codenames or nicknames.”
Xu Cheng awkwardly replied, “But I don’t have a nickname.”
Bei Shan: “What do you mean you don’t? Didn’t I give you one last time?’
“Huh?” Xu Cheng looked at him in confusion.
Bei Shan: “Old Two!” (TL note: if you forgot from previous chapters, old two’s a slang for d-ck in Chinese)
Ooof!
Xu Cheng felt an arrow pierce his heart.
“Man, the moment I heard that nickname, I knew it was a powerful one that only you can handle. That’s decided then, we will just call you Old Two from now on!” the J of Diamonds laughed and said.
The 8 of Diamonds clapped and agreed as well. “Yeah, that nickname is dripping swag, just too domineering. Actually, in our Dragon Division, I don’t think anyone would call themselves Old Two! Only you can now, and that’s a symbol of power! Isn’t that great?”
Bei Shan nodded. “See, I actually put in a lot of effort into that nickname for your sake.”
Xu Cheng was speechless. “I want to KMS.’
Then, he asked Bei Shan in curiosity, “Senior Brother Bei Shan, so what are you three doing here?”
The 8 of Diamonds said, “Senior Brother Bei Shan said you are in danger, so we came out. But by the looks of it, you seem to be in great shape.”
The J of Diamonds: “Old Two, I have a serious question for you though, so please answer me very seriously.”
Xu Cheng nodded. “Ask away.”
The J of Diamonds: “Was that woman that you were carrying really your wife?”
Xu Cheng wanted to cry, how dare they all bully him like this? Did he need to bring his marriage certificate with him at all times now to prove to people that the beautiful goddess Lin Chuxue was actually his wife?
Bei Shan: “I asked him that question already, so I can answer in his place. That beautiful-beyond-imagination goddess is really this guy’s wife.”
The 8 and J of Diamonds both exclaimed in disbelief at the same time, “Senior Brother, you are not joking with us, right?’
Bei Shan rolled his eyes at them and said to Xu Cheng, “You go and explain it to them yourself.”
Xu Cheng looked at those two senior brothers of his and said, “No matter how pretty the woman is, the key is to use your heart to pursue her, not your JJ.”
The J of Diamonds glanced at him from the corner of his eyes and said, “As someone nicknamed Old Two(same as JJ, both mean d-ck), you are actually telling us to court girls with our hearts? Don’t tease us.”
Xu Cheng: “I really don’t know what to say to you guys.”
The J of Diamonds said, “But hey, at least your Senior Brother Professor is making progress, at least his higherup wants to casting-couch him.”
The 8 of Diamonds. “…”
Xu Cheng: “Oh that’s nice, Senior Brother Professor, you should try it out with your higher up, maybe it’s true love.”
The 8 of Diamonds: “Go f-k yourself!”
The J of Diamonds: “Oh right, Old Two, how did you get your wife to be with you? Teach us a thing or two.”
Xu Cheng: “Very simple, just be thick-skinned and court her. What are women? They are flowers. And what about men? They are bull crap! And flowers need nutrients to grow, so how can they live without us cow manure as fertilizer? So, consider yourself to be prime cow manure and court her with the intention that it’s for her sake to be with you.”
The 8 of Diamonds actually nodded and asked, “Then how do you become prime-level cow manure?”
Xu Cheng: “This is a great question. As a pile of prime-AAA cow manure, you have the flower growing on you right? Anyone that dares to approach it, you need to take care of the, all.”
The J of Diamonds: “For example?”
Chapter 293: My Hands Can’t Stop At All! (Part two)
Xu Cheng: “For example, during highschool, if someone harasses her with love letters, you go look for him after school. Doesn’t matter if it’s just one or a bunch, you have to let them know who this flower belongs to! If they refuse to acknowledge you, you just beat them up, beat them until they understand. For another example, just at the banquet earlier, you just beat anyone that stands in your way. As a qualified pile of cow manure, you need to be prepared to defend this flower against the world. For instance, creating a path of blood from the palace door to the gate, you have to show them your resolution in protecting your flower.”
The 8 and J of Diamonds were speechless.
After a while, they could only squeeze out a few words. “Man you sure are crazy.”
Xu Cheng suddenly lit up a cig for himself and sighed, “To be honest, it’s been tough courting my wife. Ever since I beat up the first guy that tried to take advantage of my wife back in highschool, I knew my future path would be tough, and I also knew that it’s a path of no return. But, once I threw out that fist, the damage couldn’t be undone anymore, and it’s not like the police would forgive you if you just apologize, right? But as my wife became more and more attractive, my hands just couldn’t stop.”
Then, he walked away.
Bei Shan asked, “Where are you going?”
Xu Cheng: “My addiction of beating people up is acting up again, are you guys coming with me?”
The 8 of Diamonds: “Where are you going? I’m too lazy to fight if it’s just a bunch of thugs.”
Xu Cheng threw the cigarette butt to the ground. “Platinum Palace.”
The eyelids of the three Diamonds brothers jumped. “What are you doing there?”
Xu Cheng said nonchalantly, “Chopping people.”
The three of them shivered.
“Little Brother, are you skipping a few levels here? We are just a little not ready when you say you want to go to the boss fight right away…”
Xu Cheng nodded. “In fact, I already tested the waters earlier at the banquet, and I think I can take them all. So, since I recovered pretty fast, and it’s still dark, it’s a good opportunity. Alright, I will leave first. Senior Brother Bei Shan, if you have nothing to do, please go and just watch over the Lin Family Manor. There might be thieves.”
Then, he just left.
The 8 and J of Diamonds were both shocked. “Is this f0cker actually going?”
Bei Shan looked at Xu Cheng’s disappearing silhouette and sighed, “This guy might be crazy with talk, he’s even more crazy with actions. Last time when I went to the black market with him, I felt like I was watching a movie that was constantly at the climax. The Sonora Family of Mexico just disappeared, just like that, and the head of that family was shot in the head by this guy right in front of the other 5 big families. This guy always goes for the root, he’s very cunning. After circling around in the night with the Sonora Family, he actually just went straight into their home base and killed everyone. Our Division Master is already doing a lot of crazy sh-t despite his old age, and that’s enough for us to worry, and then there’s this guy…”
The J of Diamonds: “I’ve never even seen the Queen’s face in my life, and my daily missions were at most at the mercenary level, yet this b-stard’s already doing boss fights… Indeed, the world of Old Two is too hard to understand.”
The 8 of Diamonds: “So what does Xu Cheng do in real life? Does he need an assistant or a driver or something?”