I had a nightmare.
A very terrifying nightmare where the improbable happened and I decided to confess, but to the wrong person, after just one drink.
Impossible. With how much alcohol I’ve consumed in this body so far, I can’t get drunk with just one glass. And even if I did get drunk, how could I mistake those two people like that?
So it was a dream. It had to be a dream.
“……”
But then, why is the image of that time stuck in my mind so clearly? Tragically, every moment is so vivid in my memory. The scene keeps replaying in my head with Beethoven’s Symphony of Fate in the background.
At the first light of dawn, my eyes snapped open. Startled, I jumped out of bed and looked around, and I could see Lily sleeping on the other side of me.
So, in actuality, I haven’t gone hiking yet, I haven’t had that dinner, and those memories must be a very horrible nightmare.
And yet, I had a terrible headache, and the aroma of alcohol lingered around the tip of my nose. The aftereffects of that single drink could still be felt somehow.
When I got up from bed, my body was shaking. As I gripped my aching head, I downed several glasses of the lukewarm water in the barracks.
Still, I couldn’t come to my senses. But in fact, I really felt fine beyond the hangover aches and pains, but I didn’t want to believe that this was reality. I fumbled my way out of the barracks, muttering to myself that the cold wind would really sober me up.
The early autumn mornings were really cold, and it could be felt even more so now that there was a waterfall nearby. However, without a single thought of putting on a coat, I continued walking a bit further.
To the very place where I made the wrong confession.
Naturally, there was no one around the camp this morning. Even the sentries went inside after the sun came out, so only the occasional sound of the waterfall could be heard in the quiet stillness.
Yesterday, everything had been hidden in the shade and nothing could be seen, but now that the sunlight is gradually settling in the space, visibility has become clearer.
“Ha.”
…It’s crazy. No way. As I sighed, a curse was about to slip out, so I quickly covered my mouth with my hand. Damn it. I can’t speak without swearing.
I pounded the tree next to me with my fist, crying out in pain as my hand began to throb. It sounds absurd, but now I have to admit the fact that I confessed to the wrong person.
But, but why?
Why Cabel, of all people?
After leaving for the campaign, I suppose we did become closer in our own way. But Cabel is first and foremost a very intimidating person to me.
Of course, it’s true that he’s a ‘battle demon,’ as the rumors that are spread throughout the empire say. He literally wipes out the enemy through sheer power, and he constantly exudes a devastation that makes him difficult to approach, but I know that he’s not really as monstrous as the rumors portray him to be.
Sometimes he frowns a little at light jokes or banter that he doesn’t seem to get, but he never gets angry at anyone, and I know from personal experience that he secretly takes care of the people around him, like he did for me on that dreary day.
However, regardless, he’s just so… he’s such an extraordinary person.
He is a man who will soon become a duke.
Can I just tell such a person, ‘Ahaha, I confessed by mistake only because I was drunk!’ No, isn’t he probably offended by my confession in the first place?
My shoulders trembled, either because of the cold or because of fear. Oh, no. Still, I think it’s best for me to confess that it was a misunderstanding sooner rather than later.
Because when I stuttered out that confession, he answered that he didn’t understand, and then I even collapsed on him with the smell of alcohol all over me, so surely he must know that I wasn’t thinking straight.
So, if I quickly admit to my mistake, he’ll respond that he already knew from the beginning. If everything goes well, we can move on as if nothing happened. If something goes wrong, it may become a bit awkward until we get back…maybe he won’t come to the temple anymore after that, either…
It’d be a bit of a shame to get the temple’s immense financial line cut off, but this expedition will also earn 300 gold, and maybe I’ll even get a special reward as Elvin said, so it shouldn’t be a huge blow.
So, I mean, I was planning to go find Cabel a little later and apologize, but… why do I see him in front of me right now?
Hu-uk, I sucked in my breath and immediately hid myself behind a tree. What the hell, why is he wandering around outside at the break of dawn?!
Thinking up to this point, I was startled that the answer came to me almost immediately: his insomnia must be keeping him from being able to stay asleep again. Damn it. There is an urgent need for the drug to cure insomnia.
I was resting my back against the tree, trying to calm my startled heart, when I realized I could no longer hear the footsteps behind me.
Did he go somewhere else? He didn’t see me, did he? With a glimmer of hope, I leaned my head out to check where he was, but that hope was instantly dashed.
Immediately our eyes met. Cabel was right next to the tree, watching my antics. Hik, hik. I’d completely overlooked the fact that he has risen to the level of a master and is basically a human-body sensor.
As he looked down at me, his dark shadow enveloped me entirely. Most nights it appears as though he sleeps only briefly for an hour or two, but today he looks even more tired, as if he couldn’t sleep at all.
His face was twice as pale and cold in proportion to his exhaustion. And I was twice as terrified.
So I attempted a very awkward smile and took a step backward, his gaze following me. I had to muster up the courage to take another step back, since Cabel was standing near the tree and watching me closely. His voice came out formidably low, interrupting my intention of backing away.
“……yesterday.”
Oh my God. No! I haven’t mentally prepared myself yet! My shoulders immediately began to shake, but Cabel asked again without changing his tone.
“Do you remember what you said yesterday?”
I considered saying that I don’t remember for a moment, but then the sword that hung at his waist caught my eye. Even though I knew I was being oversensitive, I was so scared that I quickly nodded my head.
Somehow, the light of dawn seems to be concentrated around his sword.
“I-I remember!”
“……Then why did you hide a little while ago?”
It must have been obvious I was avoiding him. Somehow, his tone sounded very displeased, so I was speechless. I didn’t sleep well enough to have this conversation with Cabel, who’s in a sensitive state.
For some reason, I have the feeling that the moment I say something wrong, I’ll offend him and everything will be over. The first of which would be my life.
“That is…… I-I’m ashamed….”
I meant to say that I was embarrassed, but as I stuttered, the word ‘shame’ came out instead. Oh no. Now I’m too ashamed to even look at him. With shame piled upon shame, I wanted to go and hide myself away forever. I couldn’t face him, so I bowed my head.
The silence lengthened. I could occasionally hear the sound of birds chirping happily in the early morning while I was stuck staring at the ground, thinking that it would be a great spot to tunnel into and disappear.
We were near the waterfall, so the morning air was so foggy and full that I got goosebumps.
At least, I’m praying that it’s from the air and not the fear of a life-threatening situation… At that moment, I finally heard his voice.
“Do you really remember what you said yesterday?”
“……I confessed in front of the Du-I mean, Sir Knight….”
His voice came out so terribly low that no matter how I thought about it, I was convinced that he must be offended by my confession. So I quickly started formulating the script of my apology to him in my mind.
‘Actually, I was drunk and out of my mind, so nonsense was spewing out.’ When I was contemplating whether or not to reveal that the confession was meant for someone else, he said:
“Cabel.”
……He said it so firmly out of nowhere, so I looked up at him with round eyes. Why did you suddenly say your name?
“……Sorry?”
“From now on, don’t use strange titles. Call me by name.”
His perpetually stony lips slowly rose, and finally drew into a smile. It was a very sweet smile.
…… Huh? No, wa-wait a minute. I froze, unable to understand this situation. However, even in the midst of this confusion, his friendly voice rang in my ears, and a finite smile flickered in front of my eyes. Right now… is Cabel smiling in front of me?
And that softly as well?
It’s the first time in my life that I’ve ever seen Cabel’s smile. Up until now, I’ve always only ever received short remarks or harsh gazes; this is the first time that my eyes have witnessed that icy expression melt and soften.
No, I suppose he has had relaxed expressions right after he wakes up, but now, now…… he-he’s so handsome……aak, no, that’s not the point!
My head was a complete mess. Even though I was caught up in such a distressing situation, I still made the time to admire his looks. I can’t even imagine what the expression on my face must look like right now.
Then, with my body shaking and my head bowed, Cabel grabbed my shoulder, thinking I was crying. Even his touch was sweet.
“Renée.”
The call from his mouth was incredibly gentle. I lowered my head again, screaming internally. His hand reached out and lightly brushed my face as if he was trying to lift my head. Even though it was only a small act, I flinched, and his hand retreated.
But just when I thought it was going to be okay, I heard his voice right next to me. Cabel leaned his upper body and brought his face closer to me. Th-this is insane.
“How long do you plan on not showing me your face?”
The voice that attempted to calm me down was so sweet, as if he really thought I was crying. That voice was so sweet that it made me decidedly certain that if he ever found out that my confession had been a mistake, he would kill me right away.
Ah.