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“As much as you’ve been by my side.”
Yeah, he wanted to give Rachel everything. Because she was always by his side even when he was lacking.
Rachel stood by him when he was insignificant.
“I want to return it. But if all this is a burden, if I’m a burden, I’ll try to approach you slowly.”
So, please don’t leave me.
Ian fervently worried about what he couldn’t say. Like someone who believed that it would really happen.
“If you don’t like…”
Ian glanced at Rachel’s face.
“I’ll only visit you once every other day. Please allow that much.”
There was a long silence for a while, then Rachel shook her head slightly.
“I want to go back now.”
“…Okay.”
Rachel was tired, and her voice sounded weary.
After Ian’s short answer, silence fell over the park again.
There was only the sound of shoes slowly walking.
Ian bowed his head, and walked much slower than usual.
***
Rachel, who’d returned to her room, sat blankly on her bed and looked down at her foot.
Bandaged.
The white bandage on her foot looked so alien. It was only slightly scraped, but this bandage wasn’t suitable for her.
“You’ve liked me since I was young?”
Ian said that he’d felt that way since he was a child.
‘Then what about Ian in the previous life?’
Was he the same? Did Ian from back then like her too?
Rachel had in fact realized how good Ian was to her during their childhood.
He taught a maid to write, and would give her cake. She couldn’t help but know that he did it because it was her.
Rachel also knew that he treated her differently from the others, and took care of her in a gentle manner.
Yes. At one time, we may have felt the same way for each other. Maybe that’s why it was so sad when she saw his heart leaving.
The older they got, the more it couldn’t be the same as before. No matter how weak he was, he was still a prince and she was a maid.
They were feelings that couldn’t be achieved in the first place. It was natural that they would drift apart, but she was stupid and couldn’t easily give up on those emotions.
Because those memories were so sweet, and she was very happy during that time.
All of the times she was sick and sad was because she was a fool, who was unable to let go of that time.
She lived in the memories of the past, nostalgic for the person who’d left her because she couldn’t accept reality, until she finally hated him.
“No, that’s not it.”
Rachel stared down at her feet for a long time. Eventually she shook her head hard, as if she was trying to shake off the memories related to Ian.
***
Without fail, Rachel had a dream that night.
“Your Highness, today is a festival!”
Ian was on his way back to his room after class. Rachel, who was following him, couldn’t hold back and started talking.
“Oh.”
“Have you ever been to a night market?”
Ian opened his door and glanced back at Rachel, who was behind him.
“I heard from the maids that the night market was really interesting. You can pet monkeys, and watch the circus performers on the street.”
After returning to his room, Ian put away his textbooks, and took out another book.
“The monkeys ride bicycles too. Don’t you want to go?”
“Not at all.”
Ian opened his book, which meant that she should be quiet now.
“Yes, I understand.”
Rachel looked at him regretfully for a moment, but quickly returned as she had things to memorize before the end of the day.
“Your Highness, I’m leaving now.”
A long time passed, and darkness enveloped the world outside the window. It was time for Rachel to go back to her room.
“I’m not going to wait long.”
“What?”
“Just wear your jacket, and come quickly. If you’re late, I’ll go alone.”
Rachel didn’t understand Ian’s words, and tilted her head.
“Where are you going?”
“You said you wanted to go to the night market.”
“Oh? Really?”
Rachel opened her eyes wide in surprise and hopped in place, then she quickly ran to get ready as she remembered Ian’s words.
“I’ll be right back! I’ll be back as soon as possible!”
Rachel looked very excited as she quickly ran to her room.
***
“Follow me well.”
“Yes.”
“If you don’t stay with me, I’ll just leave you behind.”
Ian left the Imperial palace at Rachel’s request, and kept warning her in a chilly tone. Despite Ian’s frigidness, Rachel nodded happily.
The cold night air, and the exciting sound of musical instruments. There was even the smell of delicious food.
Rachel took a deep breath. She wanted to see the night market even more now.
“Hurry up.”
“Yes!”
It was quite hard for the young Rachel to keep up with Ian without being swept away by people, but Rachel worked hard to follow him.
Tap
It would only take a moment of inattention to lose him.
Things would catch her attention, and a few times she was swamped by large crowds.
She quickly chased after Ian’s back, but she could no longer see him.
“…Huh?”
Flustered, she looked around, but there was no way for the short Rachel to find Ian among all of the adults.
“Your Highness…”
However, it was impossible to call out to Ian here. Rachel’s face grew pale.
‘What do I do?’
She wasn’t familiar with the geography of the capital, so she couldn’t find her way back to the Imperial palace.
‘His Highness said he wouldn’t wait for me.’
She was afraid that he’d really leave her behind. She was afraid that she’d never find him because she’d crossed the road without him.
Rachel didn’t know where to go, and started to search around in a panic.
After walking for a long time among the adults, tears finally flowed from Rachel’s eyes.
It seemed that she had lost him.
‘I wish I hadn’t come out like an idiot.’
When she cried, she became more frightened, so she quickly wiped away her tears. Someone grabbed Rachel’s shoulder as she tried to walk through the crowd once again.
“Baby girl. Did you lose your mom?”
At the friendly voice, she shed more tears and nodded.
“Oh my, you should’ve held onto her hand better!”
The woman looked around, and quietly clicked her tongue.
“There are so many people here, so let’s go to the square.”
“But…”
“Even your mother wouldn’t be able to find you in such a crowded place. Come along.”
The woman held Rachel’s hand, and led her away.
Rachel looked around as if she was scared to follow a stranger, but she couldn’t figure out what to do, so she followed the woman who was dragging her along.
“Don’t cry too much, baby girl. Your mom will try to find you too.”
However, Rachel shed even more sad tears at the woman’s words. She wasn’t sure if Ian would try to find her.
He definitely said he would leave if she didn’t follow him well.
When she followed the woman to the square, it became a little quieter.
“Let’s go over there. It’ll be easier for your mother to find you if you’re in a conspicuous place.”
The woman walked to the fountain with Rachel.
“Sit here.”
The woman had Rachel sit on the edge of the fountain in the center of the square.
“Your mom will come to find you soon, so let’s wait here.”
Rachel wasn’t sure yet, so she silently nodded her head. She was really scared that she’d say something unnecessary, and then the woman would leave.
Just like that, she sat there helpless, and soon enough an hour had already passed.
The woman reassured Rachel, saying she would take her home if her mother didn’t show up.
Another thirty minutes passed in this manner.
“Hey!”
A familiar, yet unfamiliar, voice was heard.
“Why are you here?”
Ian shouted as if he was angry.
“I told you to stay with me!”
“…I’m sorry.”
Rachel’s little shoulders hunched as if frightened by the sight of Ian’s anger, which she was seeing for the first time.
“Are you her older brother?”
“Ah…”
Ian finally saw the woman standing beside Rachel, and nodded his head slightly.
“See, your brother came looking for you. Thank goodness. Where’s your mother?”
Ian hesitated for a moment, and then pointed toward the street he’d come from.
“Can you get back to your mother by yourselves? Or do you need me to go with you?”
“No, we can get back on our own.”
“Okay, hold your brother’s hand tightly. Don’t get lost again. Your brother must have been very worried, so don’t be too upset.”
The woman wiped Rachel’s tear stained face and said.
“I’ll get going now. Get home safely.”
After the woman left, Rachel checked Ian’s expression.
“Ha…”
His face was wet with sweat, as if he’d been running around a lot. He flapped his hand in front of his face a few times, as if he wanted to cool down a little bit.
Unable to take off his hat, which hid his noticeably silver hair, he rubbed his face several times with his sleeve as if he were hot.
“Get up. Let’s go.”
Reading his mood, Rachel quickly got up from her seat.
“Tsk, did you cry?”
He looked at Rachel’s red eyes, and rubbed her face with his sleeve.
Like he was trying to wipe Rachel’s face clean.
However, Rachel’s face was even more messed up by his sweaty sleeve.
“Ah…”
Recognizing this fact belatedly, he blurted out some awkward words.
“Wipe your face.”
He’d seemed very angry, but he was no longer angry at Rachel. His tone seemed to have become more gentle than usual.
“…I’ll buy you some ice cream.”
Ian waited for Rachel to wipe off her face, then reached out to her.
“What?”
“Hold hands.”
Rachel looked blankly at Ian’s hand stretched out in front of her, then grasped his hand with both of hers.
“No, like this.”
He smiled as if he was astonished with her action, then gently grabbed Rachel’s hand.
“Well, if I lose you again, I’m the only one who’ll have a hard time.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Were you scared?”
“…Yeah.”
“I told you to follow me carefully.”
He turned his head away slightly, then awkwardly said.
“I saw it on my way here, there was a monkey on the street behind the clock tower.”
He glanced at Rachel, who was walking behind him, then he slowed down.
“Let’s go buy some ice cream, and go see it.”
Rachel smiled brightly at his words, and nodded.
Her eyes were still bright red and her smile looked somewhat crooked, but Rachel looked happy.
She wasn’t happy because he was going to buy her ice cream, or the fact that she’d finally see a monkey and be able to brag about it.
It was because he’d gone looking for her.
It made her feel good to think of him searching for her in the back streets of the clock tower, on the opposite side of the street from where they had walked.
He made an effort to find her, ending up drenched in sweat, but he’d eventually found her and he didn’t abandon her.
Rachel smiled and smiled at Ian’s hand.
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“Is the monkey small?”
“Yes, it was small.”
“Was it a baby then? How small was it? What color was the monkey?”
“I don’t know. Don’t move so much.”
Ian sighed softly at Rachel, who held his hand and waved it around.