***
***
Rachel slowly reached for the ruined doll with tears falling from her eyes. When she grabbed the doll with her trembling hands, Diana slowly walked towards Rachel.
“I’ll do whatever I want.”
Diana trampled on Rachel’s hands with an expressionless face.
Rachel shed tears because of the torn doll while her hands were being stepped on. Maybe she shed tears because she was no longer confident she could go back to the cabin.
“A thief, I feel bad for Ian.”
Rachel hoped that the young lady’s words were false.
Like the people who claimed that she’d stolen the necklace, like Diana when she said the household was short of workers and asked to borrow Rachel.
“Only one maid, and with such a bad habit.”
I hoped it was a lie again.
“I’m teaching you instead of Ian.”
I didn’t think it was a lie this time.
Even though she didn’t see it, it came to her mind vividly as if she was there with them.
Ian’s voice telling Miss Avery to do as she pleased.
She could hear his voice, so real and vivid, in her ear.
***
Nothing was in Rachel’s hands as she was kicked out of the young lady’s room and returned to the cabin.
Neither the torn doll, nor the small piece of meat that Rachel had hoped for, were in her hands.
She wasn’t carrying anything, so her steps should’ve been light, but Rachel’s steps toward the cabin were sluggish, as if she were carrying something very heavy.
Was it because her calves hadn’t healed?
Most of the snow piled up on the path had melted away from the warm sunlight. It was definitely a warm enough day to wet the ground with melted snow.
Perhaps because she didn’t have any outerwear, today felt much colder than any other day.
The bruised Rachel shivered in the cold wind.
It was very cold, her chest felt stuffy, and she wanted to expel something hot that she didn’t understand.
“Gasp.”
Rachel didn’t want to lose any more warmth, so she bit her lip. When she finally arrived at the cabin, the sun had already disappeared behind the mountain.
She didn’t realize what a mess she was until she arrived at the door to the cabin.
Rachel stood there for a while brushing her messy hair with her fingers a few times, then she opened the door to the cabin.
Squeak
“I’m back… I’m done.”
Rachel couldn’t figure out what to say, so she ended up slurring the end of her sentence.
Ian, who had been sitting still and reading when she entered the cabin, closed his book and stood up from his seat at the sound of Rachel’s voice.
“….”
He looked at her with a cold stare, and Rachel’s heart sank as he frowned at her.
Ian stifled a sigh and walked silently out of the room, not wanting to be in the same space with her.
As if Rachel really was a thief.
Rachel’s heart, which had felt hot under his cold stare, chilled. Her heart, which had been trying to pump something hot, was no longer bothering her.
“Ha.”
Rachel shed tears silently like when she was beaten.
Squeak
She wanted to run away somewhere, but Rachel just closed the door to the cabin.
There was nowhere else for her to go unless it was here. There wasn’t a place for a child like her, who had no parents or money.
Perhaps because of her fear of the unknown, or perhaps because she hadn’t yet let go of her regrets, Rachel stepped quietly into the house.
“…that’s too much.”
The only thing Rachel wanted from Ian was for him to believe in her.
She didn’t want him to be angry at Miss Avery, nor did she want him to heal her wounds.
Rachel just wanted him to believe that she didn’t steal Miss Avery’s necklace. She wanted him to recognize a little bit of the wounds she’d received at the castle.
She wanted to say that she was really scared and that it was unfair.
She wanted him to know about the injustice done to her, but there was no one in the cabin to listen to Rachel.
After all, she was only the thief who stole the young lady’s necklace.
When she was at the duke’s castle, she wanted to return here quickly, but the cottage she arrived at was colder than the dungeon in the duke’s castle.
To the point where her heart felt frozen.
Rachel wiped the edges of her eyes and realized.
That there was nowhere for her to go back to, that no one would welcome her anymore.
“This is what happens when someone as vile as you can’t even understand your place, and acts greedy.”
Come to think of it, everything really was her fault.
As Miss Avery said, it was a foolish mistake for her to not understand her place.
It was because of her own greed.
Rachel couldn’t help crying, and bit her lip hard so that the sound wouldn’t be heard.
***
Opening her eyes early in the morning, Rachel walked to the balcony attached to the room.
The blue-gray sky, without even a single small breeze, seemed to be somewhat somber. The cold air made it feel like winter would be here soon.
“….”
Rachel looked silently at the distant sky.
Blinking slowly, Rachel looked at the distant sky for a while with unfocused eyes, then slowly closed her eyes.
‘It’s okay, it’s all in the past.’
Rachel gave a small shake of her head, as if shaking off the nightmare. Unable to do anything about it, she wiped the tears that were flowing down her face, and took a small breath.
“It’s okay.”
It was something that she never experienced in this life.
She never spent the winter in the cabin at the Avery territory, she never met Diana Avery, and she was never accused of stealing her necklace.
So there was no reason to be sad.
It was just a bad dream.
“Ha, it was just a dream.”
It was ridiculous to cry about a nightmare at her age.
***
That day, like any other day, Rachel ate with Ian. However, Ian spoke up about Rachel’s appearance, who looked weaker than usual that day.
“Are you sick?”
“What?”
Rachel, who had been stirring her beef soup with a dazed expression on her face, as if she had forgotten that it was mealtime and that Ian was sitting in front of her, asked back in surprise at Ian’s sudden question.
Rachel flinched nervously at Ian’s purple eyes, and squeezed the spoon in her hand slightly.
“Or you don’t have an appetite? You haven’t eaten a bite.”
“Ah…”
Rachel agonized for a moment to find a suitable answer to Ian’s question.
“Are you okay?”
Ian, who was waiting for Rachel’s answer, spoke again.
Ian’s voice, which sounded worried about her as if he was about to stand up and check on her, was foreign to her.
It was a voice that didn’t suit Ian at all.
Rachel frowned at Ian’s question about whether she was okay, then remembered that it was the emperor who sat in front of her, and quickly erased her expression.
“Oh, you don’t have to worry. I’m just a little tired because I couldn’t sleep well.”
Rachel tried to raise the corners of her mouth, but she wasn’t sure if she made the facial expression she wanted.
“Why? Do you normally sleep poorly?”
“No. Originally I was fine, but…”
She couldn’t say that she started to have nightmares after coming here, so she kept quiet.
“Then I’ll call a doctor, and get you some medicine.”
However, even when Rachel said it was okay, Ian insisted on calling one.
She shook her head quietly because she felt burdened about meeting a doctor when she wasn’t even sick.
“Please don’t fuss over me.”
Rachel didn’t have a fever, and she wasn’t sick, she just couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t understand what kind of medicine the doctor would have her take.
What would she say when the doctor arrived? That she couldn’t sleep?
It was clear that she would be laughed at for making up such an absurd fake illness.
“I’m really fine.”
Ian looked at Rachel, then gently put down the tableware he was holding.
“I don’t want to hear your denial.”
Ian took a sip of his water and turned away.
“Ah…”
Only then did Rachel bite her lip.
She’d forgotten that she didn’t deserve to refuse the emperor, whether it was his favor or an order.
“He’s a talented doctor, so do what he tells you to do. Take the medicine that he gives you.”
“Okay, I’m sorry I bothered you.”
Rachel didn’t want to bother Ian, or cause him trouble.
His interest was burdensome and uncomfortable for her as well.
Rachel quickly scooped up a large spoonful of soup, and put it in her mouth just for show.
However, she didn’t really want to eat the soup. It had gone cold a while ago, and didn’t taste very good.
“Don’t force yourself.”
With a slight frown, Ian said this to Rachel, who seemed to be forcing herself to eat.
He was right that she was, but Rachel just lightly shook her head.
“I’m not forcing myself to eat.”
Then she put a big spoonful of the soup in her mouth again.
Ian slowly opened his mouth while he looked at Rachel.
“There was a place I wanted to go with you today.”
“A place you wanted to go to?”
Rachel, who was trying to force a third spoonful into her mouth, gave a small nod of her head.
She couldn’t believe that there was a place that he wanted to go with her.
“I’ll put it off until next time since you’re sick.”
“Your Majesty, I’m fine, so do as you please.”
Rachel said this before she could even think about Ian taking her into consideration.
“As Your Majesty said, I’ll feel better after taking some medicine and resting.”
Of course it felt uncomfortable when she spent time with him, but it would be inconvenient for Ian if he had to make plans while keeping her in mind.
He was the emperor of the empire, and there was no reason for him to be considerate towards her.
“Then I will send a carriage to the front of the mansion around 5pm today.”
Rachel wondered where the carriage was going, and why she had to ride it, but she didn’t ask.
Because she knew she had to follow him anyway.
Even if she didn’t like the place, she didn’t have a choice.
In addition, she wanted to stop eating with Ian. Perhaps because she didn’t sleep well, she was more tired than usual.
“Okay.”
Rachel replied, and nodded slowly.
Ian hesitated as if he had something more to say, but eventually he decided not to open his mouth.
Rachel quickly pushed the last spoonful into her mouth in front of Ian, who seemed to have finished eating.